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Parcel Etiquette

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1 Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:02

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Forget 58's willy problems, this is a more important issue. Parcels.

I don't usually see the postman, but this week I've been working at home as we have the painters in at Whittam International plc. On Tuesday he knocked on my door and asked if I would take a parcel for the slut at number 3b (she's 35 and has a different bloke every weekend, and she also had her eyes on my Cecil).

I reluctantly agreed.

It's now Friday afternoon and the woman hasn't been by to collect her parcel. I know she knows I have it as the delivery guy put a note through her letterbox.

Is she expecting me to go round and deliver it? It's only a few feet from my door but surely the person who kindly took in the parcel shouldn't have to deliver it as well? Whenever someone takes in a parcel for me I always go and collect it and thank the person.

I refuse to deliver the parcel. How long should I keep it? Should I open it (I suspect it's a huge vibrator judging by the packaging, although it could be a cucumber). Either one would come in handy.

Am I in the wrong or should I stand my ground?

2 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:10

Norpig

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John McGinlay
John McGinlay
the postie probably didn't put a card in her door so you open it and enjoy. If it is a cucumber it may be a bit soggy now though so go easy with it and make sure you rinse it first. You don't want any more minge issues, i suspect its only just recovered from the singeing

3 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:12

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Norpig wrote:the postie probably didn't put a card in her door so you open it and enjoy. If it is a cucumber it may be a bit soggy now though so go easy with it and make sure you rinse it first. You don't want any more minge issues, i suspect its only just recovered from the singeing

Firstly, I saw him put the note through her letterbox. She knows.

Secondly, answer the fooking question, stop obsessing over my fanny like it's Alf.

4 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:14

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Stand your ground Nat.
We have this problem at least twice a week. If the postie says he's left a card at their address,then it's their responsibility to pick up the package.
You could send your manservant round,but I'm sure he has other duties.

5 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:15

Norpig

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John McGinlay
John McGinlay
ok, i wouldn't take it round, it's her job to collect it. Perhaps she's been too busy with Cecil?

6 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:16

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Norpig wrote:ok, i wouldn't take it round, it's her job to collect it. Perhaps she's been too busy with Cecil?
What happened to Cedric?

7 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:16

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Norpig wrote:ok, i wouldn't take it round, it's her job to collect it. Perhaps she's been too busy with Cecil?

That's like a dagger to my heart you bitch.

8 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:16

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
boltonbonce wrote:What happened to Cedric?

I met his brother Cecil. I'm not proud of myself.

9 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:17

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
boltonbonce wrote:You could send your manservant round,but I'm sure he has other duties.

I had to get rid of the help during the credit crunch.

10 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:21

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Natasha Whittam wrote:
boltonbonce wrote:What happened to Cedric?

I met his brother Cecil. I'm not proud of myself.
What's Cecil got that Cedric hasn't? (Never thought I'd ever type such a sentence.)

11 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:25

Bwfc1958

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Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
You should really stand your ground and keep it until the lazy bitch gets off her arse and picks it up, but I can only have something like that so long before temptation gets the better of me and I get the urge to open it, so I'd have to deliver it myself. I'm like one of those children who gets told not to press the big red button but have to do it anyway. Isn't it illegal to open someone else's post?

12 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:50

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Bwfc1958 wrote:Isn't it illegal to open someone else's post?

It probably is, but like you say, there's only so long you can stare at a parcel before you want to open it.

13 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:50

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
boltonbonce wrote:What's Cecil got that Cedric hasn't?

He's more flexible.

14 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 00:59

Sluffy

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Admin
I've taken in the odd parcel or two over the years.

If I hear/see the neighbour return that day, I'll go to the door and hand them the parcel but if I miss them by going out myself before they return, then I prefer to go and knock on their doors when I get back, rather than wait for them to call on me.

That way it is them that have to get out of their shower, or get up half way through their meal, or whatever it is they are doing at the time, rather than it be me when they call round!

I always think it is always a good thing generally anyway to treat people (particularly your neighbours) well, as one day you might be needing their help with something or other and they are less likely to put themselves out for you if you've been acting like a bellend.

I do find it surprising though as how people seem to keep themselves to themselves though these days and seldom find time to wave to their next door neighbour let alone spend a few moments having a chat with them.   When I was a kid I knew every person on my street but these days and even being as friendly as I am, I only know two or three neighbours well enough to say more than just hello/goodbye to.

I guess that is just the way it is these days.

15 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 14:08

gloswhite

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Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
I'm with Sluffy on this. If you weren't prepared to make sure your neighbor got the parcel, why take it in ? Its from little things like this that you will talk to your neighbors, and actually find you get on with them, or at least, get more gossip. There aren't many opportunities to speak to people who live around you nowadays, so take each opportunity as it comes.

16 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 14:13

wanderlust

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Does the parcel make a ticking sound?

17 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 17:37

Chairmanda

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Push a note through her door saying you've left it in the bin area

18 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 17:55

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
gloswhite wrote:I'm with Sluffy on this. If you weren't prepared to make sure your neighbor got the parcel, why take it in ?

You're right, she's the victim :facepalm:

19 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 20:23

gloswhite

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Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
She's only a victim if you want her to be. 
There are no circumstances, in this issue, where you could be considered a victim.  :facepalm:

20 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sun Mar 19 2017, 11:16

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
gloswhite wrote:She's only a victim if you want her to be. 
There are no circumstances, in this issue, where you could be considered a victim.  :facepalm:

You bellend. Do you know how annoying it is to have a sausage shaped parcel sat by the door all week. I like things in order and in their rightful place.

The parcel is still here. Tomorrow it will be opened and then binned. Unless of course it is a huge vibrator.

21 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sun Mar 19 2017, 22:37

gloswhite

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Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
Fair enough. If its a penis shaped parcel, and its lying inactive, it obviously needs handling  Very Happy

22 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Mon Mar 20 2017, 17:57

Chairmanda

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Andy Walker
Andy Walker
So, what happened? This is almost as exciting as the live feed of the pregnant giraffe!

23 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:34

Cajunboy

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Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
There never was a parcel.

It's all just fantasy.

24 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:35

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Chairmanda wrote:So, what happened? This is almost as exciting as the live feed of the pregnant giraffe!

The parcel is still here. Unopened. I think I may be crossing a line by opening it.

I'll give it a few more days then "return to sender".

25 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:37

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Cajunboy wrote:There never was a parcel.

It's all just fantasy.

If the best fantasy I could come up with was a fictitious parcel I'd retire from football forums.

I've had marriage proposals on here you know!

26 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:39

Cajunboy

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Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
Natasha Whittam wrote:
Cajunboy wrote:There never was a parcel.

It's all just fantasy.

If the best fantasy I could come up with was a fictitious parcel I'd retire from football forums.

I've had marriage proposals on here you know!
Who from though?

27 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:40

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Cajunboy wrote:Who from though?

A real person. He dumped his girlfriend for me. But I had to turn him down, it wouldn't have worked out.

28 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:42

Cajunboy

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Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
That's very sad.

I hope you have managed to put it behind you.

Do you know what happened to his girlfriend?

29 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:47

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Just had a card through the door from Royal Mail saying,'Unfortunately we can't deliver your parcel because there is a fee to pay'.
It seems the customs have slapped an £11.73 charge on it(£8.00 handling fee).
The package appears to be a DVD. 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents', series one,dispatched from and sold by Amazon.
Never happened before,but I'll just have to cough up. Not happy.

30 Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:47

Natasha Whittam

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Cajunboy wrote:That's very sad.

I hope you have managed to put it behind you.

Do you know what happened to his girlfriend?

I don't, I had to cut all ties with him after I turned down his marriage proposal.

People I've turned down have a habit of turning into stalkers.

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