Fulham v Bolton

Is it the bin?

Here's TV's funny man, Norman Collier with your clue....(Applause from the audience)

(NC enters Stage Left carrying a Barclay's cheque-book)

"Hello Ted, here we go":

"I was born in Scotland, but Scottish I'm not,
For training and tactics, I care not a jot.
I look good in trainers, my pants are not long,
"Let's all have a good time and play some ping-pong."

Thanks Norman. Norman Collier everybody! (More applause.)

(Couple look bemused and haven't a clue, so they reject the cheque-book.)

Ted then explains.......

"I was born in Scotland, but Scottish I'm not - what could that mean?
Well of course it could mean this person moved to Mars at an early age. Or England.

"For training and tactics, I care not a jot"

Well, this person obviously has no time for considered thought and could be classed as a bit of a knob.

"I look good in trainers, my pants are not long,"

Trainers are a type of shoe, shoes can be black or brown. Black and brown are both colours, as is Ginger. Any ideas yet?

"Let's all have a good time and play some ping-pong."

What can that be?

Well, "Ping-Pong" is a game played by children on holiday in all-inclusive resorts whilst their parents get drunk by the pool, thus "having a good time." However, the other entertainment on offer in all-inclusive resorts can be notoriously "pathetic" and a bit shit.

"So what does that give us?" asks Ted.......

"English, shit tactics, a bit of a knob, ginger and pathetic....any ideas who it is?"

Breadman wrote:I fully agree - Lose tonight and that should be curtains for Freedman.

We are playing tomorrow evening at 8pm.

karlypants wrote:

Breadman wrote:I fully agree - Lose tonight and that should be curtains for Freedman.

We are playing tomorrow evening at 8pm.

Read my full comment and put it in context with his statement and it should make sense.

If it doesn't, kill yourself quick.

I've lost my code book. 
What's going on?

Breadman wrote:

karlypants wrote:

Breadman wrote:I fully agree - Lose tonight and that should be curtains for Freedman.

We are playing tomorrow evening at 8pm.

Read my full comment and put it in context with his statement and it should make sense.

If it doesn't, kill yourself quick.

Not sure how I didn't notice that before posting!

I'm starting to worry about you, Karl.

When did you last get your gas fire checked for noxious emissions?

Breadman wrote:I'm starting to worry about you, Karl.

When did you last get your gas fire checked for noxious emissions?

Funnily enough, I haven't been on the crack today!

I'm just having one of those days!

Get some quorn sausages down you KP.

I am not commenting on that statement about "being on the crack" for fear of someone accusing me of being obsessed with gay sex.

Do your own gags.......

Sausages,cracks,bloody hell.

I have to say that I am in a much better mood due to you guys!

Nice one KP.
Imagine how you'll feel if we get a result at the cottage.

Glad to be of service, Mr Pants.

My old form teacher at Smithills used to say to me "You may think that playing the fool to amuse your friends is a productive way to pass your time, but let me assure you, boy, that no good can ever come of it in the long term."

Well, Mr Booth, as I sit here in my bus shelter, dining on the finest scraps that a bin behind a takeaway could possibly offer, quaffing from a bottle of 99p cider, I say to you that you were most certainly wrong.

If we do get beat tonight it will then go to show that Freedman and his dummy have failed. Even the most patient of fans will chirp up and say that's that.

Athertonian wrote:If we do get beat tonight it will then go to show that Freedman and his dummy have failed. Even the most patient of fans will chirp up and say that's that.

The game was last night and we won 4-0.

Aye in your dream it was. Let us hope your dream becomes reality.

Athertonian wrote:Aye in your dream it was. Let us hope your dream becomes reality.

Actually, I hope we lose 8-0 tonight.

That way, he might be gone before we play Bournemouth....