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The dreaded snip...

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1 The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 10:49

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Ok, against my better judgement, I'm putting this out there on a football forum. 

Due to the relentless nature of my supercharged little swimmers, I'm considering going to the hospital and letting someone take a blade to my nether regions to stop these baby making super soldiers in their tracks. 

After giving it some thought and looking into it a bit, to be quite honest, it scares the shit out of me. I'm not squeamish or bothered by anything really in the main. Everyone I know thinks I'm a complete not right because I quite enjoy going to the dentist. The injection, the drill and even the cracking and ripping sounds when I'm having a tooth ripped out is quite an enjoyable experience for me. 

Anyway, the thought of having this done makes me turn white, feel faint and I need a sit down. My dad had it done many years ago and according to my mum was out in a couple of hours and came home on the bus. My dad is sadly no longer around to pass on his knowledge of the whole experience, so as I said, against my better judgement, I'm turning to the great and the good of Nuts to advise me on, well, my nuts. 

Has anyone on here ever had it done and able to ease my mind? How does it actually feel etc. 

Before the other contraceptive suggestions come rolling in, the pill isn't an option as it gives the missus headaches and she won't go for the thing in the arm or the coil. 

Fire away people. Put my mind at rest.

2 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 11:00

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
My mate had his done years ago and is always saying to me i should have one as well but i'm like you 58, i don't really fancy it

My mate said it was painless and no bother, just a bit of swelling for a few days after but in general he had no problems

3 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 11:02

Bread2.0

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
The post-op swelling is the main problem.

But once it goes down, you'll be fine.

4 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 11:31

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
Buster Gonad  Laughing

I used to have a Viz t-shirt with him on years ago

5 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 11:44

wanderlust

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Two things:
1) Be absolutely certain that you don't ever want more kids - and consider the possibility of changing partners down the line for whatever reason as ridiculous as it may seem now. I'd freeze some of your tadpoles before you get chopped.
2) Beware kids jumping on to your lap.

6 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 11:47

Bread2.0

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Is point 2 not quite a strong argument for ignoring point 1?

7 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 11:58

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me

8 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 12:22

rammywhite

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El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
Go for it- a couple of paracetamol will cure the pain quickly.
The worst nightmare is when a gorgeous young nurse tells you to drop them and then handles your kit.....then the inevitable happens!!

9 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 12:25

Bread2.0

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
rammywhite wrote:Go for it- a couple of paracetamol will cure the pain quickly.
The worst nightmare is when a gorgeous young nurse tells you to drop them and then handles your kit.....then the inevitable happens!!

I think I've seen that in a film.

Quite a few films actually.

Some German, some Dutch, some Swedish....

10 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 12:32

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Wasn't there supposed to be an injection out that worked liked the pill for men?

11 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 12:34

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Two country boys, Leroy and Bubba, both have 6 children. One night they are sitting at the bar, talking about their kids. “Leroy”, Bubba says, ” I’ve been considering getting a vasectomy, on account of all the kids I have.” “Well Bubba, I’ve been considering getting one too, I’ll go to the doctor and ask about it if you go with me.” Leroy responds. They decide to go to the doctor the next day and hear about the procedure.
The next day, they go to the doctor. He explains the procedure, and gives them a price of $5000 per surgery. “$5000, Doc? I’m a poor farmer, I can’t afford a $5000 surgery” says Bubba. “Same here,” says Leroy. “Well,” says the doctor, ” I’ve got a procedure that you can perform at home. First, get a Coca-Cola in a can, drink it, light an M80 firecracker, put it in the can, keep hold of the can, and count to 10.” “Does that really work?” Leroy asks. “I’m sure of it” says the doctor.
Both men go home, and Bubba decides to give the doctor’s method a try. He drinks the drink, lights the M80, puts it in the can, and begins to count to 10 using his fingers. After he gets past 5, he holds the can between his legs. Right when he gets to 10, the firecracker went off, and he no longer needed a vasectomy.

12 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 12:46

wanderlust

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
karlypants wrote:Wasn't there supposed to be an injection out that worked liked the pill for men?

That'll be heroin.

13 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:08

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Norpig wrote:Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me
I'm 100% certain I don't want any more kids. 3 is enough and I don't want to spend my entire life raising young kids. A lie in would be nice at some point in my life as well. If I did end up with someone else in the future for whatever reason and she wanted kids, it would be tough shit I'm afraid.

14 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:10

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
rammywhite wrote:Go for it- a couple of paracetamol will cure the pain quickly.
The worst nightmare is when a gorgeous young nurse tells you to drop them and then handles your kit.....then the inevitable happens!!
Hadn't thought of that! Dropping my pants in a room full of people looking at my cock doesn't sound like fun. They'd be impressed of course, but that's hardly the point.

15 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:15

Sluffy

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Admin
Bwfc1958 wrote:
Norpig wrote:Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me
I'm 100% certain I don't want any more kids. 3 is enough and I don't want to spend my entire life raising young kids. A lie in would be nice at some point in my life as well. If I did end up with someone else in the future for whatever reason and she wanted kids, it would be tough shit I'm afraid.

I'm fairly certain you can get the snip reversed but it doesn't always succeed.

I once worked with a bloke who had the snip, wife later dumped him, got off with the office tart who wanted kids, had a reversal and a baby and lived happily ever after as far as I know.

16 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:18

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Sluffy wrote:
Bwfc1958 wrote:
Norpig wrote:Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me
I'm 100% certain I don't want any more kids. 3 is enough and I don't want to spend my entire life raising young kids. A lie in would be nice at some point in my life as well. If I did end up with someone else in the future for whatever reason and she wanted kids, it would be tough shit I'm afraid.

I'm fairly certain you can get the snip reversed but it doesn't always succeed.

I once worked with a bloke who had the snip, wife later dumped him, got off with the office tart who wanted kids, had a reversal and a baby and lived happily ever after as far as I know.

I'm not sure I can pluck up the courage to go in there once so twice is a definite no no.

17 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:21

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
Bwfc1958 wrote:
Norpig wrote:Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me
I'm 100% certain I don't want any more kids. 3 is enough and I don't want to spend my entire life raising young kids. A lie in would be nice at some point in my life as well. If I did end up with someone else in the future for whatever reason and she wanted kids, it would be tough shit I'm afraid.
 you're right 3 is enough, we have 2 and that's hard enough for me and Mrs Pig

18 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:36

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I had my nuts nobbled back in 97. We decided we didn't want anymore kids and that was that. I had a local at Altrincham General and my father-in-law drove me home afterwards. I had it done on a Friday and I was back in work on Monday. I recommended the op to a work colleague who had two daughters and didn't want anymore, so he took my advice and got booked in. ( I wont tell you what happened until after you have been neutered 58! )
Make sure you take some earphones so you can listen to music while your knackers are knitted. I didn't and I wished I had. 
I have been a seedless Jaffa for twenty years now and it never did me any harm.

19 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 13:42

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Sluffy wrote:
Bwfc1958 wrote:
Norpig wrote:Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me
I'm 100% certain I don't want any more kids. 3 is enough and I don't want to spend my entire life raising young kids. A lie in would be nice at some point in my life as well. If I did end up with someone else in the future for whatever reason and she wanted kids, it would be tough shit I'm afraid.

I'm fairly certain you can get the snip reversed but it doesn't always succeed.

I once worked with a bloke who had the snip, wife later dumped him, got off with the office tart who wanted kids, had a reversal and a baby and lived happily ever after as far as I know.

You can have the snip reversed but there is only a 50% chance it will work. Also, you cannot have the reversal op on the NHS, you have to go private. When you have the snip on the NHS you have to first have a consultation with your GP and the possibility of remarrying or losing your partner is always pointed out. when you have the op you have to sign a disclaimer agreeing to the op on the proviso that the procedure you are undertaking is irreversible.
Also, after the op you will be required to send two sperm samples a month apart so they can check that the op was successful.

20 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:02

Bread2.0

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Regarding sperm samples, did anybody else who's had to do it, sit on the bed for five minutes after they'd finished just so that the nurse waiting outside didn't think you were "a bit quick" and by extension, rubbish in bed?

Or was that just me?

21 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:03

rammywhite

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El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
Bread2.0 wrote:Regarding sperm samples, did anybody else who's had to do it, sit on the bed for five minutes after they'd finished just so that the nurse waiting outside didn't think you were "a bit quick" and by extension, rubbish in bed?

Or was that just me?

Bredders-I hope it wasn't a male nurse!

22 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:07

okocha

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Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
Been there, done that, 1958. Had a pill that put me to sleep for the duration. When I came round, I felt no discomfort whatsoever. In fact, I began to wonder if they had done the op at all. I was warned not to do anything too strenuous for a few days, but felt as if I could have gone out for a round of golf if I'd wanted to. 100% success; 0% pain!
Relax, mate!

23 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:09

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Reebok Trotter wrote:I had my nuts nobbled back in 97. We decided we didn't want anymore kids and that was that. I had a local at Altrincham General and my father-in-law drove me home afterwards. I had it done on a Friday and I was back in work on Monday. I recommended the op to a work colleague who had two daughters and didn't want anymore, so he took my advice and got booked in. ( I wont tell you what happened until after you have been neutered 58! )
Make sure you take some earphones so you can listen to music while your knackers are knitted. I didn't and I wished I had. 
I have been a seedless Jaffa for twenty years now and it never did me any harm.
Paint me a picture RT. From walking in there to walking out. Also, can you feel anything whilst it's happening?

24 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:10

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
okocha wrote:Been there, done that, 1958. Had a pill that put me to sleep for the duration. When I came round, I felt no discomfort whatsoever. In fact, I began to wonder if they had done the op at all. I was warned not to do anything too strenuous for a few days, but felt as if I could have gone out for a round of golf if I'd wanted to. 100% success; 0% pain!
Relax, mate!
I was under the impression you could only have it done with local anaesthetic rather than general?

25 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:11

Norpig

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Jussi Jääskeläinen
Jussi Jääskeläinen
Bread2.0 wrote:Regarding sperm samples, did anybody else who's had to do it, sit on the bed for five minutes after they'd finished just so that the nurse waiting outside didn't think you were "a bit quick" and by extension, rubbish in bed?

Or was that just me?
Did they provide any magazines to help you out?

26 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:12

finlaymcdanger

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
A friend told me that they inject your balls before the procedure. That put me right off the idea.

27 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:39

okocha

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Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
I think Trotter must have had his balls injected with anaesthetic, given his movement on the pitch....

28 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:46

gloswhite

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Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
When I was bricked up, they knocked me out for it. However, that was when I discovered that I suffer, on occasion, from sleep apnea. Apart from nearly choking to death from the anaesthetic, everything was fine. 
The next few days were interesting, as the swelling made them about the same size and colour as cricket balls, but with no pain. Bit awkward as I was on Ascension Island, and wearing shorts  Very Happy

Seriously, if you make the decision, I doubt you will have any problems.

29 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 14:47

rammywhite

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El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
gloswhite wrote:When I was bricked up, they knocked me out for it. However, that was when I discovered that I suffer, on occasion, from sleep apnea. Apart from nearly choking to death from the anaesthetic, everything was fine. 
The next few days were interesting, as the swelling made them about the same size and colour as cricket balls, but with no pain. Bit awkward as I was on Ascension Island, and wearing shorts  Very Happy

Seriously, if you make the decision, I doubt you will have any problems.

Glos,
Have you got a CPAP machine for your apnoea?

30 Re: The dreaded snip... on Fri Mar 17 2017, 15:06

Cajunboy

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Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
Norpig wrote:Lusty has a point  58, you are still a young fella, not a middle aged has-been like me
That's true.

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