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Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI

+15
wanderlust
gloswhite
finlaymcdanger
boltonbonce
y2johnny
xmiles
Reebok Trotter
okocha
Cajunboy
Sluffy
BoltonTillIDie
Bwfc1958
Norpig
Natasha Whittam
karlypants
19 posters

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boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Sluffy wrote:
boltonbonce wrote:Just learned that my Niece's lad has fallen off his bicycle,and sustained a broken arm.

I'm a very proud man. It looks like I can hand the baton to another champ.

I might buy him a skateboard.

Sorry, just seen this.

Hope the youngster quickly get's well and he's up and around after no time!

Cheers Sluffy. Turns out it's broken in two places. The elbow being one of them.

Not good,but he's enjoying all the attention.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Parasites invade Houses of Parliament.

So what's new?

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse


There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it: 

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. 

The receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

He replied, "There's something wrong with my dick." 

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." 

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you." 

The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." 
"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone," the man said. Then he walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering. 

The receptionist smiled smugly and said, "Yes?" 

"There's something wrong with my ear."

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?" 

"I can't piss out of it."

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

It's bloody walking day in Warrington. It's a pain in the arse.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

boltonbonce wrote:Nice to see some good news.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-44688909

Wonderful story, I'm so happy it all ended so well.

(Sounds like British special services found them as well if you listen to the clip of the first two divers to find them!).


boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Not quite over yet. Getting them all to the surface will present some difficulties,but I'm sure they can be overcome.

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

boltonbonce wrote:Not quite over yet. Getting them all to the surface will present some difficulties,but I'm sure they can be overcome.

Yes, I'm sure they will get them all out safely in due course now that they know where they are and they all seem to be in reasonably good health.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Oh dear. Luckily I grew up with much nicer people. The KKK in Smethwick. Shocked

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Paper boy delivered The Mail again. I'm sure he's trying to wind me up. Apparently the local shop is struggling to recruit new boys and girls to do the job,and is thinking of discontinuing the service.
We used to fight over a job like that. Parents must be giving them too much spending money.

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

boltonbonce wrote:Paper boy delivered The Mail again. I'm sure he's trying to wind me up. Apparently the local shop is struggling to recruit new boys and girls to do the job,and is thinking of discontinuing the service.
We used to fight over a job like that. Parents must be giving them too much spending money.

Have you considered doing a round?

Seriously, I know you don't need the money or anything but as someone who is recently retired and who is used to early mornings and physical work it could be a way of setting a little regime for yourself whilst you settle into full retirement.

Just a thought.

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

boltonbonce wrote:Paper boy delivered The Mail again. I'm sure he's trying to wind me up. Apparently the local shop is struggling to recruit new boys and girls to do the job,and is thinking of discontinuing the service.

I'm surprised at this. I had Bonce down as one of those people who reads the paper in Asda without paying for it.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Sluffy,as a teenager I got a part time job delivering leaflets. Simple enough,I thought.
Not for me.
I had to run the gauntlet of stiff,hand trap letter boxes,dogs or cats,waiting patiently behind the door,in the hope of nabbing a finger or two,stange old men who opened the door wearing only their underpants,and lunatics,who thought that anyone walking up their garden path was probably a psychopath.
I'll enjoy my retirement in other ways,but a good idea for anyone up for it.
As for that harsh comment from Nat,I do PERUSE the newspaper in ASDA,but only to check what I might be buying.
I'm sure Nat tries her 'female comforters' before she buys them.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Someone just sent me this. Bastard.

wanderlust

wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

boltonbonce wrote:Someone just sent me this. Bastard.
Terrible day. Although I did get to meet some of the regular posters for a pint in the Harvester before the game. Despite that goal (I was sat right behind) I did think Tim Ream was going to score at the death with a header but it was not to be. If only we'd had VAR eh?

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

We got the wrong end of the stick when we were relegated because of the 'ghost goal' we scored against Everton. Should have been them going down.
But I'm not one to dwell on the past. 
I've got enough problems with my recurring dreams of Barry Knight.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Don't know what all the fuss is about. It's South Wales. Probably on a date.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-44750013

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

boltonbonce wrote:The things Bonce finds on the internet. Shocked


Fixed.

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