Christmas theme.

Am I pissed or do we actually have snow falling on the forum ?

You might be pissed but i also thought I'd make the home page a bit Christmassy.

Thought my dandruff had suddenly started having a life of its own!

About the only snow we are going to get this year.

Im sick of the lying bastards saying we are due snow... then it rains

I WILL have a snow day off work this year!

You're right, you will have snow days off work this year

Wot snow? I looked and it wasn't there? Is it because its warmer down south

Bloody 'ell, Santa's arrived n all

Has anyone considered who this might offend?

Are you offended? I'm sure no one here will be offended, however feel free to let us know if you are.

I'm joking.

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Has anyone considered who this might offend?

Don't worry Hipster, we've already got a header of a drunken Scotsman already to put up for Hogmanay!

Och aye the noo!

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Has anyone considered who this might offend?

Do we get many Romans on here?

Copper Dragon wrote:

Do we get many Romans on here?

Only Chairmanda that I am aware of.

I've now seen the Seasons greetings. Its amazing what you can see when you scroll to the top of the page

Why is Santa in Coca-cola red and white and not in BWFC colours?

I don't have any pictures of the kit man, sorry.

Keegan wrote:I don't have any pictures of the kit man, sorry.

You mean Coyle's brother in-law? Shame.

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.


Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known ….. .
ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Company Memo

------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 1, 2012

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa
Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts
among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be
over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty

Company Memo

------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 2, 2012

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas
tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of
music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty

Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees

DATE: October 3, 2012

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed
to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed
since the union members feel that £10.00 is too much money and the
executives believe £10.00 is a little chintzy.


REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: October 4, 2012

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything
for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?


Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest
to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit
with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks
that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about
confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in
the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood
pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but
the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty


Company Memo

------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Fucking Employees

DATE: October 5, 2012

RE: The Fucking Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your fucking salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them
scream right NOW!

The rest of you fucking wierdos can kiss my ass. I hope you all have a
rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from Hell!!!


Company Memo


Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw