I Love Gumtree

Natasha Whittam · 1 I Love Gumtree Sat Dec 29 2012, 20:28

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

I love Gumtree. Not that I'd ever buy anyone elses crap off there, but some of the adverts are just brilliant, particularly those by aspiring musicians.

Take this dickhead for example, his ad and photo is a work of pure genius:

the names is Crazy Jay I'm a starting out rap artist looking for work in Kent or London I am known of in the Southwark and Lewisham boroughs by my mates and their mates and they recon I could be the next Biggie . looking to do some work unpaid or paid to get my self out there more then happy to audition or meet people in the studio.

I Love Gumtree $(KGrHqF,!ikFCc30DeCnBQzdJKw5eQ~~48_79

Does anyone use Gumtree for anything else than for laughing at?

aaron_bwfc · 2 Re: I Love Gumtree Sat Dec 29 2012, 20:41

aaron_bwfc

Moderator

Posts : 6544
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 34
Location : Bolton

To be honest i've never even looked at Gumtree, looks like a place to go for a laugh though.

He may want to lose the whole looking like a cunt look before putting the advertisment and picture up.

The new Biggie eh? Who knew we had rappers visiting Bolton Nuts.

Sgt. Bash · 3 Re: I Love Gumtree Sat Dec 29 2012, 20:52

Sgt. Bash

Andy Walker

Posts : 1423
Join date : 2012-10-22

Natasha Whittam wrote:I love Gumtree. Not that I'd ever buy anyone elses crap off there

No, people usually sell much nicer crap on Ebay!

Boggersbelief · 4 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 11:50

Boggersbelief

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 13258
Join date : 2012-08-07
Age : 31
Location : Everywhere.

I don't know how he can't realise that, that is just embarrasing.

What an absolutely awful life he must lead..

Natasha Whittam · 5 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 12:32

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

In a moment of boredom last night I decided to reply to Crazy Jay:

Yo Crazy Jay, my name is Natasha D and I am a hip-hop music producer from Kentish Town. For a while now I've been looking for someone just like you to release some already written rap records that are sure to hit the top 10.

I have heard you could be the next Biggie. You do realise Biggie was a fat black man? Your photo suggests you are a skinny white dude but we can work with that. But we need some sort of angle for the media, middle class white rappers simply don't fit our image. Have you ever killed anyone? Taken part in a gang rape? Shagged a celebrity? Snorted cocaine off a hookers tits? We need something like this to create your hardcore image.

If you're interested get back to me with a bit more info about your style.

Natasha D

I got my reply within 12 hours:

Wordup Natasha D! Wow this sounds brilliant and just what im looking for. I know Biggie was a big black rapper but my friends and family say I have the same laidback flow. I'm not middle class, Im from the streets of Lewisham and have seen it all. I haven't killed anyone but am used to handling guns and blunts and shagging the odd hooker. I am defo the guy you are looking for, i look well ard like a proper rapper and have the rhymes to back it up. I could be massive.

Just penned some lyrics last night about a cheating girlfriend:

She fucked my friend so I don't need to pretend,
Take that bitch and slay her in a ditch,
I'll have her head on a stick, don't call me fick,
I'm crazy Jay and I can go all day.

What do you think?

I am thinking of my next reply...

Reebok Trotter · 6 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 12:37

Reebok Trotter

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 23694
Join date : 2012-01-02
Location : Broadmoor

I have never used Gumtree before and if this is the sort of shoite one comes across on there, I will just stick to buying other peoples tat from ebay.

Reebok Trotter · 7 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 12:47

Reebok Trotter

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 23694
Join date : 2012-01-02
Location : Broadmoor

The next time CrazyJay contacts you, tell him you have already signed a former X Factor rapper from oop north and if CrazyJay wants to be on your label he has to be as good if not better than Simple Steven.

https://youtu.be/-MZNDIAPebI

Hipster_Nebula · 8 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 13:30

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14081
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

fair enough to "crazy Jay" for trying to do what he loves, using his story as a jumping off point for a work of fiction is sadder IMO.

aaron_bwfc · 9 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 13:33

aaron_bwfc

Moderator

Posts : 6544
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 34
Location : Bolton

Natasha Whittam wrote:In a moment of boredom last night I decided to reply to Crazy Jay:

Yo Crazy Jay, my name is Natasha D and I am a hip-hop music producer from Kentish Town. For a while now I've been looking for someone just like you to release some already written rap records that are sure to hit the top 10.

I have heard you could be the next Biggie. You do realise Biggie was a fat black man? Your photo suggests you are a skinny white dude but we can work with that. But we need some sort of angle for the media, middle class white rappers simply don't fit our image. Have you ever killed anyone? Taken part in a gang rape? Shagged a celebrity? Snorted cocaine off a hookers tits? We need something like this to create your hardcore image.

If you're interested get back to me with a bit more info about your style.

Natasha D

I got my reply within 12 hours:

Wordup Natasha D! Wow this sounds brilliant and just what im looking for. I know Biggie was a big black rapper but my friends and family say I have the same laidback flow. I'm not middle class, Im from the streets of Lewisham and have seen it all. I haven't killed anyone but am used to handling guns and blunts and shagging the odd hooker. I am defo the guy you are looking for, i look well ard like a proper rapper and have the rhymes to back it up. I could be massive.

Just penned some lyrics last night about a cheating girlfriend:

She fucked my friend so I don't need to pretend,
Take that bitch and slay her in a ditch,
I'll have her head on a stick, don't call me fick,
I'm crazy Jay and I can go all day.

What do you think?

I am thinking of my next reply...

I'm amazed the guy hasn't sold millions with lyrics like that.

Natasha Whittam · 10 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 16:36

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

Hipster_Nebula wrote:

fair enough to "crazy Jay" for trying to do what he loves, using his story as a jumping off point for a work of fiction is sadder IMO.

You've just made your last post.

Hipster_Nebula · 11 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 16:43

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14081
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Hipster_Nebula wrote:

fair enough to "crazy Jay" for trying to do what he loves, using his story as a jumping off point for a work of fiction is sadder IMO.

You've just made your last post.

You're so easy to wind up.

Natasha Whittam · 12 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 16:57

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

No wind up, you are for the chop.

Hipster_Nebula · 13 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:25

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14081
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

Which mod has decided that then?

Natasha Whittam · 14 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:28

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Which mod has decided that then?

All of them. All you do these days is diss other threads. If you don't like them then fuck off.

Hipster_Nebula · 15 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:30

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14081
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

How do you know that though considering you're not a mod?

Natasha Whittam · 16 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:31

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

Hipster_Nebula wrote:How do you know that though considering you're not a mod?

Top posters like me always control the mods, you know that.

Hipster_Nebula · 17 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:32

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14081
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

Ah right...

If Keegan, Sluffy, Aarons, Boltontillidie etc etc want me to leave the forum, more than happy too.

Natasha Whittam · 18 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:33

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Ah right...

If Keegan, Sluffy, Aarons, Boltontillidie etc etc want me to leave the forum, more than happy too.

Ok, good. They're not here right now but trust me when they said "good riddance".

Hipster_Nebula · 19 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:35

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14081
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

I'm not sure how you would acquire that knowledge.

Confused.

Natasha Whittam · 20 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:35

Natasha Whittam

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 34087
Join date : 2012-01-04
Age : 40

Hipster_Nebula wrote:I'm not sure how you would acquire that knowledge.

Confused.

They consult me on everything. Sluffy doesn't even post without running it by me first.

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I Love Gumtree

1 I Love Gumtree Sat Dec 29 2012, 20:28

Natasha Whittam

2 Re: I Love Gumtree Sat Dec 29 2012, 20:41

aaron_bwfc

3 Re: I Love Gumtree Sat Dec 29 2012, 20:52

Sgt. Bash

4 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 11:50

Boggersbelief

5 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 12:32

Natasha Whittam

6 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 12:37

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7 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 12:47

Reebok Trotter

8 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 13:30

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9 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 13:33

aaron_bwfc

10 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 16:36

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11 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 16:43

Hipster_Nebula

12 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 16:57

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13 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:25

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14 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:28

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15 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:30

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16 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:31

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17 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:32

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18 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:33

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19 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:35

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20 Re: I Love Gumtree Sun Dec 30 2012, 19:35

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