True (funny) Story

Do you have one?

I can think of a few... I'll start with this one about my Dad.


Getting on a bit now my Dad was having some issues with his ears. On the way back home from some ear related appointment at the hospital everything seemed to be fine and everything was loud and clear. He decided to pop in Tesco for some bits. When he got to the checkout though, he couldn't make out something the checkout girl was trying to say.
"sorry, what did you  say love?" 
So she said it again. He coked his head slightly and said, "I'm so sorry what did you say?" 
She tried again and appeared to be saying it louder but he still couldn't hear her. "I'm really sorry but I've just come from the hospital about my ears, I can't hear a word you're saying." 
At which point she smiled, grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a little note to my Dad...
It said...

Spoiler:

Nice one..

  Good one that Biggie!

This sadly happened to me. Staying at my Grandparents house one weekend the 12 year old me decided to do some rooting in the living room cupboards. After a while I hit pay dirt in 2 tubes of mint sweets. I made myself scarce and with the aid of a pile of comics I had an enjoyable afternoon reading and guzzling. Having scoffed the mints and hearing my Grandad coming up the stairs I began feeling a little guilty. Guilt turned to horror when he popped his head round the door and said "Have you seen my laxative mints?" Apparently no more than 6 should have been eaten in a 24 hour period,and I'd eaten 20 in forty minutes! Needless to say I spent the rest of the afternoon at the hospital. The evening was whiled away in the smallest room in the house.I no longer eat mints of any kind.

Lol. Are you shitting me bonce? Anyone else got any stories?

Not much of a story but I remember one day a good few years back when my mum spent the whole afternoon calling a company for something only to realise she was phoning the FAX machine number and not the telephone number.

She didn't even realise until I checked the numbers for her!

Karlypenis that was shit.

Freecycle.org Wigan.

Thought this was funny

[url=http://groups.freecycle.org/wiganfreecycle/posts/36291121/remains of burnt shed]http://groups.freecycle.org/wiganfreecycle/posts/36291121/remains%20of%20burnt%20shed[/url]

plz bring own spade as mine was in shed when burned down...

You've gotta be kidding me!

We had my grandmother, a lifelong cat lover/owner round for Sunday tea a few years back when our own cat jumped onto the sofa arm and began sniffing her clothes.

She's quite Victorian, my nan, so when she turned to the cat and asked in a warm voice, "can you smell my pussy?", she didn't know what she'd said to have everyone in hysterics.

doffcocker wrote:We had my grandmother, a lifelong cat lover/owner round for Sunday tea a few years back when our own cat jumped onto the sofa arm and began sniffing her clothes.

She's quite Victorian, my nan, so when she turned to the cat and asked in a warm voice, "can you smell my pussy?", she didn't know what she'd said to have everyone in hysterics.

  

Cracking!

Which reminds me... A couple of summers ago the mother in law turned to me and the mrs and said, "me and your dad can't on Sunday, we are having grandma over for a spit roast"