Your embarrassing knob stories

Spent the weekend at a posh hotel in the Lakes with a couple of mates. I decided to have a massage, bit pricey at £55 (I've had a "real" massage for much less) but I'm not going away this year so I thought I'd splash out.

So I'm sat in the reception area in a white robe and fluffy slippers and this fit woman walks up to me and tells me she's doing the massage as the girl I'd booked it with was feeling sick (hopefully not at the thought of touching my hairy back).

This woman is drop dead gorgeous, I could feel my stiffy getting going even as we took the short walk to the massage room. Anyway, I stripped off and lay face down on the table but as soon as she touched my back my love truncheon was doing all he could to stand to attention. Difficult when he was pressed up against the table.

So the woman starts massaging the bottom of my back and she's inches from my knob. I'm on the verge of premature ejaculation despite my knob being held down by my body weight. But I can't stand the pain anymore but I know if I turn over or get up she's going to see my whole 3 inches in all its glory. So the question was simple, do I break my dick or get barred from this hotel chain for life. I chose the second one.

I pretended to have cramp, but it was impossible to hide my erection. So I'm stood there with my knob high in the air and all this woman can say is have you thought of electrolysis for your back?

Has your penis ever let you down?

No Quent, my penis has never let me down.

My knob isn't really a knob - it's more like a baby's arm holding an apple.

Quent wrote:Spent the weekend at a posh hotel in the Lakes with a couple of mates. I decided to have a massage, bit pricey at £55 (I've had a "real" massage for much less) but I'm not going away this year so I thought I'd splash out.

So I'm sat in the reception area in a white robe and fluffy slippers and this fit woman walks up to me and tells me she's doing the massage as the girl I'd booked it with was feeling sick (hopefully not at the thought of touching my hairy back).

This woman is drop dead gorgeous, I could feel my stiffy getting going even as we took the short walk to the massage room. Anyway, I stripped off and lay face down on the table but as soon as she touched my back my love truncheon was doing all he could to stand to attention. Difficult when he was pressed up against the table.

So the woman starts massaging the bottom of my back and she's inches from my knob. I'm on the verge of premature ejaculation despite my knob being held down by my body weight. But I can't stand the pain anymore but I know if I turn over or get up she's going to see my whole 3 inches in all its glory. So the question was simple, do I break my dick or get barred from this hotel chain for life. I chose the second one.

I pretended to have cramp, but it was impossible to hide my erection. So I'm stood there with my knob high in the air and all this woman can say is have you thought of electrolysis for your back?

Has your penis ever let you down?

lol, been there matey. I once got a massage while on holiday in Bulgaria from two birds on the beach. To this day I'm convinced they were hookers, only cheaper.

A similar thing happened to me on holiday in Thailand. I ordered a ' private massage ' in my hotel room. A gorgeous Thai woman turned up and started massaging my back. After five minutes she asked me to turn over onto my back. Although my nether regions were covered with a towel when I turned over I discovered I had inherited a lovely deerstalker.

She then said, ' You want hand relief ? I replied , ' Yes, please.' She then disappeared into the bathroom and I assumed she was lubricating her hands. I lay there and closed my eyes but nothing happened. After five minutes I heard the bathroom door open and she called out to me, ' You finished now ?'