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Any regrets with your education/career?

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finlaymcdanger
Hipster_Nebula
Norpig
7 posters

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Mad Dog


Nicky Hunt
Nicky Hunt

I don't mean to post a negative post as I am a very positive person but recently I was searching some of my old mates from school and college who I have lost all contact with donkeys years ago now.
My best friend at junior school and high school was the cleverest in our year, he worked so hard and got amazing grades and I knew he went to a top university and that was the last I heard from him. 
I remember when studying our GCSEs I really struggled with revising, just lacked motivation, it was all such a chore. I had pieces of paper scattered everywhere. I went to see him one day on study leave to ask if he had any notes on a subject and he had a filing cabinet, all topics in alpha order within each subject, I couldn't believe it. He worked so hard always and it was no surprise he was a straight A student. Anyway, I searched him online recently and saw that he started his own IT consulting company and has branches all over the world. Looking at his accounts on Company's House he is making profits of £2.5m a year and growing. He earns in 4 days what I do in a year. I just feel such a failure, can't help but think WTF, why did I not try harder, why did I not try and fulfil my potential and get a job/career doing something I would have really liked to have done?
I do however think that the careers advice we had when I was at school and college in the 90s was really so poor, I don't even remember having careers advice or being told the importance of getting good grades to working towards being qualified to get a good career, otherwise you'd be stuck in real boring mundane jobs. 
Anyway, it is too late now, I am closer to retirement than starting out which is crazy. 
How do others feel about their education/career, are you happy with what you achieved or do you have some regrets?

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

When I was growing up my mam and dad encouraged me on my schooling and simply said 'do your best'.

My cousin (a year older than me) on the other hand was pressured by his mam and dad to cram as a child  to get into grammar school (which he did) and kept up the pressure on him through grammar school his O levels then his A levels...

...he had a nervous breakdown.

True story.

I guess what I am saying is that if 'it' (whatever 'it' is?) is inside you and you make the most of it you will get the qualifications that helps to give you future opportunities in life, and if it isn't, no amount of trying to force stuff into you head will change that.

Even if 'it' is in you, you might prefer not to use it and live the life you want to do instead.

When my daughter was growing up, I give her the same advice as I got, just do your best - I also added don't do the subjects you'd think I'd want you to take, do the subjects you like - because at the end of the day it is your life to live it as you want to - not as I want you to.

It seems to have worked for her, she went to university, travelled the world in her gap year and now living and working in London.

She seems happy in herself and that is all that I would want for her, isn't that what every parent wants for their child.

I'm sure Mr and Mrs Upton are happy with you flipping your burgers Mich and would be proud of you whatever you ended up doing.

You'll always be a legend on here Mad Dog and your Do you like Cheese thread made this forum what it is today!

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk/t4076-do-you-like-cheese?highlight=Cheese

Mad Dog


Nicky Hunt
Nicky Hunt

It is an interesting one about how parents should approach pushing/encouraging their kids when it comes to studying. I just didn't have 'it' as you say inside me to work hard, I preferred to play Road Rash and EA Ice Hockey on the Mega Drive than studying Science or French. I do remember though another good friend, his parents bribed him to do well in his GCSE and A levels exams, I remember his parents offering him proper good money for every GCSE A-C above 6 he got and extra money for any A's. He was so motivated by the money that he did really well. I think I needed that.
I think your approach of telling your daughter to just do her best is a nice approach to take... although I think I would see it as a cliche such as 'Life is too short', it has meaning but you don't really take on board what it means. But I can tell that you are very proud of your daughter and of the way you brought her up.
I do wish I was pushed harder but it would have to have been done in the right way, not forcing me to work but maybe words of wisdom like I would tell myself now. I'm ok with it, I do realise that most people are in the same boat and that we are all different, studying hard and being ambitious was just not me, you can't really change that about anyone.

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I didn't really try at school and do regret it now as i came out with poor GCSE's. My Mum never really pushed me and the school didn't care.

I'm ok now but my son is currently doing his GCSE's and he is too much like me (but cleverer) so we both make sure he realises how important these exams are.

Hipster_Nebula

Hipster_Nebula
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I have wasted my life but hey ho. Hopefully reincarnation isn’t a myth and I can try again.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Hipster_Nebula wrote:I have wasted my life but hey ho. Hopefully reincarnation isn’t a myth and I can try again.
I deliberately failed my 11 plus, just to avoid grammar school. I wasn't the only one in my year. There were some very puzzled teachers.
It was pretty much downhill after that, because I've been unable to take anything seriously since. I did try to join the marines, but was failed for poor eyesight.
Can you imagine Bonce the marine? Running at the enemy shouting 'Nice to see you, to see you, nice!'
Don't get me wrong, I've had some great jobs, but I'm sure I could have flown higher had I embraced a different mentality.
The bottom line is, am I happy? And the answer is, yes.
Happiness begins with 'H', not a pound sign. People like me. I like me too.
I'll take that. :good:

finlaymcdanger

finlaymcdanger
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington

I didn't understand the importance of a good education when I was a kid and left school with very few qualifications to my name at 16 years old. My parents encouraged me but didn't put any pressure on. That changed as I matured soon after and I suffered three nights per week in Blackburn for three years to get a Marketing degree. It turned out to be worthwhile.

I told this story at my Mum and Dad's funeral (both FFS!) a couple of weeks ago...
Lost at 16 years old without a clue what I was going to do with my life, barely a qualification to my name. Then one morning, my Dad tapped me on the shoulder and said "Get your coat on". He handed me a sheet of paper with the names of 5 or 6 printing companies and small graphic design studios in and around the Bolton area and proceeded to drive me to each of them and drop me at the front door. It was pissing down with rain as I remember. "Go inside and ask them for a job" was his directive - much to my delight at the time. It worked. And that day set me on course for a career in design, branding, creative direction, and marketing which I do to this day. I'll never forget what he did for me that day.

I've worked my fingers to the bone for every employer since (too much in-fact), although I do regret never having worked for myself. School was disinteresting to me but being in the workforce was exciting. The effort I never showed at school was in me but I just had to find a way to apply it. I had to find something that engaged my interest. As with many, there has been a lot of technological change in my industry and for the first time, I'm feeling it at 55 years. Now I'm considering what to do that's a change - something completely different - something that interests me.

But to answer the question... I do wish I'd had a better education. And, my struggles with a lack of confidence leave me questioning how much further I could have pushed myself in my career. No regrets though - I've been very fortunate.

Mad Dog


Nicky Hunt
Nicky Hunt

That’s a nice post Finlay. Sorry to hear about your parents, it’s the saddest part of life losing loved ones as the years race by, wish we were all young forever. 
It was great of your Dad to help give you the push you needed, I think so many of us when young need that. Sounds like that set you off in the right direction in your career. 
My parents are amazing but I was too immature and wet behind the ears to find the path I should taken, I wish my parents did help guide me to it but I don’t blame them for not, I don’t know what it should have been.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I always felt that retirement would bring its own rewards.
There I'd be, a silver fox, still with a bit of sex appeal, suave, sophisticated, well read, and well able to converse with people at the highest levels of society, yet also having that rare ability to engage with lesser beings, using that innate humility common to great men.

Why is it then, that I appear to have turned into Barry from Watford?

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

Sorry for your loss Fin.

RIP

luckyPeterpiper

luckyPeterpiper
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Personally I regret missing a huge chunk of my eldest son's early years because I worked stupid hours and told myself I was doing it for the family. Thankfully he doesn't hold it against me but he's learned from my mistake. He has a decent job and he works hard at it BUT he doesn't spend any time he doesn't have to working as his wife and daughter are much more important to him than work which is a means to an end while for me it became an end in itself. 

Beyond that I regret not spending more time with my dad (who sadly passed a couple of years ago) after Wendy and I married. I would love to have at least one more conversation with him and was grateful to be his son.

I think any life has its share of regrets and thoughts of what might have been but for the most part I am happy with where I am and wouldn't change anything except my bank balance (Add a few more zero's please). Very Happy

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