1) Motorbikes on roads. Just fuck off you weaving bastards.
2) Horses on roads. If I rode my dog on the road and let it shit everywhere there would be uproar. Do the same on a horse and it's perfectly acceptable. Wankers.
3) Mobile phones. They are taking over your life. Who gives a shite that your phone cost £600 and can wipe your arse and cook you dinner. It's a fucking phone at the end of the day.
4) Men who wear baseball caps inside. No, you don't look cool you look like a twat.
5) People who don't wash their hands after using the toilet. Dirty bastards.
6) Kleenezee and Betterware representatives. If you post your shit through my door it will be binned. I don't care that it comes out of your commission. If I wanted to buy a tuppaware sandwich box I'd buy it at Asda for a fraction of your price.
7) Drivers who don't acknowledge you when you've let them out or let them pass.
Drivers who don't acknowledge you acknowledging them for letting you out or past.
9) People who think the number of Facebook "friends" you have is important.
10) People who follow other people on Twitter. Again, you only have one life why waste it on this shit?
11) People who wear t-shirts with 'Hollister' or 'Jack Wills' in massive letters on the front.
12) Big boned people in tight t-shirts or skirts. No one wants to see your flab, get yourself measured in Debenhams and buy clothes that fit.
13) Men who wear V-neck t-shirts where the 'v' stretches down to their navel.
14) Skinny jeans on men.
15) Kids that kick the seat behind you when at the match/cinema etc. Control your kids or I'll slap them.
16) People who can't arrive on time.
17) People who walk slowly on the pavement but you can't get past them.
18) People who sit right next to you in the cinema or on public transport even when there are loads of empty seats. I don't want you near me, I hate you.
19) Anyone who owns a Pitbull.
20) People who take their laptop everywhere.
21) People who have to check their e-mail every 20 seconds.
22) When I'm in Sainsburys doing my weekly shop and the slag behind the till asks me if I want any bags. No love, I'm going to juggle my shopping home.
23) Twats who overtake you on the motorway then pull in front of you and drive slower than you. Why??
24) Wankers who don't stop at zebra crossings. One day I'm going to cross and let you kill me just so you have to spend 5 years in prison. Twats.
25) People that use more than one card at a cashpoint. After you've used the first card get to the back of the queue you bellend.
26) People who use cashpoints to check their balance. How dare you slow me down doing something you could have done online or over the phone. Bastards.
27) Taxi drivers who ask you how to get to your destination.
28) Foreign call centres. I'm not racist, I just want to speak to someone who understands proper English.
29) Twats that park in disabled bays. If I catch you, you'll soon be able to do it legally.
30) People that cut in front of you at the bar then claim they were there first. When this happens I inform the bouncers that the queue jumper touched me up.
31) Arriving at a car park and realising you have no change.
32) Arriving at a car park to find no empty spaces but some twat in an expensive Audi has parked across two bays.