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Sorry, no speaky da lingo, mate.......

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wanderlust
Angry Dad
gloswhite
boltonbonce
Sluffy
Natasha Whittam
scottjames30
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bwfc71

bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Natasha Whittam wrote:
bwfc71 wrote:a mate of mine who is English but his wife is Dutch and their 2 children are 1 English and 1 Dutch. 

How did they decide which child would be English and which one Dutch?

Their eldest as born in England when they lived in England then they moved to The Netherlands and their youngest was born in The Netherlands, and now they all live in England again!!!

bwfc71

bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Breadman wrote:Right, that's it....I'm voting UKIP and going to church from now on.........

But I draw the line at supporting Chorley.

Sorry, but as a Christian you DO have to support Chorley - that's why I am an atheist!

wanderlust

wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I'd vote UKIP but their policies are not at all Christian.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse



An atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all that the
"accidents" that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he
said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards
him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
and saw the grizzly was closing.
Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He
looked again and the bear was even closer.
His heart was pounding and he tried to run faster. He tripped and fell
to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but the bear was right
over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw
strike him.
At that instant the atheist cried, "Oh my God...!"
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky,
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others that I don't exist
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical to
ask to be religious after all these years, but perhaps you could make
the bear religious?"
"Very well" said the voice. The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed.

..and then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together
and bowed its head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to
receive, I am truly thankful..."

Numpty 28723

Numpty 28723
Andy Walker
Andy Walker

A family from Bolton go on holiday to Benidorm and order some food. The father, thinking his pie is lacking in gravy, calls the waiter over saying "ast tha Bisto fort pah?" and the waiter says in a southern English accent, "I'm sorry, mate, I don't speak Spanish."

Bolton Nuts


Admin

How do u give a vote to a post? I want to give amos a down vote, he deserves it.

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