Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V

boltonbonce wrote:The Bake off drama continues.

Hadn't realised it ever started

This is a big chance for Brucie. Get in there my son.

Who needs Mel and Sue?

I've got the week off,which probably means I'll be doing one of three things.

  A. DIY.
  B. Wandering around the odder parts of Youtube.
  C. Walking.


A and C could land me back at A+E,and the mental scars from seeing Tony Bomboni on youtube are still pretty raw,so I might have to play it safe and catch up on my reading.
Then again,the kitchen is a big draw. I've had an urge to show people how easy it is to make some half decent Jaffa Cakes,and put Bread and his brown dollops to shame. 
This,of course,might be a mistake,but,how badly could it go?

If I manage it,I'll post a picture.
If I burn the house down,all bets are off.

Ooh, a Jaffa Cake-Off!

I likes it.

Mrs B's reaction to my dismal failure was the same as yours - Scorn, derision and a lot of laughing.

She's a better baker than me so she thought it'd be a doddle to knock some up and show me how useless I was.

But hers were just as bad as mine and we concluded that they are deceptively difficult to get right.

Have a go and post the pictures.

I like a challenge. I'll need a day alone.

Two hours to cook,and eight to clear up the mess.

A positive story,for once.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37394687

i saw this chap on NW tonight a few weeks ago, he could remember all the words from songs he sang years and years ago. He was much better than Brucie 

Norpig wrote:i saw this chap on NW tonight a few weeks ago, he could remember all the words from songs he sang years and years ago. He was much better than Brucie 

Brucie can do it all. You're going in my book with WGO. And a few others.

I'm boltonbonce wrote:

Norpig wrote:i saw this chap on NW tonight a few weeks ago, he could remember all the words from songs he sang years and years ago. He was much better than Brucie 

Brucie can do it all. You're going in my book with WGO. And a few others.

Brucie can't remember what day it is and what time his colostomy bag needs emptying now. Such a shame he used to be average at one time, it's a long way to fall

whatsgoingon wrote:

I'm boltonbonce wrote:

Norpig wrote:i saw this chap on NW tonight a few weeks ago, he could remember all the words from songs he sang years and years ago. He was much better than Brucie 

Brucie can do it all. You're going in my book with WGO. And a few others.

Brucie can't remember what day it is and what time his colostomy bag needs emptying now. Such a shame he used to be average at one time, it's a long way to fall

Right. I'm beefing up for a scrap.

This,I'm led to believe,is fashionable attire. She seems to be wearing her Dad's shirt and jacket.

You would though 

I'm a fashion icon.

I've seen people pointing at me in the street.

Ok,they sometimes perface it with 'That's him officer', but mainly it's my elegant attire.

boltonbonce wrote:I'm a fashion icon.

I've seen people pointing at me in the street.

Ok,they sometimes perface it with 'That's him officer', but mainly it's my elegant attire.

Now here's someone I'd point at. For all the wrong reasons.
It's London Fashion Week. Am I so out of touch,or does the bloke look a right nellie?

You're out of touch. I was wearing that exact same outfit today and my carer said I looked really nice.

Bwfc1958 wrote:You're out of touch. I was wearing that exact same outfit today and my carer said I looked really nice.

What's in the purse?

boltonbonce wrote:

Bwfc1958 wrote:You're out of touch. I was wearing that exact same outfit today and my carer said I looked really nice.

What's in the purse?

His dentures.

karlypants wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:

Bwfc1958 wrote:You're out of touch. I was wearing that exact same outfit today and my carer said I looked really nice.

What's in the purse?

His dentures.

Almost right. 

There are teeth in the purse but they are the teeth from my victims that I keep as a souvenir. So far I have 27. When I reach 30 I can put them on a string and wear them around my neck. 

What is Bruce Forsyths address?