Bolton Stand By Dougie Freedman.

Hipster_Nebula wrote:

Right decision IMO but he is clinging on at this point, I don't think anyone can deny that, he needs to turn things round in the next 3-4 games or I'm afraid....

Hipster_Nebula wrote:So you would say he hasn't got a grip of the players then?

that would answer the question.

bwfc1874 wrote:

I hope it's as simple as the players not wanting to play for him and that's why they've been so poor so far, but somehow I don't think it will change much. Probably because we've been on this decline since Wembley.. and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

bwfc1874 wrote:Probably because we've been on this decline since Wembley.. and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

Dear Phil

My name is Natasha Whittam and I would like to apply for the job of manager of Bolton Wanderers Football Club. No doubt you have heard of me, I am probably Bolton’s most famous fan, and I’m sure you have followed my work over the years on various BWFC forums. However, just in case you have spent the last few years with your head up your bottom, let me tell you more about me and why I am the right woman for the job.

I am 32 years of age and am Managing Director of Whittam International plc, one of the largest corporations in the country. In 2007 and 2008 I was voted ‘Preston Businesswoman of the Year’ and given the key to the city. Sir Richard Branson and Deborah Meaden regularly ask for my advice on their business matters, and I have just turned down Alan Sugar’s offer to take over from Karren Brady on the next series of ‘The Apprentice’.

However, it is my extensive football knowledge that should secure me the job. In my teenage years I was probably the best female footballer in the country, a female Steven Gerrard if you like. One minute I was clearing a shot off the line, the next I was up the other end powering in a diving header to win the match. In 1994 I lead Penwortham Girls School to victory in the National Girls School Cup at Deepdale. Despite breaking my ankle in the second minute after a vicious tackle from Stacey Grime, I went on to score the last minute winner with a sublime 25 yard volley that almost broke the net. Jason Lee (old pineapple head) described it as the best goal he had ever seen, and Gerald Cid has since said it’s the goal that inspired him to become a footballer. Even now, people still whisper about the goal on the terraces of Deepdale. The goal has had more YouTube hits than Gangnam Style.

It should also be noted that, unlike the other fools in the running for the job, I have been watching Bolton Wanderers virtually all my life. I was there the day Robbie Savage clinched promotion at Wrexham, the day Dean Crombie scored that beauty at Wembley against Torquay, the day Steve McAnespie became our record signing, and the day Owen Coyle gave Zat Knight a new contract. I’ve seen it all.

But it’s not only on the pitch where I have picked up my encyclopedic knowledge of football, as I have learnt just as much off it. Bruce Rioch once let me and my friend Karen shelter in his office at Burnden Park when it was pissing down outside. For 25 minutes we watched him write stuff, photocopy stuff, and struggle to put staples in his stapler. I vowed that one day I would follow in his footsteps.

I also had the pleasure of meeting Jussi Jaaskelainen in Ikon when he first signed for the club. He shook my hand and stared at my tits for fully 30 seconds. In that moment I feel I learnt what it was like to be a professional footballer.

And, of course, I dated Bolton-target David Nugent for nearly two years. He taught me everything about the game of football. How to miss open goals, how to dive, how to get paid for being shite, and most importantly, how to handle a professional footballer (usually a finger up the bum while I wanked him off).

So there you have it, what more could a Chairman want? I am available for interview at short notice (although I get my bikini line waxed on a Friday morning) where I would be happy to discuss my application further and perhaps show you one or two of my assets that other candidates definitely don’t have.

Yours sincerely

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam wrote:I think it's time I got ready for a call from Phil Gartside, he can't fail to have been impressed with my application in October 2012