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The dreaded snip...

+13
Cajunboy
gloswhite
finlaymcdanger
okocha
Reebok Trotter
Sluffy
boltonbonce
karlypants
rammywhite
wanderlust
Bread2.0
Norpig
Bwfc1958
17 posters

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31The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 15:09

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

whats true? The bit about 58 being young or me being a has-been?  Very Happy

32The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 15:17

xmiles

xmiles
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha

I had the snip years ago. Local anaesthetic. No pain but you are aware of some sensation. Walked out immediately afterwards and went home. Some discomfort for a couple of days but no adverse effects at all.

We had two kids, were sure we didn't want any more and I agreed with my wife that it wasn't a good idea for her to keep taking the pill indefinitely. No regrets.

33The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 15:51

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Norpig wrote:whats true? The bit about 58 being young or me being a has-been?  Very Happy

I think you've still got some years left in you. Keep dreaming the dream, one day they might promote you to bog washer.

34The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 15:57

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

a man can dream Nat  Very Happy

35The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:00

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Bwfc1958 wrote:
Reebok Trotter wrote:I had my nuts nobbled back in 97. We decided we didn't want anymore kids and that was that. I had a local at Altrincham General and my father-in-law drove me home afterwards. I had it done on a Friday and I was back in work on Monday. I recommended the op to a work colleague who had two daughters and didn't want anymore, so he took my advice and got booked in. ( I wont tell you what happened until after you have been neutered 58! )
Make sure you take some earphones so you can listen to music while your knackers are knitted. I didn't and I wished I had. 
I have been a seedless Jaffa for twenty years now and it never did me any harm.
Paint me a picture RT. From walking in there to walking out. Also, can you feel anything whilst it's happening?
Okay..here goes! I was absolutely dreading the whole process. I'm not squeemish and I don't mind the sight of blood as long as it's not my own. I was almost forty so further children were not an option. On the day I drove to Altrincham General with my father-in-law in tow to drive me home. I had opted for a local simply because I had a work colleague who couldn't face being awake so he had a general and they put him to sleep. From what he said, they butchered him and he was off work for a week.
Anyway I was greeted by a very pretty young nurse who told me she would be assisting Doctor Muckygee and she gave me a hospital gown and pointed to a cubicle to get changed. Shortly after the Asian Doc introduced himself and I was led to the operating theatre. Any amorous or erotic thoughts of getting your wedding tackle out in front of a pretty nurse are non-existent. The thought of the op makes most men adopt the maggotcock position! Anyway the Doc examined my plums to make sure they were both healthy and then he told me he was going to inject my nads with anaesthetic to numb them. This is the worst bit because the needle bloody stings as it enters the fruit of your plums. It's pretty much the same as when you go to the dentist and he injects your gums. Once the novocaine has kicked in then you don't feel a thing. Anyway within five minutes my nads were numb and he then used a scalpel to cut into my gonads to locate my tubes. You can feel what he is doing but it is painless and all over in a few minutes. My only regret was not taking some music to listen to, which they advise you to do. While you are lying on the operating table you can see everything reflected in the silver theatre lights and I wished I had brought some music to listen to instead of listening to my balls being butchered.
Anyway, to cut a long story short I was done and dusted within 15 minutes. The stitches dissolved within a week and I have never had any problems whatsoever. You will receive two small bottles which you must return to the hospital with a sperm sample. If you ignore this request they will keep badgering you until you do because until those two separate samples have been analysed they have no way of knowing if the op was a success.
In my case, the doctor was very competent and had obviously carried out the operation hundreds of times. However, a work colleague, who I recommended wasn't so lucky! I don't want to put you off what is a relatively simple procedure but just occasionally things don't always run smoothly, as my mate can testify!



Last edited by Reebok Trotter on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:04; edited 1 time in total

36The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:04

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

thats put me off for definite, i don't want anyone injecting my balls while i'm still awake

37The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:06

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

No way around it I'm afraid! It stings like hell but it is bearable. The alternative is being put to sleep which generally involves an overnight stay in hospital.

38The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:10

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I can remember the good doctor telling me that the only side effects would be a bit of pain and some swelling for a couple of days. I asked him if he could give me something for the pain but leave the swelling! Sadly he didn't get my little joke.

39The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:15

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

okocha wrote:I think Trotter must have had his balls injected with anaesthetic, given his movement on the pitch....

i wonder if the syringe was filled with Bromide by mistake?  Very Happy

40The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:19

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!

I'm in two minds. On the one hand it doesn't sound too bad but on the other hand having someone inject my bollocks and take to them with a scalpel just makes me feel faint. I feel a bit more confident knowing there's a few on here who've had it done with no problems. However, whether you explain your mate's story or not, it's quite clear something went seriously awry RT. You might as well bloody tell us anyway!

41The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:30

Bread2.0

Bread2.0
Andy Walker
Andy Walker

Just so we're clear, they don't actually chop your balls up with a scalpel.

They make a small incision in your scrotum and then snip the tubes which serve as conduits for your "fluid" between Boggers and Scott and your Whittam.

It really is minor surgery.

42The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:33

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!

Bread2.0 wrote:Just so we're clear, they don't actually chop your balls up with a scalpel.

They make a small incision in your scrotum and then snip the tubes which serve as conduits for your "fluid" between Boggers and Scott and your Whittam.

It really is minor surgery.
I really wish you wouldn't put Boggers, Scott and Whittam in the same sentence as my scrotum.

43The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:35

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Don'y worry 58. I've performed the op many times with only a few mishaps. I'll see you right.
Get in touch with the bird at my surgery thingy,and she'll stick you on the list.

44The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:38

xmiles

xmiles
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha

It was a long time ago but honestly the injections were not that bad. The oddest thing about the whole procedure is that you can feel them pulling the vas deferens as they cut and seal it but it isn't actually painful just a bit weird.

45The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:39

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!

boltonbonce wrote:Don'y worry 58. I've performed the op many times with only a few mishaps. I'll see you right.
Get in touch with the bird at my surgery thingy,and she'll stick you on the list.
The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Tumblr_kxa5vtEhlo1qzo4t5o1_400

46The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:41

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!

xmiles wrote:It was a long time ago but honestly the injections were not that bad. The oddest thing about the whole procedure is that you can feel them pulling the vas deferens as they cut and seal it but it isn't actually painful just a bit weird.
How many people in the room though? Seems a bit weird having a bunch of people looking at your meat and two veg.

47The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:52

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Bwfc1958 wrote:I'm in two minds. On the one hand it doesn't sound too bad but on the other hand having someone inject my bollocks and take to them with a scalpel just makes me feel faint. I feel a bit more confident knowing there's a few on here who've had it done with no problems. However, whether you explain your mate's story or not, it's quite clear something went seriously awry RT. You might as well bloody tell us anyway!
What happened to my mate was a freak set of circumstances but don't say I didn't warn you. I recommended the op to him and told him exactly what would happen. He also had the same GP as me and he was put at ease after chatting to him. They also warn you of the pitfalls of divorce and the possibility you may wish to remarry and have further children. Ultimately the decision is down to you.
We both lived in Urmston at the time and my mate opted for a local the same as me. He was extremely nervous and dreading the whole business. When his appointment came through it was at Trafford General Hospital in Urmston less than a mile from where he lived. On the day he turns up and is met by the female nurse  who tells him he is second in line. He is sat in the waiting room when out comes the nurse and her white smock is covered in blood looking like a butchers apron! My mate faints in the waiting room! When he comes round the nurse is on the phone to her husband asking him to bring her a fresh smock from home as there has been a slight accident! She then tells my mate that he has absolutely nothing to worry but basically the Doctor carrying out the operation that day is a trainee Doctor from Spain and this is is first day carrying out the vasectomy procedure! That didn't fill my mate with confidence! Anyway a few minutes later in walks another work colleague with a clean nurses smock! It turns out that the nurse was married to one of our work colleagues as well! Now my mate wasn't keen that a colleagues wife had seen his todger especially as he was a quivering wreck and she would no doubt tell her husband what a wimp he was when she got home that night.
She kindly explained to my mate that all that had happened was that when the good doctor was cutting the patients nutsack with his scalpel he had nicked a blood vessel which resulted in a blood spurt which landed on her top. As there were a number of operations that day she couldn't possibly wear a blood stained top as it wasn't good for business! 
Shortly after the first patient comes out and the way he's walking gingerly makes my mate think the bloke has stuck his Todger in a blender by mistake. 
Armed with a clean white top my mate is summonsed to go in and by this time he's a quivering wreck!
It gets worse but I have to nip out on a wee job. I'll be back later but please don't be put off by what I have told you so far! Very Happy

48The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:53

okocha

okocha
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf

I gather you can opt to have the procedure under hypnosis, 58. Perhaps that will calm you sufficiently.... pale

49The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:56

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Bwfc1958 wrote:
xmiles wrote:It was a long time ago but honestly the injections were not that bad. The oddest thing about the whole procedure is that you can feel them pulling the vas deferens as they cut and seal it but it isn't actually painful just a bit weird.
How many people in the room though? Seems a bit weird having a bunch of people looking at your meat and two veg. 
Nobody sees your tackle in the waiting room! You are all fully dressed, no different than visiting the dentist. You don't get undressed until you go into the operating theatre and the only two people who get to see your crown jewels are the Doc and the nurse. Just two and that's it.

50The dreaded snip...  - Page 3 Empty Re: The dreaded snip... Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:58

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Reebok Trotter wrote:
Bwfc1958 wrote:
xmiles wrote:It was a long time ago but honestly the injections were not that bad. The oddest thing about the whole procedure is that you can feel them pulling the vas deferens as they cut and seal it but it isn't actually painful just a bit weird.
How many people in the room though? Seems a bit weird having a bunch of people looking at your meat and two veg. 
Nobody sees your tackle in the waiting room! You are all fully dressed, no different than visiting the dentist. You don't get undressed until you go into the operating theatre and the only two people who get to see your crown jewels are the Doc and the nurse. Just two and that's it.
Bloody hell. So that's it.

Wondered why I got funny looks as I picked out my magazine.

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