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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Bolton Wanderers Banter » Bolton Nut Ultras.

Bolton Nut Ultras.

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121 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Mon Mar 24 2014, 23:23

Copper Dragon

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Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo
What a tinpot firm.

You've got one covered in goose fat being chased by a Chink and 9 ugly women.

You've got one nicked for rape or murder, what with him being in a paper suit.

And a leader that doesn't know his arse from his elbow.


It's not too late to join me and the SUI. You don't have to be Burnley fans to join, we can just follow England abroad and cause havoc. Next stop Brazil.

Although I must warn you that Brazilian police don't take any prisoners, so it's every man for himself.



122 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 11:09

Guest


Guest
Morning fellow BNU's.

Can't stay on long because I've just escaped from the nick they were holdong me in and I'm currently on the run.

Bit of a rough night, but I held my own in a cell with some clown from Padiham who thought he was top boy but I soon sorted him out.

BOOM - CRASH - WHOLLOP!!! You've have just met the BNU's.

I managed to fashion a crude tattoo needle from a plastic spoon I found and I've left our six-fingered friend with a new tattoo on his forehead which says "Copper Dragon is my gay lover!"

Ha Ha !!!!

Right, must dash, there's Dibble everywhere and I 'm getting some funny looks posting this sat in a bush outside a primary school in the remnants of a paper overall which is covered in goose grease.

Proud to be a member of the Bolton Ultras Massive.

Up the BUM !!!!!

123 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 12:22

scottjames30

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Hide low , until the big meeting tonight, i'll have one of my soldiers send some chicken out to you, and some goose fat.

The Big meeting still goes ahead tonight, behind the bike sheds.

I have a plan on how to finish off that six fingered dragon, once and for all.

If we get compromised, destroy the map and tell the police nothing, they will be looking out for us tonight, we need to use stealth, maybe we all get our Ghillie suit on for tonight's mission.

Ultra's until we die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :gun:

124 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 13:16

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Good to know Bread got out. I knew they wouldn't be able to hold him. I had a rough journey home myself,chased by 9 stray dogs and a Chinese chef. Turns out the dogs were after me,but the Chef was after the dogs. Must make a note not to frequent his takeaway in the future. Up the BUM. Magoo's gonna love this.

125 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 13:47

scottjames30

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Big Wolf to White Sheep, do you copy, repeat do you copy.

The Rembrandt is in place, repeat the Rembrandt is in place.

Harmenszoom Van Rijn walks the plank, repeat Harmenszoom Van Rijn walks the plank.

126 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:06

Reebok_Rebel

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Right lads, stop the fucking about.

I've been doing a lot of work behind the scenes for tonight's visit of our friends from the shit dump.

I've been speaking to Harry 'the bear' Biggles-Elliot, I've confirmed he is the Blackpool firms top boy.

Post match plans are that its going to go off outside Scotts bar, I want as many of our lads there, please start leaving 5 mins before the final whistle to ensure the numbers are good.

I will meet every member myself personally before the match outside Hollywood bowl at 1830, you will be handed a pack of calling cards with 'Congratulations, you have just met the Bolton ultras' along with the obligatory British rail and stone island logo's.

Police will be out in force today lads, so for your own protection, cover your faces with your scarfs and wear a hat, no club colors are to be worn.

Tonight's the night lads! COYWM!  :flog: 

127 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:08

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Can we still wear goose fat?

128 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:31

Sluffy

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Admin
Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

129 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:35

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Sorry for having my walkie-talkie off last night, I ended up coming across a girl behind bargain booze where she gave me a bottle of Lambrini and a fag and she ended up straddling me on top of the bins.

We then went to Dominoes for a pizza where we shared a meat feast with a cheesy sausage crust and some chicken dippers with a sweet chili dip!  Shocked

130 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:41

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

131 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:43

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.
I will happily take a spanking!

P.S I'm coming in my Batman outfit tonight! Razz

132 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 14:49

boltonbonce

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
If Magoo turns up as Robin I'm away to my bed. I'm not greasing up to be made a fool of. This is a serious business! Bread went through hell last night,show some respect.[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

133 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 15:02

Sluffy

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Admin
Is Bread still locked up?

Are we a man down?


[Author - Not Sluffy]

134 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 15:40

scottjames30

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

I'm going to wear a green Borat costume, later, will you rub a load goose fat all over my back, then if I get caught they won't be able to hold me down that way, i'll wiggle away, like an otter.

135 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 15:43

karlypants

avatar
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

I'm going to wear a green Borat costume, later, will you rub a load goose fat all over my back, then if I get caught they won't be able to hold me down that way, i'll wiggle away, like an otter.
Mankini Scott?

If so good choice, your bum cheeks will be able to breathe better when running from PC Plod and will also give you extra cooling.

You could also use it as a weapon if need be by taking it off and strangling someone!

136 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:08

Reebok_Rebel

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
If the police see this our cover is broken.

I'm going dressed as a conventional football hooligan. The reason I am is because if the fuzz have seen this, they will be out looking for a bunch of people in bizarre fancy dress covered in grease.

Scottie, if this was your plan - well done pal, you will go far.

We can all have a good scrap, free from the constraints of them bastards with the batons, while our 'decoys' get arrested.

137 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:47

Guest


Guest
Fucking "decoys"....?

I got lifted last night by the Five-Oh, spent the entire night knocking shit out of a dingle in a cramped cell, had to escape (on my own, without any help from The Firm, I might add) and have spent the whole day trying to get home, so I can re-apply my grease and get ready for another night of mayhem and carnage tonight.

And you call me a fucking "decoy"......?

Not sure this Firm's got the right mind-set for me.........

138 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:51

Sluffy

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Admin
Are you going to start a rival Ultra Bolton Nuts (UBN) faction then Bread?

If so will they be fighting the donkey lashers, the Dingle Suicide Squad or even the Bolton Nut Ultras (BNU) tonight?

139 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:53

Reebok_Rebel

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Breaders, your a valuable member of the firm, I was terribly busy last night and by the time I heard about this you had already got out. I swear if i would have heard about it earlier, I would have been in attendance.

I will be having a word with Scottie, as my 2IC I left him in charge and this happened. He's a good lad, just needs to keep an eye on his minions a bit better.

140 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:53

Reebok_Rebel

avatar
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:Are you going to start a rival Ultra Bolton Nuts (UBN) faction then Bread?

If so will they be fighting the donkey lashers, the Dingle Suicide Squad or even the Bolton Nut Ultras (BNU) tonight?

If he does this, I would consider it mutiny.

He would have to be punished.

141 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:54

karlypants

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:Breaders,  your a valuable member of the firm, I was terribly busy last night and by the time I heard about this you had already got out. I swear if i would have heard about it earlier, I would have been in attendance.

I will be having a word with Scottie, as my 2IC I left him in charge and this happened. He's a good lad, just needs to keep an eye on his minions a bit better.

Rebel, you were laying an egg weren't you...you big chicken...at least I had a valuable excuse of knobbing someone behind Bargain Booze...

142 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:57

Guest


Guest
I think I need a "sit down" like they do in The Sopranos, Sluff.

I don't want to be disrespectful to the BNU, but I resent the suggestion that all that hard work me and Bonce put in last night isn't being viewed by other aspects of the leadership as "proper hooliganism."

And they still owe me for the massive cake tins / tin baths that I had to buy.

No, I'm not suggesting a split from the BNU at this stage, but I have some serious questions which need answers...........

Where are we going as a mob?

What are our hooligan KPI's?

What's our Mission Statement?

Have we got "Investors in People" accrediatation and if not, what are we doing to try and achieve it?

That kind of stuff.

143 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 16:59

scottjames30

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I tried to help bread but bonce was naked trying to hump my leg, i couldnt move.

144 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:07

Reebok_Rebel

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Here are the answers to your questions...  

Where are we going as a mob? - Right to the top my friend. Under my fair but hard management style and Scott as my 2IC and 'enforcer' plus the utilization of all available media resources, we can be bigger than the GSE before the season is completed.

What are our hooligan KPI's? - Our KPI's will be measured retrospectively, based chiefly on the number of injuries we inflict on rival firms, This information will be combined with numbers of both firms and a percentage figure should emerge. I aim to have a Key Performance Indicator quotient of around 75% by the end of the season.

What's our Mission Statement? - BNU - "we are going to fuck you up, We fear no firm"

Have we got "Investors in People" accreditation and if not, what are we doing to try and achieve it? - Great concept, but im afraid our activities would be considered 'legally dubious' at best, Thus IIP would not consider us for accreditation. plus remuneration is not forthcoming as we are more of a 'band of brothers' than an actual company with the credentials that are a basic prerequisite for IIP accreditation.



Last edited by Reebok_Rebel on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:13; edited 1 time in total

145 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:09

scottjames30

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I know where the Donkey lashers will Be tonight; we'll hide behind Scotts bar, then when i say charge we will give it to them that hard, Magoo will think that its his birthday.

I want to hear your war screams.

146 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:10

Reebok_Rebel

avatar
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:I know where the Donkey lashers will Be tonight; we'll hide behind Scotts bar, then when i say charge we will give it to them that hard, Magoo will think that its his birthday.

I want to hear your war screams.

Good Idea scott.

you do know that the 2 'top boys' have to lead the fight - you ready for this? we have to have each others backs.

147 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:12

Guest


Guest
Fair enough.

Count me (still) in.

For now...........

But can we please have some SMART objectives for tonight's rumble?

If I'm being assessed on it and it counts towards my end of fighting-season review score, I want my objectives laid out in black and white.

Just like any Newcastle fans we come across!!!

Up the BUM!!!

148 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:13

wanderlust

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:

Have we got "Investors in People" accreditation and if not, what are we doing to try and achieve it? - Great concept, but im afraid our activities would be considered 'legally dubious' at best, Thus IIP would not consider us for accreditation.

Can't see why not. Everyone is consulted, gets to have their input and it's documented. All we need to do is send off a couple of squaddies for some tactical firearms training and they'll be queuing up to give us a certificate for around 700 quid.
From there it's ISO 9001:2008 and the world's our lobster.

149 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:14

Sluffy

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Admin
What trade union do we need to be affiliated too?

And as anyone received a contract from the BNU yet?

Who is our shop steward?

150 Re: Bolton Nut Ultras. on Tue Mar 25 2014, 17:16

scottjames30

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Too right, im going to shock them , by running at them with a 15 inch dildo and smacking the biggest member right across the cheeks, they'll be in too much shock to do anything, thats when You come in.

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