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The Bonkers by-Election - Rochdale

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1The Bonkers by-Election - Rochdale Empty The Bonkers by-Election - Rochdale Sun Feb 25 2024, 00:42

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

On Thursday we will be having the most bonkers by-election possibly of all time in this country.

For a start it is being held on a 'Leap Day' - the 29th February - so what are the odds of a by-election (always held on a Thursday) on a day that only happens once every four years?

As for the candidates!!!

Labour have already suspended their nominee - he's the one who...

...subsequently apologised "to Jewish leaders for my inexcusable comments", in respect of Israel/Gaza.

It's to late to hook him, so if he wins as LABOUR, he immediately have the whip taken from him (so will sit as an Independent) and is already de-selected to stand in the General Election that will take part later this year.

He's already toast then BUT still likely to win!

Crazy!

Surely there has got to be someone better you ask?

Well there's gorgeous gorge - remember him!!!



Oh Christ not him who else is there?

Well a former Rochdale MP no less, he should be sound you'd think?

Well no.

Simon Danczuk got booted out of Labour for "inappropriate behaviour" (he was sending smutty letters to an under age girl).  He's now standing for Remain.

There is a reverend standing (as an independent) surely he's the one to vote for?

Well no, not unless that is you one to vote for one of the crazies of Just Stop Oil, who ended up going to jail because he would stop not supergluing himself to things like motorways and high street banks...

What about the Conservative candidate?

Well that's Rochdale Man of the Year in 2020 (seriously!) Paul Ellison but I don't think Paul himself thinks he will win because instead of canvassing he went away on holiday last week (seriously, again!)

Got to be safe voting for the Greens eh?

You'd think so - but you'd be wrong!

He's been suspended by the Green Party for slagging off the Palestinians - so in the unlikely event he did win, he would serve as an Independent and be de-selected for the General Election later this year.

There's a few independents, there's a local bar owner who is standing to bring shops back to Town Centres - good luck with that!

And there's another who had to crowd funded his £500 registration fee!

So that just leaves us with three serious contenders - that's if you include the monster raving lunatics candidate who is standing to stop hedgehogs becoming homeless!

Which in my book - and compared with the ones above - actually makes him a real contender!

We also have Mr Nice, David Tulley, who is an independent, a local bloke and is calling for the reinstatement of Rochdale's maternity ward and is a supporter of the local rugby league club Rochdale Mayfield.

The Lib Dems really have an open goal on this one - Rochdale used to always vote Liberal for their boy Cyril Smith - until they found out he was a kiddy fiddler!

God knows who will end up winning this one - but it should be fun to watch!

Rochdale by-election: Candidates list
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-68250468

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Crikey! Shocked

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Pity it's too late for me to sign up!

 I'd have probably won it on my Nice to see you, to see you, nice, ticket.

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington

boltonbonce wrote:Pity it's too late for me to sign up!

 I'd have probably won it on my Nice to see you, to see you, nice, ticket.
I think the slippers would tip the balance for you.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Cajunboy wrote:
I think the slippers would tip the balance for you.
Free slippers for all pensioners. cheers

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

boltonbonce wrote:
Cajunboy wrote:
I think the slippers would tip the balance for you.
Free slippers for all pensioners. cheers

Vote for Bonce!!!

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Sluffy wrote:

Vote for Bonce!!!
But wait. Slipper violence is rife in many parts of the world. We must be careful.

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