Strange birthday and Christmas presents

My sister-in-law (40) buys me some really odd Christmas presents.

Two years ago she got me a DVD box set of a teenage drama called 'The OC'



It's still in its shrink wrap, covered in dust.

This year she topped it and bought me this:



Yes, that is my hand.

That is a Quaffle. A Quaffle is one of the balls used in the fictitious Wizards' game, played on broomsticks, called Quidditch, in the Harry Potter books. I have read all the Harry Potter books about four times and really enjoy them. As you can see it's still in its box. What am I supposed to do with it? Organise a game of Quidditch with the boys? It's just junk taking us space in my house where fresh air should be. At some point I am going to have to move house and pack that fucker. Notice the big 'Age 4+' logo on it. Did she not take this as a hint? She bought it from one of the shops at the new 'World of Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios in Florida. That's right people, she made sure she had space in her suitcase for that.

I have a bit of a sad crush on Miley Cyrus which a few of my friends know about, so I get Hannah Montana make up kits and watches and stuff bought for me on my birthday. They're taking the piss and it is funny. What is my sister-in-law on?

What strange shit have you been bought over the years?

I was given a Stoke City toothbrush last Christmas. I use it to polish the awkward bits on my shoes.

My aunty once bought me a bible for my fourteenth birthday!

Must have thought I was going to be a vicar when I grew up?

Once remember my brother getting a postal order (a bit like a cheque if you don't know what one of them is) for what in today’s money is worth about 10p!

He was old enough to be working back then and his daily bus fare to and from Trafford Park cost more than the postal order was worth!

I once got a box of chocolates from my aunt with some of the chocolates already eaten. What made it even more insulting was that the mean bitch did not even pay for the chocolates - they were a gift her husband had received as he ran a catering company.

I once bought the ex wife a Vacuum Cleaner for Christmas.

Banks of the Croal wrote:I once bought the ex wife a Vacuum Cleaner for Christmas.

I can see why she's your ex wife.

I was 12 and I asked for a football shirt for my birthday , my old man came home from work with my present and came down to the park where the street teams were playing matches . I came off the pitch to get the shirt ,I'd already told the lads what I was getting and they all burst out laughing as my old man gave me a plastic junior golfers kit . How evil was that, he did it to humiliate me ,he was a nice sort.

xmiles wrote:

Banks of the Croal wrote:I once bought the ex wife a Vacuum Cleaner for Christmas.

I can see why she's your ex wife.

So can i, the Cookery book , didn't go down too well, either.

My mum loves to shop at Home Bargains.

So every christmas, I come downstairs to a mountain of presents, and half of them are just basic essentials that costed less than a pound, such as bubble bath and shower gel. They also sell gadgets for a couple of quid such as bedside alarm clocks that have a button you can press which will project the time onto your bedroom ceiling when it's dark in the middle of the night; I got one of those last year!

My Malcolm's got me some lingerie for Christmas.

I've seen them under his bed.

In the late 60s my musical tastes were Hendrix, Cream, Doors etc.
For 3 years in a row my Auntie bought me the "Top of the Pops" album. This particular piece of memorabilia didn't even have the original "artists" - it was session musicians covering popular music offerings of the year, the last including a cover of Dave Edmunds' "I hear you knockin'" in 1970 - which itself was a cover of Smiley Lewis's original - so I got a cover of a cover.
Each year, I thanked her graciously - big mistake. It was only when she recognised the vinyl ashtray I was using when she visited that she stopped and I don't think I've had a Xmas present from her since although TBF she did emigrate to SA.