Southport - You're shit.

Just got back from spending the afternoon walking the dog on Southport beach with Mrs B.

Not been to Southport for a few years (Airshow about 7 or 8 years back).

What a dump!

It's like "Bradshawgate On Sea", with its boarded up shop fronts, Pound Stores and general shitness.

And the worst bit was we decided to get fish and chips and eat them in the car on the Prom (four quid to park for anything over an hour) and the bastards charged us £12.60 for two lots of fish and chips.

Not Dolphin, by the way, cod.

Robbing bastards!

Up yours, Southport!

What a lucky lady Mrs B is. You know how to show her a good time.

Expectation management is the key to a successful marriage.

If I took her to nice places and spoilt her, she'd want it every week.

This way, a trip to Southport and a bag of chips keeps her expectations at a manageable level.

Next week it's a stroll down the Liverpool - Leeds Canal and she'll think it's like the French Riviera compared to shitty Southport.

See.....psychology.

You can't beat a trip to the park.

-... .- ... - .- .-. -..

Breadman wrote:-... .- ... - .- .-. -..

I know who my Dad was.
I think.
According to my Mother, he kept his hat on during their all too brief relationship,but she's pretty sure too.

I might open up a fish and chip shop in Southport .

Everywhere has boarded up shop fronts and pound shops these days. 

The price of fish and chips everywhere is astronomical, bought some in Wigan last week and it cost me £5.20 and I couldn't even see the sea. 

Southport ain't that bad. (thats the official slogan)



P.S I work for the Southport tourism board.

Barb Dwyer wrote:Southport ain't that bad.

P.S I work for the Southport tourism board.

Not too hard by the looks of things.

Southport was a great place to go when they had the big funfair.

I know it's been replaced now but it sounds like more of a gypo and waltzer type job, rather than the wristband and rollercoaster sort of place it used to be.

Another place that's gone down the shitter is Morecambe. I can't believe people still buy caravans there.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Barb Dwyer wrote:Southport ain't that bad.

P.S I work for the Southport tourism board.

Not too hard by the looks of things.

I'll try an work harder, how about this as a new slogan

Southport: Our fish and chips may be slightly more expensive than Wigan but at least you can see the sea whilst eating them in your car.

I think this would be better:

Southport: Visit us to help manage expectations

My Auntie was going to move to Southport until someone told her it was on Merseyside.
So she moved to Lytham St Annes.

Barb Dwyer wrote:

Southport: Our fish and chips may be slightly more expensive than Wigan but at least you can see the sea whilst eating them in your car.

...if you're very, very long-sighted.

BoltonTillIDie wrote:I think this would be better:

Southport: Visit us to help manage expectations

Only just spotted this.

Quality comment, sir.

There's some cracking ale houses though!

Southport used to/may well still have pretentions of posh and there's something I like about decaying Victoriana (e.g. Cromer) although it's all but disappeared under plastic and broken neon in places down here like Great Yarmouth
Morecambe hasn't been the same since the magical illuminations for tiny kids park (Happy Valley? Happy Mount?) was bought by Mr Blobby PLC International but Southport still has a faded elegance IMO.
Went to New Brighton a few years back and that has gone down the pan but the history of it's golden years as the Scouse destination of choice is still interesting and for me as attractive as the go karts.
Southport, Morecambe, New Brighton - I may be alone in this, but I love former Victorian seaside resorts like these, even if it's just for a walk along the beach and a bag of chips. As the old joke goes these are the kind of places you could drop an atomic bomb on and do £10 worth of damage - but I love 'em.

We've a lot to thank Mitchell & Kenyon for. Some wonderful stuff in the archives.

Its not posh, or has any class like Blackpool.