You are not connected. Please login or register

Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote

A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Empty A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote on Thu Apr 30 2015, 17:43

Chairmanda

Chairmanda
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Does anyone have one?

Guest


Guest
It might be just a rumour. ......but someone told me that a certain aged celebrity male is disguised as a lurker on here manda. Someone that you have a tale about.

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It's not Bruce. He's tied up in my loft.
I'm planning a bank job in Hendon,and he got wind of it and threatened to dob me in to the cops,unless I let him in on it. 
I've met him half way,and we're going in dressed as giant playing cards wearing Brucie masks.
Can't wait for the Crimewatch version.
I've arranged for him to be released when we've escaped safely to Cuba.
Keep this under your hat.

Chairmanda

Chairmanda
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Woo hoo! You are back! So pleased Mr Bonce!

Guest


Guest
@boltonbonce wrote:It's not Bruce. He's tied up in my loft.
I'm planning a bank job in Hendon,and he got wind of it and threatened to dob me in to the cops,unless I let him in on it. 
I've met him half way,and we're going in dressed as giant playing cards wearing Brucie masks.
Can't wait for the Crimewatch version.
I've arranged for him to be released when we've escaped safely to Cuba.
Keep this under your hat.

Smile

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
A few years ago I was driving home down a quiet country lane. Just as I approached a little village where the speed limit was reduced to 30 mph, I saw a little old lady walking along the pavement with a scruffy little mongrel on a lead. Just as I drew level, the dog bolted and ran straight under my car. I immediately braked but it was too late..
I stopped and could see that the dog was in a really bad way. It was unconscious and covered in blood and trembling as if in shock. It was before the days of mobile phones so I offered to take the lady and the dog into the village where I could find a payphone and call an emergency vet to have the dog put down. The old dear said she couldn't afford to pay an emergency vet but she didn't want it to suffer so was there any way I could put it out of its misery.
I then told her I would do my best and I then took the wheel brace out of my boot and hit the dog over the head with all my might. The dog suddenly stopped moving and went still. I put it on some old newspapers and put it in the boot and dropped the old lady off at her house in the village together with the dead dog. I offered my sincere apologies and she thanked me and said she would bury the dog the next day.

Imagine my surprise when driving through the village a week later, I came across the old lady walking the same bloody dog with a huge bandage wrapped around its head.

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
Despite your best efforts, eh RT?

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Jesus RT, is that actually a true story?

First you ran it over and mangled it, then you smashed it over the head with a wheel brace?

Not sure I could do that, putting it out of its misery or not.

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Bwfc1958 wrote:Jesus RT, is that actually a true story?


No, not really. I read it in a Viz magazine and pissed my sides. Very Happy

10A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Empty Re: A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote on Fri May 01 2015, 12:33

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
Very Happy  Thought it sounded a bit far fetched.

11A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Empty Re: A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote on Fri May 01 2015, 12:36

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Bwfc1958 wrote:Very Happy  Thought it sounded a bit far fetched.
I was also at a loss to see where the 'heartwarming' bit came in. Shocked

12A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Empty Re: A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote on Fri May 01 2015, 13:44

rammywhite

rammywhite
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
@Reebok Trotter wrote:A few years ago I was driving home down a quiet country lane. Just as I approached a little village where the speed limit was reduced to 30 mph, I saw a little old lady walking along the pavement with a scruffy little mongrel on a lead. Just as I drew level, the dog bolted and ran straight under my car. I immediately braked but it was too late..
I stopped and could see that the dog was in a really bad way. It was unconscious and covered in blood and trembling as if in shock. It was before the days of mobile phones so I offered to take the lady and the dog into the village where I could find a payphone and call an emergency vet to have the dog put down. The old dear said she couldn't afford to pay an emergency vet but she didn't want it to suffer so was there any way I could put it out of its misery.
I then told her I would do my best and I then took the wheel brace out of my boot and hit the dog over the head with all my might. The dog suddenly stopped moving and went still. I put it on some old newspapers and put it in the boot and dropped the old lady off at her house in the village together with the dead dog. I offered my sincere apologies and she thanked me and said she would bury the dog the next day.

Imagine my surprise when driving through the village a week later, I came across the old lady walking the same bloody dog with a huge bandage wrapped around its hea



Last edited by rammywhite on Fri May 01 2015, 13:45; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Deleted for being abit sick!!)

13A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Empty Re: A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote on Fri May 01 2015, 14:10

Guest


Guest
Yup, miles less sick now, Rammy.

That "d" you deleted off the last word makes all the difference and completely changes the context of the whole piece.

Very Happy

14A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Empty Re: A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote on Fri May 01 2015, 16:24

Numpty 28723

Numpty 28723
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
@Reebok Trotter wrote:
@Bwfc1958 wrote:Jesus RT, is that actually a true story?


No, not really. I read it in a Viz magazine and pissed my sides. Very Happy 

Speaking of Viz -
A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote Letter_171

Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum