Were you a delinquent at school?

I was. To a point, anyway. I did all sorts of shit at school that was a bit out of order. I was one of the cleverest kids in the school but I just wanted to be one of the lads.

At primary school there was this sheltered, posh, harmless and slightly simple kid called Peter. When I was about 8, me and another lad got ABSOLUTELY BOLLOCKED for asking Peter whether he had a penis or a vagina during playtime one afternoon.

When I was round 9, we had an amazing week in school where the whole week was given over to preparation for and taking of cycle proficiency tests. I lived about two miles away from my primary school, and it was all uphill. In other words, I went to a lot of trouble to get my bike to school every day, carrying it up a steep grass bank part of the way and so on. So on the test day itself I went mental when the organiser cancelled the tests because the first few kids who attempted it were so bad they were unsafe. I always used to go mad when I was penalised for someone else's mistakes or stupidity and felt all my hard work was for nothing, so I spoke out of turn. I realise now that kids' safety is a bit more important than a meaningless cycling certificate.

In secondary school I was a complete arsehole. Most of the teachers dreaded having me in their class as I was a complete smart arse, you couldn't tell me anything, I could beat most of the teachers in an argument, and I would quietly stir up trouble by encouraging lesser minds to ruin.

I got into very few fights at school though, I was so big and so angry looking that I didn't really attract much trouble. The one time I did get into a major fight, which by the way I did not start, the lad's head broke a window. That was a bit over the top I admit, luckily for me he only had a small cut. I still see him at Wanderers games every now and then, last time I saw him was at West Brom last season. We share a brief nod, it's not like the movies where people laugh about these things 20 years later.

In my last year in school I was one of the ringleaders of a secret group called 'The Resistance'. Our activity was confined to placing stupid notices all around the school with mission statements such as 'The Resistance would like to introduce rabies into the UK' and 'The Resistance want cigarettes in the tuck shop' and other such silliness. There was eventually a lockdown on all the notice boards and kids were encouraged to keep their eyes open for The Resistance. We had to bribe other kids 10p or a cigarette to post our propaganda messages on our behalf as the net of suspicion tightened around us.

The headteacher at my school was an Irish nun (yes, I went to the same school as Peter Kay), and she held this dedicated assembly saying that The Resistance was childish and disruptive and must stop. How the 3 or 4 of us got through that assembly without giving ourselves away I do not know. At one point my head was buried in my hands with laughing. I couldn't help it.

What did you do at school that was out of order?

I should also mention that behind the primary school canteen, they had these massive swill bins. They were about 5 foot tall, and about the size of the wheelie bins businesses get, but circular. They were emptied by a special council team. Imagine the food waste that a 250 kids create at dinner time in a week, plus leftover food. My route home from school used to take me past these bins, and many a week my friends and I used to pull them over.

What you did to Peter is wrong, I'm amazed you would admit to it in public.

It's not exactly the Bulger case, Natasha - get a grip. We only got bollocked because he didn't know what the words meant and asked a dinnerlady.

largehat wrote:It's not exactly the Bulger case, Natasha - get a grip. We only got bollocked because he didn't know what the words meant and asked a dinnerlady.

I was only joking, keep your knickers on.

I did loads of stupid shit when I was at school. I went to a posh all-girls secondary school so you can imagine the spoilt brats that were there.

But I won't bore you with the stories, people will just claim I'm making them up.

Natasha, if anyone discredits your stories, I will direct such detractors to the abuse thread.

Please share your stories.

i wasn't exactly a delinquent but i got into my fair share of trouble. i got suspended once for hiding during the cross country trials. i lost track of time and half the school was out looking for me - i was sunbathing under a tree in the park.

Jayne, a lot of the time I used to crack up while getting bollocked. 4 of us got caught out of bounds at lunchtime once, and the problem was, we had grossly mis-timed how long it would take us to get back to school.

By the time we reached the edge of the school fields, other kids had been back in their form period for about 15 minutes, half the school was able to watch us out of their form room windows, and the scary teacher with bad breath was stood waiting to greet us with his clenched fists driven into his sides and an evil expression. As we got within earshot of him, he bellowed "come here! you four piles of excrement." and I had to laugh. He also pronounced "excrement" as "eccrement" for some reason.

largehat wrote:Natasha, if anyone discredits your stories, I will direct such detractors to the abuse thread.

Please share your stories.

Well, youve already mentioned the main scandal on another thread.

I also threw a netball at the sports teacher because she kept rotating the team rather than pick the best players. We would have won the league that year but for that bint.

I keyed the headmistresses car and set up another girl to take the fall. Sorry Millie Fox.

I skipped school on numerous occasions and went into town to play the arcades. One eventful afternoon ended up sprinting down the high street followed by two out of shape coppers.

There are many more, my parents were scared to pick up the phone.

largehat wrote:Jayne, a lot of the time I used to crack up while getting bollocked. 4 of us got caught out of bounds at lunchtime once, and the problem was, we had grossly mis-timed how long it would take us to get back to school.

i'm ashamed to admit i cried to try and get sympathy!

Wasn't a delinquent just hated the place, but at least the holidays were good.

I'm sure some of our teachers were on the run War Criminals... Basturds.

Largehat's OP doesn't wash with me. He was the small, nerdy, glasses-wearing ginger kid that couldn't handle confrontation, of his year group.
In later life he has developed an ability to stand his ground, a quality he now prides himself on, and one that he uses to psychologically compensate for his inability to do so in his younger days.

Heh, see you over on the Abuse Thread, 'cocker

Thinking about it some of us were real twats.
Reason being, our school was next door to a homeless Hostel, we had Nicknames for some of the residents, we saw..
Shuffler, Fingers and Docker, poor bastards.

God Bless Their Souls.

There was a slaughter house next to our school I put a pigs bloody head on the pe teachers car seat . I slashed the soft top to put it there . I did not like him ,he knew it was me . He couldn't,t do anything about it ,he was a bully and all bullies are cowards in reality.

I was an evil bastard at school the geography teacher a woman we called strawberry split because she opened her legs a lot and you could see when she was on. One day she asked me what I was staring at so I told her, she ran out crying.

At 13 I had sex with a 15 year old prefect called melody banks in the boiler room it was a rear end job and the best bang I ever had. Probably cos it was my first time. I also had sex with mrs linden the music teacher on the river bank when I was 15 it started out as a walk to talk about music in the dinner break, she was fascinated by my love of music and the fact that I could play anything on the piano without reading music and better than her. She loved to here me play lady madonna for some reason,strange as she was into classical mostly. The sex started with her humming a tune for me which turned me on and I just started snogging her and holding her down at first she resisted but soon gave in and pulled my pants down and we did it . She was my first love and I was crazy about her , we had an affair for 3 years but she moved away as her husbands job took them to Scotland and by then she had two kids one was mine

Angry Dad wrote:At 13 I had sex with a 15 year old prefect called melody banks in the boiler room it was a rear end job and the best bang I ever had. Probably cos it was my first time. I also had sex with mrs linden the music teacher on the river bank when I was 15 it started out as a walk to talk about music in the dinner break, she was fascinated by my love of music and the fact that I could play anything on the piano without reading music and better than her. She loved to here me play lady madonna for some reason,strange as she was into classical mostly. The sex started with her humming a tune for me which turned me on and I just started snogging her and holding her down at first she resisted but soon gave in and pulled my pants down and we did it . She was my first love and I was crazy about her , we had an affair for 3 years but she moved away as her husbands job took them to Scotland and by then she had two kids one was mine

I won't go into detail on this one but I blew up the science lab deliberately with my mate frank . Windows blown out and fire damage we almost went with it.

Are you up late or up early LH? I'm in Tampa and its 11..30 pm and bloody humid.