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Frog Through My Letterbox

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1Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:09

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Someone has posted a dead frog through my letterbox.

I kid you not.

Was it one of you twats?

I arrived home this evening to find the slimy thing on my doormat.

Is this some sort of poor man's threat? Could they not afford a horses head?

The most annoying thing is I have no idea why I have a dead frog in my hallway. I hate mysteries.

Should I call the cops?

2Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:12

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Maybe it’s because your a C U Next Tuesday. Very Happy

3Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:15

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@BoltonTillIDie wrote:Maybe it’s because your a C U Next Tuesday. Very Happy

Very Happy

4Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:16

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Nat I would much prefer a dead frog posted through the letter box than someone’s dick as if it’s some glory hole!



Last edited by karlypants on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:17; edited 1 time in total

5Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:17

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@BoltonTillIDie wrote:Maybe it’s because your a C U Next Tuesday. Very Happy

I'm sorry, I don't speak dickhead code.

It's a dead frog. In my penthouse. Show some fucking respect.

6Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:18

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@BoltonTillIDie wrote:Maybe it’s because your a C U Next Tuesday. Very Happy

I'm sorry, I don't speak dickhead code.

It's a dead frog. In my penthouse. Show some fucking respect.

Have you pissed next door off? Like not inviting them to one of your orgies perhaps? Very Happy

7Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:20

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Maybe it’s cecil...

8Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:30

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Sluffy's not been on for a while. Did he drive up to Preston?

9Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:37

MartinBWFC

MartinBWFC
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Maybe a disgruntled employee of Whittam international, these Eastern Europeans have no morals.

10Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:43

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
If you didn’t like the person who lived there then wouldn’t you throw a turd through the letter box instead of a dead frog?

11Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 20:59

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@MartinBWFC wrote:Maybe a disgruntled employee of Whittam international, these Eastern Europeans have no morals.

They've never been the same since I put a stop to Sex Club.

12Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:09

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Pity it wasn't a toad. You could have compared warts.

13Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:18

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:Pity it wasn't a toad. You could have compared warts.

Laughing

14Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:30

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Once again the Nuts community mocks my predicament.

15Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:46

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Nat if the frog isn’t in too bad shape, why not make a French soup with it?

16Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:50

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@karlypants wrote:Nat if the frog isn’t in too bad shape, why not make a French soup with it?
Or kiss it. It might turn into a prince.

17Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:51

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Or cut the legs off and give them to Lloyd Dyer.

18Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:53

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:
@karlypants wrote:Nat if the frog isn’t in too bad shape, why not make a French soup with it?
Or kiss it. It might turn into a prince.

True! I guess it beats being a ladyboy with wonky tits!

19Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Mon Oct 08 2018, 21:53

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:Or cut the legs off and give them to Lloyd Dyer.

Very Happy

20Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 14:32

Angry Dad

Angry Dad
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
Some years ago an envelope was on my door mat i opened it inside was a dead budgie with a note pinned to it, it said you like birds so go fuck this one.

21Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 15:02

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Angry Dad wrote:Some years ago an envelope was on my door mat i opened it inside was a dead budgie with a note pinned to it, it said you like birds so go fuck this one.

Been shagging someone’s Mrs AD? Laughing

22Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:04

DEANO82

DEANO82
Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@BoltonTillIDie wrote:Maybe it’s because your a C U Next Tuesday. Very Happy

I'm sorry, I don't speak dickhead code.

It's a dead frog. In my penthouse. Show some fucking respect.
I agree. Think we should hold a minute's silence for the poor little fella.

23Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:14

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Just arrived home to find a squirrel stuck in my letterbox.

This is getting quite weird.

How the fuck do you catch a squirrel in the first place?

I am calling the police after tea.

24Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:19

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Wait till the end of the week in case you get any more delivered then box all the animals up and send them to Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall as he likes cooking road kill!

25Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:20

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Glad you think this is funny.

I can't get the squirrel's head out of the letterbox.

26Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:31

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
How bigs it head ffs?

27Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:34

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Boggersbelief wrote:How bigs it head ffs?

That's the problem you have with this?

I have a slim letterbox. Whoever did the deed put it through feet first but the head stopped it going all the way through.

28Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:42

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Natasha Whittam wrote:Glad you think this is funny.

I can't get the squirrel's head out of the letterbox.

Maybe you need to open your flap more to get it out?

29Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:51

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@Boggersbelief wrote:How bigs it head ffs?

That's the problem you have with this?

I have a slim letterbox. Whoever did the deed put it through feet first but the head stopped it going all the way through.

What if you receive a chunky letter?

30Frog Through My Letterbox Empty Re: Frog Through My Letterbox on Tue Oct 09 2018, 17:55

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Boggersbelief wrote:What if you receive a chunky letter?

Yes, this is just the time to debate my postage habits.

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