Virginity Cream: Will You Be Using It?

There is an incredible new product on the market today, the first vagina tightening cream.

Yes, you heard right, vagina tightening cream. The manufacturer claims it will make women "feel like a virgin" again.

Now, having been a virgin for the last 10 years, I have no need for such a product, but what about you married men, will you be buying some for your wife? Do you yearn to have sex with a virgin?

You can't be "a virgin for the last ten years", you're either a virgin or you're not a virgin.

You lost your virginity to a paedo IIRC.

largehat wrote:You can't be "a virgin for the last ten years", you're either a virgin or you're not a virgin.

Shut it you ponce. If there's a Mrs Largehat (God help the woman), will you be smearing the virgin cream on her fanny tonight?

Ooh, ouch. No fair LH.
I gather that particular nugget may have been aired before but that's a bit off colour pal.

TheHateCamel wrote:Ooh, ouch. No fair LH.
I gather that particular nugget may have been aired before but that's a bit off colour pal.

I can see why it might look like that, but she was 15 and he was a teacher and she insists that's not a paedophile situation.

Natasha Whittam wrote:
Shut it you ponce. If there's a Mrs Largehat (God help the woman), will you be smearing the virgin cream on her fanny tonight?

No I won't be.

Shit just googled this didn't realise women worried about it. Dont have to worry about that problem because although Mrs Angry has had five heads through it the first one split her with an awful noise that i will never forget, They stitched it back to where it was. She has a snatch tighter than a virgins arsehole. I am one lucky bloke on that score. I wouldn,t know what a loose one felt like, i know about the old joke of throwing a handful of cinders in to get a grip. Surely cant get that bad for a woman.

Angry Dad wrote:Shit just googled this didn't realise women worried about it. Dont have to worry about that problem because although Mrs Angry has had five heads through it the first one split her with an awful noise that i will never forget, They stitched it back to where it was. She has a snatch tighter than a virgins arsehole.

Ha ha, you can't stitch up a vagina "to where it was" AD. I suspect your wife had a free sample of this cream before it came out officially.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Angry Dad wrote:Shit just googled this didn't realise women worried about it. Dont have to worry about that problem because although Mrs Angry has had five heads through it the first one split her with an awful noise that i will never forget, They stitched it back to where it was. She has a snatch tighter than a virgins arsehole.

Ha ha, you can't stitch up a vagina "to where it was" AD. I suspect your wife had a free sample of this cream before it came out officially.

Well i have studied the scar and they did, they stitched the split, you dont think they would stitch half of it and leave the rest do you? I am not talking sowing up a loose fanny as she never had one i am talking sowing up a cut all of the damage. It was months before it was back in use due to the healing time.

There's not enough cream in the whole world to make all the Bolton slappers virgins again.

where can i buy some natasha?

not-so-plain-jayne wrote:where can i buy some natasha?

You can buy some natasha at www.expensiveslags.co.uk

I'm absolutely seething that you are trying to hijack this thread for the second time. It's a serious thread for women of a certain age.

Could it tighten up a womans mouth as well nat.

Angry Dad wrote:Could it tighten up a womans mouth as well nat.

I don't know. Smear it over your wife's gob tonight when she's asleep.

Do that all the time only just let it spurt.

Angry Dad wrote:Do that all the time only just let it spurt.

I don't get it, I'm a virgin remember.

Angry Dad wrote:Do that all the time only just let it spurt.

Angry, this is a thread about virginity cream, not ball snot.

I'm seething that my threads aren't being taken seriously. I may stop posting.

This place is here for fun purposes Nat. Don't seethe so.