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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI

Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI

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331Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:23

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
My favourite poem by the legendary John Cooper Clarke  Very Happy

Like a nightclub in the morning, you're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shithouse, you're clean round the bend
You give me the horrors
Too bad to be true
All of my tomorrows
Are lousy 'cause of you
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You're certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag
Do us all a favor, here, wear this polythene bag

You're like a dose of scabies
I've got you under my skin
You make life a fairytale
Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive
I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive
You've got this slippery quality
It makes me think of phlegm
And a dual personality
I hate both of them

You're bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away
Like a death a birthday party
You ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat-our Smartie
You're no use to anyone
Like the shadow of the guillotine
On a dead consumptive's face
Speaking as an outsider
What do you think of the human race?

You went to a progressive psychiatrist
He recommended suicide
Before scratching your bad name off his list
And pointing the way outside

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart
You're heading for a breakdown
Better pull yourself apart

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss
Your attitudes are platitudes
Just make me wanna piss

What kind of creature bore you
Was it some kind of bat?
They can't find a good word for you
But I can

Twat!

332Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:29

okocha

okocha
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Norpig, that's really good! Very Happy Watched him on WILTY the other day......good on that too, though somewhat in the shade of Lee Mack and David Mitchell Smile

333Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:32

okocha

okocha
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
@boltonbonce wrote:Very nice. We need more poetry on here. I'll add one by Stevie Smith. It reminds me of someone.

The Face.

There is a face I know too well,
A face I dread to see,
So vain it is, so eloquent
Of all futility.

It is a human face that hides
A monkey soul within,
That bangs about, that beats a gong,
That makes a horrid din.

Sometimes the monkey soul will sprawl
Athwart the human eyes,
And peering forth, will flesh its pads,
And utter social lies.

So wretched is this face, so vain,
So empty and forlorn,
You well may say that better far
This face had not been born.
Excellent, Bonce. Not hard to guess who you have in mind Smile

334Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:38

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@okocha wrote:
Excellent, Bonce. Not hard to guess who you have in mind Smile
Indeed. Norpig's JCC poem is also a favourite. Best when read by the man himself.

335Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:42

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
@boltonbonce wrote:
@okocha wrote:
Excellent, Bonce. Not hard to guess who you have in mind Smile
Indeed. Norpig's JCC poem is also a favourite. Best when read by the man himself.

336Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:58

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
Here's others from JCC -





337Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 04 2020, 16:18

okocha

okocha
Andy Walker
Andy Walker

338Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Dec 05 2020, 18:25

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
 6 December-SUNDAY
2.20 Southwell - Handicap (Class 4) 1m 


DUTCH DECOY will be  testing his legs.

339Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Dec 05 2020, 19:04

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Cajunboy wrote: 6 December-SUNDAY
2.20 Southwell - Handicap (Class 4) 1m 


DUTCH DECOY will be  testing his legs.
I'll be taking a look at that.
11/2 with Ladbrokes.

340Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Dec 06 2020, 14:40

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:
I'll be taking a look at that.
11/2 with Ladbrokes.
Finished 4th @ 14/1. I had a little tickle @ 18/1. Creditable effort in the circumstances.

341Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Dec 07 2020, 15:38

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
Hacker Des Places has been declared to run in the following race:

Tuesday 8 December
12.35 Fontwell - Juvenile Hurdle (Class 4) 2m1½f

There are seven runners and Harry Cobden rides.

Paul Nicholls says Hacker Des Places is in good form at home, and he feels he has improved slightly for his first run in Britain. Paul feels Nassalam will be very hard to beat, but thinks Hacker Des Places will run well. Paul hopes Hacker Des Places settles before and during the race, unlike last time at Wincanton, in which case he has a good chance of chasing Nassalam home. 

342Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Tue Dec 08 2020, 12:08

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Non runner.

343Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Tue Dec 08 2020, 16:38

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Hackerdesplaces HACKER DES PLACES

Please note Hacker Des Places is a non-runner at Fontwell today (Tuesday 8 December) as he has not eaten up overnight. He will therefore not run today.

Probably Hay Fever.

344Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Wed Dec 09 2020, 21:34

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

345Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Wed Dec 09 2020, 21:36

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
:rofl:
Oh my God!!

346Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Dec 14 2020, 08:47

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

347Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Wed Dec 16 2020, 10:41

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I suppose everyone needs a hobby. Shocked

348Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Wed Dec 16 2020, 16:30

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Vic is still ticked off.

349Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 18 2020, 07:20

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Got up in the middle of the night feeling the need for a glass of water. Couldn't be bothered going downstairs, so had a quick gulp from the bathroom tap. Bathroom tap water is usually vile, and it was, but did the job.
As I went back to bed it struck me that it was the first drink from a tap I'd had in around 30 years. I just stopped doing it way back in the day.
Drinking from a tap is a particularly 'boy' thing, and something my mates and I did after any game of footy, but for some reason you reach an age when it's just not the done thing.
A bit like peeing up the wall to see who can get the highest. Sadly, my main peeing problem these days is stopping it dribbling on to my slippers.

350Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 18 2020, 11:57

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Can't seem to get a decent piece of parkin around here. I might have to have a go at making my own.

351Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Fri Dec 18 2020, 18:52

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Still ticked off.

352Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Dec 19 2020, 21:14

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Sandwiches for sale in London, 1972.
Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 EpmZnWoXEAEOo9r?format=jpg&name=medium

353Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Dec 21 2020, 14:46

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Vick is ticked off again, and with good reason.

354Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Tue Dec 22 2020, 16:24

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Just remembering old times.

355Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Dec 26 2020, 17:10

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
Cajun Stable News.


Sunday 27th

WETHERBY

12.25      GYLO

1.35        HACKER DES PLACES

356Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sat Dec 26 2020, 17:50

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Cajunboy wrote:Cajun Stable News.


Sunday 27th

WETHERBY

12.25      GYLO

1.35        HACKER DES PLACES
Ta. They're into my notebook.

357Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Sun Dec 27 2020, 15:22

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Gylo was a non runner. Hacker Des Places won @ 6/4

358Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Dec 28 2020, 14:18

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
alva D'Auge has been declared to run in the following race: 

Tuesday 29 December 
2.05 Newbury - Handicap Hurdle (Class 2) 2m4½f

There are seven runners and Angus Cheleda (7) rides.


Looks a tricky race to predict, but then they all are.




Calva D'Auge is a tough little horse with a big heart.

359Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Mon Dec 28 2020, 17:08

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Cajunboy wrote:alva D'Auge has been declared to run in the following race: 

Tuesday 29 December 
2.05 Newbury - Handicap Hurdle (Class 2) 2m4½f

There are seven runners and Angus Cheleda (7) rides.


Looks a tricky race to predict, but then they all are.




Calva D'Auge is a tough little horse with a big heart.
5/2 favourite with Ladbrokes. Good chance.

360Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI - Page 12 Empty Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VI on Tue Dec 29 2020, 14:13

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:
5/2 favourite with Ladbrokes. Good chance.
Won at 5/2. Toughed it out when the chips were down.

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