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The Cap

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1 The Cap on Sat Sep 24 2016, 21:16

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I got fucking angry today, and not just with the shite on the pitch. It's clear the shite off the pitch are just as dim.

I had to sit in the cheap seats today as my box was out of action due to water damage. So I went in the Lofthouse Lower with my father.

When we arrived I needed a drink so I queued at one of the food kiosks (the shame of it) and asked for a bottle of water. The child behind the counter handed it to me, unscrewed the cap, threw it in the bin, and handed me the bottle. Without a cap.

What the fuck?

I told him I didn't want to drink it now, so fucking well pass me a new bottle and keep your grubby hands off the cap.

"Can't do that" was his reply.

When I enquired why, he said it was "club policy" to remove caps to stop me using the bottle as a missile against the players (clearly he had a good idea how the game was going to pan out).

What a load of utter shite. I went mental. There was no mention of this in the signage behind his fat head. I asked him if he'd be pissed off to test drive a car, buy it, then find out the dealer had removed the steering wheel.

A cap is vital to a bottle of water. Who drinks a bottle of water in one go? The utter twats.

Next home game I am sneaking in a load of caps, hopefully they will increase the pain when one hits Trotter's enormous head.

2 Re: The Cap on Sat Sep 24 2016, 22:00

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It's funny that they can take the cap off a pop bottle but you can throw a flask of tea at the players.

3 Re: The Cap on Sat Sep 24 2016, 22:08

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
karlypants wrote:It's funny that they can take the cap off a pop bottle but you can throw a flask of tea at the players.
Can you really? 

I never knew that. I'm definitely getting a ticket for the next home game and taking a flask. Hopefully I'll be able to get close enough to Liam Trotter to use it.

4 Re: The Cap on Sat Sep 24 2016, 22:09

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Bwfc1958 wrote:
I never knew that. I'm definitely getting a ticket for the next home game and taking a flask. Hopefully I'll be able to get close enough to Liam Trotter to use it.

It isn't difficult to get close to Liam Trotter, the useless stump.

5 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 11:55

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
i'd much rather chuck the bottle at Trotter, the cap wouldn't even register on him, a bottle on the head on the other hand....

6 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:00

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Norpig wrote:i'd much rather chuck the bottle at Trotter, the cap wouldn't even register on him, a bottle on the head on the other hand....
The issue is about not being given the cap that was on the water bottle as the whole thing can be used as a missile...

Very Happy

7 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:13

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
i could piss in it and chuck it at him, like at gigs  Very Happy

8 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:16

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
karlypants wrote:
Norpig wrote:i'd much rather chuck the bottle at Trotter, the cap wouldn't even register on him, a bottle on the head on the other hand....
The issue is about not being given the cap that was on the water bottle as the whole thing can be used as a missile...

Very Happy
Norpig obviously thinks they take the cap off the bottle so you can't use the cap as a missile.  Laughing

9 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:17

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Norpig, you've made yourself look a right knob.

The theory is that a bottle of water without a cap is less likely to be used as a missile. PM me if you still don't understand.

10 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:21

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
The thing is that it just doesn't work when removing the cap and keeping it from you, I could bung the end up with bog roll to stop the contents from coming out.

I have seen people bring their weekly shopping in when entering the ground and they are not checked. How do they know that there isn't a brick in one of the bags ready to launch at one of the players?

I remember going to Old Trafford a few years back and I thought that I would buy a bottle of pop before entering the stadium as I didn't want to be ripped off purchasing one in the ground. The dumb Policewoman told me I that I couldn't bring it in even if I removed the cap although they we're happy to serve glass bottled beers that I could have hid somewhere on my person to throw.

11 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:21

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Natasha Whittam wrote:Norpig, you've made yourself look a right knob.

The theory is that a bottle of water without a cap is less likely to be used as a missile. PM me if you still don't understand.
Very Happy

12 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:21

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
why is it less likely though? I could just not take a drink and still lob it at him. Might get a bit wet myself but it would be worth it  Very Happy.

Also i could fill the bottle with bits of junk like empty pie containers and napkins and shit to add a bit of weight then chuck it at the useless lump

13 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:23

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Norpig wrote:why is it less likely though? I could just not take a drink and still lob it at him. Might get a bit wet myself but it would be worth it  Very Happy.

Also i could fill the bottle with bits of junk like empty pie containers and napkins and shit to add a bit of weight then chuck it at the useless lump
Please see comment 10 for ideas. Very Happy

14 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:24

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
thanks KP i'll do that for the next home game  Twisted Evil

15 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:28

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Norpig wrote:thanks KP i'll do that for the next home game  Twisted Evil
You are going to look a bit wierd entering the stadium with a brick, a glass beer bottle, a weeks shopping and an empty bottle of Volvic filled with shit and piss, although if you just tell them you're from breightmet they'll probably understand.

16 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:32

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
all good info, thanks 58

I didn't literally mean shit by the way just bits of rubbish lying around. I'm not a complete animal you know  Very Happy



Last edited by Norpig on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:37; edited 1 time in total

17 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 12:35

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Laughing

18 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 16:26

Cajunboy

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Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
This is just the kind of instructive thread that will encourage new registered users to post on here.

19 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 16:35

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Cajunboy wrote:This is just the kind of instructive thread that will encourage new registered users to post on here.

You'll be eating your sarcastic words when 500 bottles (with caps) slam into Trotter's fat head on Tuesday evening.

20 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 16:43

observer


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
Natasha Whittam wrote:
Cajunboy wrote:This is just the kind of instructive thread that will encourage new registered users to post on here.

You'll be eating your sarcastic words when 500 bottles (with caps) slam into Trotter's fat head on Tuesday evening.
Do you want to awaken him from his nap?

21 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 16:45

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
observer wrote:
Do you want to awaken him from his nap?

I think 3 years is long enough for any nap.

22 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 16:57

observer


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
Natasha Whittam wrote:
observer wrote:
Do you want to awaken him from his nap?

I think 3 years is long enough for any nap.
But Trotter only naps two hours a day... stop complaining.  We just have to get him to move his naptime to before or after the matches.

23 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 17:04

gloswhite

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Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
I don't think he's napping, rather that his brain is in neutral, relying on basic programming to kick the bloody ball sideways or backwards.

24 Re: The Cap on Sun Sep 25 2016, 17:12

observer


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
gloswhite wrote:I don't think he's napping, rather that his brain is in neutral, relying on basic programming to kick the bloody ball sideways or backwards.
Just like the actor who questions the director...  "What is my motivation?"

The director replies... "Your paycheck!"

Perhaps we can leverage that into football.  No passion, no paycheck!  Put out or get out! Come to play or don't collect a check.

25 Re: The Cap on Mon Sep 26 2016, 10:09

gloswhite

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Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
The problem with that Obs, is that they've been doing it for so long, it'll take ages to get that philosophy to become the norm again.

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