A gently amusing, heartwarming anecdote

boltonbonce wrote:It's not Bruce. He's tied up in my loft.
I'm planning a bank job in Hendon,and he got wind of it and threatened to dob me in to the cops,unless I let him in on it. 
I've met him half way,and we're going in dressed as giant playing cards wearing Brucie masks.
Can't wait for the Crimewatch version.
I've arranged for him to be released when we've escaped safely to Cuba.
Keep this under your hat.

Bwfc1958 wrote:Jesus RT, is that actually a true story?

Bwfc1958 wrote:  Thought it sounded a bit far fetched.

Reebok Trotter wrote:A few years ago I was driving home down a quiet country lane. Just as I approached a little village where the speed limit was reduced to 30 mph, I saw a little old lady walking along the pavement with a scruffy little mongrel on a lead. Just as I drew level, the dog bolted and ran straight under my car. I immediately braked but it was too late..
I stopped and could see that the dog was in a really bad way. It was unconscious and covered in blood and trembling as if in shock. It was before the days of mobile phones so I offered to take the lady and the dog into the village where I could find a payphone and call an emergency vet to have the dog put down. The old dear said she couldn't afford to pay an emergency vet but she didn't want it to suffer so was there any way I could put it out of its misery.
I then told her I would do my best and I then took the wheel brace out of my boot and hit the dog over the head with all my might. The dog suddenly stopped moving and went still. I put it on some old newspapers and put it in the boot and dropped the old lady off at her house in the village together with the dead dog. I offered my sincere apologies and she thanked me and said she would bury the dog the next day.

Imagine my surprise when driving through the village a week later, I came across the old lady walking the same bloody dog with a huge bandage wrapped around its hea

Reebok Trotter wrote:

Bwfc1958 wrote:Jesus RT, is that actually a true story?

No, not really. I read it in a Viz magazine and pissed my sides.