Getting Mugged

I can imagine this being Breadman...

It certainly wouldn't be Angry Dad.

I feel a little better for reading that. Nice one. Bread would have taken him out with a French stick!

As soon as the knife appeared, I'd have shit me pants and run off, throwing my phone over my shoulder to distract / stall him.

Sorry to shatter your illusions, Biggie, but that's just how I roll......

Nice to know I'm creating the right impression on here though.

Top article, though before I opened the thread I thought it was a play on words for the new mugs the site was selling.

Breadman wrote:As soon as the knife appeared, I'd have shit me pants and run off, throwing my phone over my shoulder to distract / stall him.

Sorry to shatter your illusions, Biggie, but that's just how I roll......

Nice to know I'm creating the right impression on here though.

I'm sure shitting your pants would have been distraction enough Bread.

A mate of mine (Kev Smyth if anyone knows him) once used his own waste to get away from a would-be attacker.

Not sure what he'd done but knowing Kev, he'd probably been taking the piss out of someone in a boozer.

Anyway, he'd been chased down a back alley and was hiding behind a bin when he realised that he'd shit himself.

He could hear his assailants approaching so he waited until the last minute then scooped a handful out of the back of his pants, jumped up, screamed like a banshee and shoved it in the guy's face.

Then ran off laughing.

He's now a respected Psychiatric Health Professional.

I swear I'm not making any of that up, it's all true.

He used to be a regular in the Doffcocker, so that might explain it.

did he used to live in Heaton and went to Smithills? If so i used to know him!

He could have been done for turd degree murder.

Norpig wrote:did he used to live in Heaton and went to Smithills? If so i used to know him!

He did grow up in Heaton but he went to Cuthberts.

Big Irish family.

I went to Smithills, Norpig.

How old are you?

boltonbonce wrote:He could have been done for turd degree murder.

That's terrible, even for you..... 

boltonbonce wrote:He could have been done for turd degree murder.

  

Breadman wrote:

Norpig wrote:did he used to live in Heaton and went to Smithills? If so i used to know him!

He did grow up in Heaton but he went to Cuthberts.

Big Irish family.

I went to Smithills, Norpig.

How old are you?

I'm getting......fortyone, wait.....fortytwo.

And you are....fifty no, sixty, no seventy.....fortythree.

Am I correct?





(PS have a read under your avatars!).

Thanks. 

Sluffy wrote:

Breadman wrote:

Norpig wrote:did he used to live in Heaton and went to Smithills? If so i used to know him!

He did grow up in Heaton but he went to Cuthberts.

Big Irish family.

I went to Smithills, Norpig.

How old are you?

I'm getting......fortyone, wait.....fortytwo.

And you are....fifty no, sixty, no seventy.....fortythree.

Am I correct?





(PS have a read under your avatars!).

Whittam's been about thirty for years if you believe what she's saying on here, smarty pants.....

(Very well constructed piss take in your answer though, you bastard! Made me burst out laughing.  )

Reebok Trotter wrote:It certainly wouldn't be Angry Dad.

RT what can i say, that guy is a mug and one day he will get shafted, he's like cameron and his hug a hoodie, i'd a shoved that knife up his arse and twisted it round and round ,he would'nt do it again.

Are Julio Diaz and his robber gay lovers now?

boltonbonce wrote:He could have been done for turd degree murder.

Almost wet meself laughing at this. Good one BB

Serious business mugging especially if its a gang of lads. Doesn't bother me too much now whilst I can still handle myself, but I'd hate to think what would happen when I'm 70+

Breadman wrote:

Norpig wrote:did he used to live in Heaton and went to Smithills? If so i used to know him!

He did grow up in Heaton but he went to Cuthberts.

Big Irish family.

I went to Smithills, Norpig.

How old are you?

As Sluffy says i am 42 so i guess you would have been in the year above me at Smithills. Did Kev's mum used to run a newsagents as well? i may have got confused with the Schools