You are not connected. Please login or register

Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI

Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI

Go to page : Previous  1 ... 11 ... 18, 19, 20 ... 24 ... 29  Next

Go down  Message [Page 19 of 29]

541 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jun 15 2018, 23:35

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Sluffy wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:Just learned that my Niece's lad has fallen off his bicycle,and sustained a broken arm.

I'm a very proud man. It looks like I can hand the baton to another champ.

I might buy him a skateboard.

Sorry, just seen this.

Hope the youngster quickly get's well and he's up and around after no time!

Cheers Sluffy. Turns out it's broken in two places. The elbow being one of them.

Not good,but he's enjoying all the attention.

542 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Jun 16 2018, 19:03

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Parasites invade Houses of Parliament.

So what's new?

543 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Jun 25 2018, 12:39

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it: 

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. 

The receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

He replied, "There's something wrong with my dick." 

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." 

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you." 

The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." 
"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone," the man said. Then he walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering. 

The receptionist smiled smugly and said, "Yes?" 

"There's something wrong with my ear."

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?" 

"I can't piss out of it."

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose

544 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jun 29 2018, 13:12

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It's bloody walking day in Warrington. It's a pain in the arse.

545 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Jul 02 2018, 16:51

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

546 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Jul 02 2018, 20:47

Sluffy

avatar
Admin

Wonderful story, I'm so happy it all ended so well.

(Sounds like British special services found them as well if you listen to the clip of the first two divers to find them!).


547 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Jul 02 2018, 21:44

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Not quite over yet. Getting them all to the surface will present some difficulties,but I'm sure they can be overcome.

548 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Jul 02 2018, 22:09

Sluffy

avatar
Admin
@boltonbonce wrote:Not quite over yet. Getting them all to the surface will present some difficulties,but I'm sure they can be overcome.

Yes, I'm sure they will get them all out safely in due course now that they know where they are and they all seem to be in reasonably good health.

549 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Tue Jul 03 2018, 17:21

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Oh dear. Luckily I grew up with much nicer people. The KKK in Smethwick. Shocked

550 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 11:10

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Paper boy delivered The Mail again. I'm sure he's trying to wind me up. Apparently the local shop is struggling to recruit new boys and girls to do the job,and is thinking of discontinuing the service.
We used to fight over a job like that. Parents must be giving them too much spending money.

551 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 12:14

Sluffy

avatar
Admin
@boltonbonce wrote:Paper boy delivered The Mail again. I'm sure he's trying to wind me up. Apparently the local shop is struggling to recruit new boys and girls to do the job,and is thinking of discontinuing the service.
We used to fight over a job like that. Parents must be giving them too much spending money.

Have you considered doing a round?

Seriously, I know you don't need the money or anything but as someone who is recently retired and who is used to early mornings and physical work it could be a way of setting a little regime for yourself whilst you settle into full retirement.

Just a thought.

552 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 12:16

Natasha Whittam

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:Paper boy delivered The Mail again. I'm sure he's trying to wind me up. Apparently the local shop is struggling to recruit new boys and girls to do the job,and is thinking of discontinuing the service.

I'm surprised at this. I had Bonce down as one of those people who reads the paper in Asda without paying for it.

553 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 12:25

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Sluffy,as a teenager I got a part time job delivering leaflets. Simple enough,I thought.
Not for me.
I had to run the gauntlet of stiff,hand trap letter boxes,dogs or cats,waiting patiently behind the door,in the hope of nabbing a finger or two,stange old men who opened the door wearing only their underpants,and lunatics,who thought that anyone walking up their garden path was probably a psychopath.
I'll enjoy my retirement in other ways,but a good idea for anyone up for it.
As for that harsh comment from Nat,I do PERUSE the newspaper in ASDA,but only to check what I might be buying.
I'm sure Nat tries her 'female comforters' before she buys them.

554 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 12:53

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Someone just sent me this. Bastard.

555 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 13:48

wanderlust

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:Someone just sent me this. Bastard.
Terrible day. Although I did get to meet some of the regular posters for a pint in the Harvester before the game. Despite that goal (I was sat right behind) I did think Tim Ream was going to score at the death with a header but it was not to be. If only we'd had VAR eh?

556 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 05 2018, 14:00

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
We got the wrong end of the stick when we were relegated because of the 'ghost goal' we scored against Everton. Should have been them going down.
But I'm not one to dwell on the past. 
I've got enough problems with my recurring dreams of Barry Knight.

557 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 06 2018, 10:03

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

558 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Jul 07 2018, 16:59

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Don't know what all the fuss is about. It's South Wales. Probably on a date.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-44750013

559 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Jul 08 2018, 13:22

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

560 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Jul 08 2018, 13:32

Natasha Whittam

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:The things Bonce finds on the internet. Shocked


Fixed.

561 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Jul 08 2018, 13:33

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:The things Bonce finds on the internet. Shocked


Fixed.
Fair enough. Razz

562 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Jul 08 2018, 14:00

BoltonTillIDie

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Currently rescued 6 boys, in a rush to rescue before the monsoon cause more flooding

563 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Jul 08 2018, 14:32

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@BoltonTillIDie wrote:
Currently rescued 6 boys, in a rush to rescue before the monsoon cause more flooding
We're seeing people at their best. Good luck to them.

564 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Thu Jul 12 2018, 12:46

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Nothing to do with me. 

565 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 13 2018, 13:15

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
A motorist was stopped by police for driving while sitting on a bucket and steering with pliers.


Shocked

566 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 13 2018, 13:18

Norpig

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
just seen that on the BBC website, have a look at the car (what's left of it anyway)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-44819316

567 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 13 2018, 13:29

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Norpig wrote:just seen that on the BBC website, have a look at the car (what's left of it anyway)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-44819316
Looks like the last taxi I was in.

568 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 13 2018, 15:45

Natasha Whittam

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:A motorist was stopped by police for driving while sitting on a bucket and steering with pliers.


Shocked

I read that story this morning, and Bonce was the first person who came into my head.

569 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 13 2018, 16:09

wanderlust

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It's Norfolk. What's the problem?

570 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Jul 13 2018, 16:24

boltonbonce

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:A motorist was stopped by police for driving while sitting on a bucket and steering with pliers.


Shocked

I read that story this morning, and Bonce was the first person who came into my head.
A rather unfortunate choice of words,that may,I feel,cause some on here to become a little bilious.

Back to top  Message [Page 19 of 29]

Go to page : Previous  1 ... 11 ... 18, 19, 20 ... 24 ... 29  Next

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum