Why Bolton Wanderers are rubbish and how I wish I'd never heard of them.

Nat's been moaning again about the dearth of Bolton-related discussion on here recently, so here's my attempt at sparking some life back into things.

I'm not going to start a "Who's your all-time favourite player?" type thread because that's old hat and they're boring.

No, I'm going down a different route:

Bolton Wanderers are shit.

Properly, utterly shit and I wish I'd been born somewhere else.

Not just "stubbing your toe on the coffee table and it hurting for a bit" shit, but life-ruiningly, overwhelmingly depressing, "I want to beat myself to death with a cricket bad because it's so awful" shit.

And it always has been.

For me it started in the 70's when I wanted to go and watch the players I saw every week in Shoot magazine's glossy pages.

Kevin Keegan and his perm lighting up the pitch in front of the Kop.

Steve Coppell flying down the wing and destroying defenders at Old Trafford.

Brian Clough's Forest winning the league at a canter. (I can still name their European Cup winning side even now.)


But what did I wind up with.....?

Bolton Bloody Wanderers and their shitty, tumbledown public toilet of a ground, Burnden Park.

Thanks Dad......

So after 35 years of supporting Bolton, what have I got to show for it?

Various seasons watching distinctly average / poor players faff about in the lower leagues on a pitch that had more in common with Southport Beach than Wembley, up to my ankles in stale wee, surrounded by drunken idiots, for starters.

Then it was all supposed to get good for a bit when we moved to Horwich and built a shiny new stadium.

But all that actually did was mean that we now had to get the bus at half eleven every Saturday morning and the old pubs that we used to enjoy a pint in after the game all went bust.

Brilliant!

And that's when we decided that embarking on a policy of paying anybody with a foreign sounding name fifty grand a week was the way forward and we all know what that lead to.

(I can let you have 170 million clues to the answer if you're struggling.)

Suddenly we were all spending a hundred quid a week (including expenses) just to watch us get beaten by the likes of Stoke and Norwich - Woohoo! It's the Promised Land!

But then the wheels fell off and we found ourselves back in the forgotten wastes of The Football League (which is shit) and everything's miserable again now.

So on balance, I wish I hadn't bothered.

Can anybody on here convince me that supporting Bolton Bastard Wanderers has actually been worth it and improved their lives?

Give it your best shot.

(But I tell you now, you're wrong.)

Good post, and very true.

I often wonder how my life would have panned out if I'd never been introduced to Bolton Wanderers.

I dread to think how much time I've spent travelling the country following the white shite. Not to mention the cost. And for what? Probably 5 fantastic days, 20-odd very good days, and hundreds of shit-to-average days.

If I ever have children I will do everything I can to stop them following BWFC.

Natasha Whittam wrote:Good post, and very true.

I often wonder how my life would have panned out if I'd never been introduced to Bolton Wanderers.

I dread to think how much time I've spent travelling the country following the white shite. Not to mention the cost. And for what? Probably 5 fantastic days, 20-odd very good days, and hundreds of shit-to-average days.

If I ever have children (apart from being the oldest tranny to ever have kids) I will do everything I can to stop them following BWFC.

I keep trying to make my lad a bolton fan. He just prefers barca.

I was around 12 or 13 when my best mate at school badgered me to go to the match at Burnden Park, I had no interest in football at the time and only went to shut him up. The year would be 1977, the year before we went up as champions and I was hooked, that rat bastard stopped going when we got relegated from Div 1 as it was at the time and I was stuck with a life long addiction, cheers mate.

Move to Catalonia before it's too late, Johnny.

When the day comes that my Dad can no longer fend for himself, he's going in the shed and I'm looking him squarely in the eye and saying "That's for making me follow that shite."

y2johnny wrote:

I keep trying to make my lad a bolton fan. He just prefers barca.

Let him support Barca. Less disappointment and unlikely he'll spend thousands of pounds following them around Spain.

I have no choice. His favourite player is messi (of course) he even sports Brazil instead of England.

I know messi plays for argentina. Just saying he has an eye for the flair i think

Being a shit team makes winning that much sweeter.

A Man Utd supporter has never known how it feels to be a Division 2 team beating the FA Cup holders.

For Man Utd to beat Arsenal, it's just another game. For Bolton to beat Arsenal it's like winning the Premier League in 90 minutes. (120 AET)

Our enjoyment is encapsulated in our final league table position. It can come at any time, especially in the Cup! 

Often the dire football we play doesn't make things easy for us and I get what you mean... even though Arsenal can go a few seasons without a trophy it would still be a treat to see them play every week just because of how enjoyable each individual match is. At least it wouldn't be a hard slog having to turn up to see them.

I've got my Grandson into going he's got all the gear and loves it.

I Genuinely feel guilty for doing it and wish i'd hadn't bothered and waited till he was old enough to chose his own Team ... it's that bad at the Moment for Me

And it's made me ill!

I've just remembered that after spending one particularly terrible Friday evening, standing on a grass covered hill in Wigan, watching us lose to them in heavy rain, I caught a cold and had to miss an Icicle Works gig the following night.

Going to the pictures has never left me house-bound.

my boy (as is well documented on here) is a blue but he does come to the odd game but thats getting less and less.

They were rubbish when i first went on my own as a 15 year old - Grimsby at home first game of the season in Division 4 so even now that's an improvement surely?

Come on people lets all feel the Super White Love again, it will be great when we win the League 1 title next season 

My Town. My club. I've suffered 50 years plus of pain and misery,with a few joyful moments sprinkled in between. As my Geordie mate always said,"you're given your stripes at birth".
So,come what may,you'll find this old git plodding along to the Macron,week in,week out,moaning,groaning,laughing,hurling abuse and wondering why the half time pies are burnt again.
To quote a line from 'The Shawshank Redemption'......."Hope is a good thing".
So,as ever,I'll travel in hope.COYWM.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

boltonbonce wrote:My Town. My club. I've suffered 50 years plus of pain and misery,with a few joyful moments sprinkled in between. As my Geordie mate always said,"you're given your stripes at birth".
So,come what may,you'll find this old git plodding along to the Macron,week in,week out,moaning,groaning,laughing,hurling abuse and wondering why the half time pies are burnt again.
To quote a line from 'The Shawshank Redemption'......."Hope is a good thing".
So,as ever,I'll travel in hope.COYWM.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

well said Boncey 

Yes, but would you have lead a richer and more fulfilling existence if Bolton Wanderers hadn't been involved?

That is the question.

Breadman wrote:Yes, but would you have lead a richer and more fulfilling existence if Bolton Wanderers hadn't been involved?

That is the question.

We'll never know. 
Bet Humphrey drives you mad sometimes.
But would you swap him for a posh,well mannered lap dog?
I reckon you'd have him all day long,warts an' all,despite everything.

i'm glad I 've supported Bolton and can remember the good from it more than the bad.

It's just the Immediate Future that worries me.

no i don't think so Breaders. There have been many ups and downs but i would have missed out on Arsenal away in the FA cup, winning at Cardiif against Preston and at Wembley against Torquay and Reading. Those are memories that i wouldn't want to forget or have been a part of.

On the flip side we had Black Sunday when Manure won 6-0 at Burnden Park and the dark days of Tranmere and Watford beating us in play off finals but you take the rough with the smooth.

I'll always remember that glorious day when i went to Portsmouth away, losing 4-0 and the coach ride coming back was amazing, full of positive people, two hundred quid down , and just got dumped.

I love Bolton .

scottjames30 wrote:I'll always remember that glorious day when i went to Portsmouth away, losing 4-0 and the coach ride coming back was amazing, full of positive people, two hundred quid down , and just got dumped.

I love Bolton .