Who Is The Most Annoying Bolton Fan....

...you've ever had to sit near.

Admit it, there are few things more annoying than arriving for the first home game of the new season to find you're sat next to an absolute twat.

For a few years I had a season ticket in the North Stand for common folk. And every year I would end up next to or very near some absolute bellend.

One of the worst was when I was next to a fat bloke who really should have been paying for half my season ticket seeing as his rolls of fat were resting on my leg the whole time. He never once apologised for being obese. About halfway through the season he stopped coming, presumably dead from a heart attack, or getting stuck down a hole.

Then there was the season I had the most common as muck family sat directly behind me. The teenage boy would constantly kick my chair, there was many a game where I dreamt of smashing his face in with a brick. But it was the teenage girl that still gives me nightmares, she had the thickest Bolton accent I've ever heard - I still cringe at the name "Whitlow", I couldn't stand the way she used to shout his name.

But possibly the worst of all was the fat, bearded ginger bellend who sat three seats down from me one season. The guy clearly thought he was working for 5Live as he would giving a running commentary for 90 long minutes. And every other word was "fuck" or "fucking". And everything was the ref's fault. Kevin Davies could have lased in a 25 yard own goal and the ginger bellend would blame the ref. Towards the end of the season I lost my rag and told him to shut the fuck up or I would cut his balls off. He grassed me up to the stewards who warned me for threatening behaviour. The soft twats, I'd have taken them all if I'd had to.

So what sort of people have you had to sit next to or near?

i've been fairly lucky with the people around me, i have been in the same seat since the stadium opened and in general they have all been ok.
One bloke did annoy me for a season as he would never sit back in his seat, always leaning forward tight on the edge of his seat so i couldn't see one end without having to lean further forward myself. He also never uttered a word to me in a full season! I go to the match on my own and usually end up chatting to whoever is next to me but not a dicky bird out of this fella, i was glad the next season when he had gone.

Norpig wrote:He also never uttered a word to me in a full season! I go to the match on my own and usually end up chatting to whoever is next to me but not a dicky bird out of this fella.

Communication works both ways Norpig. Perhaps he was waiting for you to make the first move?

I once had the pleasure of sitting next to a gentleman who appeared to be a throwback to a sixties comedy film.
He wore a flat cap,a car coat and driving gloves.
He spent the whole of the first half(a cup match against Arsenal)calling Freddie Ljungberg a 'sausage jockey'.
I somehow managed to suppress the urge to strangle him and instead mentioned him to the stewards.
To my intense relief he failed to appear for the second half.

boltonbonce wrote:I once had the pleasure of sitting next to a gentleman who appeared to be a throwback to a sixties comedy film.
He wore a flat cap,a car coat and driving gloves.
He spent the whole of the first half(a cup match against Arsenal)calling Freddie Ljungberg a 'sausage jockey'.
I somehow managed to suppress the urge to strangle him and instead mentioned him to the stewards.
To my intense relief he failed to appear for the second half.

No one likes a grass.

It was grass him or spend time inside for murder.

When I used to stand in The Paddock with my mates during the 80's and early 90's, we ended up having to move our semi-permanent vantage point from "half-way line, right at the back" to "Losers' Corner" near the Lever End because of one particularly annoying man.

He held two records at the time: "Most Annoyingly Pissed-Up Bloke in Bolton" and "Last Man To Leave The King Bill and Arrive Every Week at Ten Past Three, Just When You All Thought It Was Safe and He Wasn't Coming."

He would rock up every week, stumbling drunk and then fall about, generally being a twat and trying to get songs going for an hour, until he passed out, draped over a barrier.

I pissed on him twice when he was asleep.

I'm an easy going kind of guy who doesn't get wound up easily but I almost lost it at the Stoke game at Wembley. It wasn't an easy time for anyone, but there was a gobby twat near me who didn't let up for the whole game abusing every player, the manager, the club, the Board, Gartside, his wife and kids and anyone else in earshot. Big aggressive f***** he was who didn't like being told to give it a rest. TBF the players did need abusing that day, but not incessantly at full volume to the extent it made an already bad experience even worse. He shut up after I had a word for about 5 minutes, then started again - tentatively at first and then louder. I was just about ready to lose it when Bolton reject Walters scored their 5th with about 10 minutes to go and the gobby twat walked. At least we were able to be miserable in peace then.

Breadman wrote:When I used to stand in The Paddock with my mates during the 80's and early 90's, we ended up having to move our semi-permanent vantage point from "half-way line, right at the back" to "Losers' Corner" near the Lever End because of one particularly annoying man.

He held two records at the time: "Most Annoyingly Pissed-Up Bloke in Bolton" and "Last Man To Leave The King Bill and Arrive Every Week at Ten Past Three, Just When You All Thought It Was Safe and He Wasn't Coming."

He would rock up every week, stumbling drunk and then fall about, generally being a twat and trying to get songs going for an hour, until he passed out, draped over a barrier.

I pissed on him twice when he was asleep.

Sad really. He was the worst club chaplain we've ever had.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Norpig wrote:He also never uttered a word to me in a full season! I go to the match on my own and usually end up chatting to whoever is next to me but not a dicky bird out of this fella.

Communication works both ways Norpig. Perhaps he was waiting for you to make the first move?

he never even looked at me nevermind want to indulge in small talk! Too busy perched over his seat and he was a fattie as well and encroached on my seat

One guy in the Burnden Paddock, Mr Angry we called him, smug little wanker he was and everything was wrong, tactics, subs he even moaned when we occasionally won a game.

NickFazer wrote:One guy in the Burnden Paddock, Mr Angry we called him, smug little wanker he was and everything was wrong, tactics, subs he even moaned when we occasionally won a game.

For the last effing time, I am a WOMAN.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

NickFazer wrote:One guy in the Burnden Paddock, Mr Angry we called him, smug little wanker he was and everything was wrong, tactics, subs he even moaned when we occasionally won a game.

For the last effing time, I am a WOMAN.

Go on, disillusion us innocents.  

Sat next to a woman who used to scream like Janet Leigh in Psycho evertime the opposition had a shot,throw in, corner or got within 40 yards of the Bolton area.

When we played WBA the day we blew a 2-0 lead when Coyle brought CYL on for the last 15 minutes his first game of the season,that match.
Anyway I was in the ESL to the left as it had good atmos in the Premier.Some fat bird and her pissed up boyfriend started going over the top falling about and effing n jeffing at the WBA fans.
The lad didn't even get to see the kick off,then the fat Bird starts flashing her tits,well tits in a bra,that defiantly wasn't from,La Senza or Boux Avenue.
It was embarrassing cos she was pissed n the WBA fans were singing get your tits out for the lads.And she did saggy fat tits,she was warned off the stewards but carried on and lasted about 20 minutes than her pissed up fella.

The most annoying Bolton fans are the chavvy children that sit under the scoreboard.

I like how that corner gets emptier by the match, despite it apparently being home of the diehards.

Once I had a seat next to a woman from Preston who kept telling me she was a former model, ran a world class PR company, was voted for some award thing and has shagged David Nugent. Had a smell of burned pork about her person too, she was a bit strange if im honest. She was ugly so couldn't have been a model, seemed a bit deluded to me. poor thing. 

That said, my season ticket this year, there is a woman who sits in front of me who always refers to the players by their first names and has a really annoying voice - shes also a complete happy-clapper. All game all I can here is her incessant praise for the players like she actually knows them.

On the opposite site to her is a guy who has a PHD in profanity, moans about EVERYTHING with pure venom - he is quite funny actually, for example... one of his rants was (when it started to rain and the wind blew a bit of rain in to the seating area) "go on, fuck off gartside you fucking cunt, cant even build a fucking proper stadium you fat prick" 

He amuses me.

Reebok_Rebel wrote:Once I had a seat next to a woman from Preston who kept telling me she was a former model, ran a world class PR company, was voted for some award thing and has shagged David Nugent. Had a smell of burned pork about her person too, she was a bit strange if im honest. She was ugly so couldn't have been a model, seemed a bit deluded to me. poor thing. 

Are you the fatty or the ginger bearded tosspot?

Bolton fans are all annoying, i'm so glad I don't have to sit next to one ever again.

scottjames30 wrote:Bolton fans are all annoying, i'm so glad I don't have to sit next to one ever again.

How long were you a Bolton fan?