Happy Birthday Amos

 
Happy Birthday.

happy birthday 71
have yourself a great day
hope it is everything you wanted
i just had that to say

happy birthday Amos, have a great one

Happy birthday Mr Amos
But I couldn't give a toss
You once said DIE BITCH DIE
Although perhaps you were high

Your tales of Holland are legendary
Although some said you lived in Bury
You said your bird was a looker
But in fact she was just a hooker

You once carried a lot of weight
But shed the pounds so you could get a date
You took her home to see her fanny
But realised you'd pulled a tranny

You once had sex with Natalie Imbruglia
On a futon at Warrington Ikea
She laughed at your little dick
And got out of there bloody quick

Years ago you grassed Big Sharps up to his boss
At first they seemed not to give a toss
But credit to you as you persisted
And celebrated by being fisted

Natasha Whittam wrote:Happy birthday Mr Amos
But I couldn't give a toss
You once said DIE BITCH DIE
Although perhaps you were high

Your tales of Holland are legendary
Although some said you lived in Bury
You said your bird was a looker
But in fact she was just a hooker

You once carried a lot of weight
But shed the pounds so you could get a date
You took her home to see her fanny
But realised you'd pulled a tranny

You once had sex with Natalie Imbruglia
On a futon at Warrington Ikea
She laughed at your little dick
And got out of there bloody quick

Years ago you grassed Big Sharps up to his boss
At first they seemed not to give a toss
But credit to you as you persisted
And celebrated by being fisted

on the mans birthday for gods sake
today of all days
couldn't you have picked another one
for you to have your say

he's surely not the first one
to have held you in such regard
maybe he just needs a cuddle
and for you to fondle his lard

maybe he's the one you've been looking for
no more need to use a dating site
maybe if you find true love dear nat
you will stop talking so much shite

Happy birthday mate 

Have a great day.

He had a letter printed in the BN a few weeks ago with reference to various changes to buses in Bolton. The points were all valid, however he put his name and address as C Amos, Amsterdam.
A few days later a woman replied and ripped him a new arsehole on the fact what does he know about it living in Amsterdam? Name and address supplied would have been more appropriate in this instance!
Happy Birthday?!

Natasha Whittam wrote:Happy birthday Mr Amos
But I couldn't give a toss
You once said DIE BITCH DIE
Although perhaps you were high

Your tales of Holland are legendary
Although some said you lived in Bury
You said your bird was a looker
But in fact she was just a hooker

You once carried a lot of weight
But shed the pounds so you could get a date
You took her home to see her fanny
But realised you'd pulled a tranny

You once had sex with Natalie Imbruglia
On a futon at Warrington Ikea
She laughed at your little dick
And got out of there bloody quick

Years ago you grassed Big Sharps up to his boss
At first they seemed not to give a toss
But credit to you as you persisted
And celebrated by being fisted

Leave the poems to them as can,
You carry on just being a man!

Happy Birthday Chris.

Have a great day.

Soul Kitchen wrote:He had a letter printed in the BN a few weeks ago with reference to various changes to buses in Bolton. The points were all valid, however he put his name and address as C Amos, Amsterdam.
A few days later a woman replied and ripped him a new arsehole on the fact what does he know about it living in Amsterdam? Name and address supplied would have been more appropriate in this instance!
Happy Birthday?!

He genuinely commutes between Bolton and Amsterdam and he is particularly strict when it comes to buses not running on time. He is like a walking almanac when it comes to bus timetables.

PS. Happy Birthday Chris.

Happy Birthday 71 

RT I know the score, the respondent didn't and ripped him one!

Cheers one and all

And RT is totally correct - I do live in Bolton and do travel quite often back to my old apartment just outside Amsterdam - I give my Dutch address as I once had a letter printed with UK address and someone took a key to my car - all down the side, and threw eggs at my door - so since then always given my Dutch address.

And yes what I don't know about the buses in Bolton is not worth knowing!  ;-)

Natasha Whittam wrote:

You once carried a lot of weight
But shed the pounds so you could get a date
You took her home to see her fanny
But realised you'd pulled a tranny

In light of recent revelations, I regret this bit.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Natasha Whittam wrote:

You once carried a lot of weight
But shed the pounds so you could get a date
You took her home to see her fanny
But realised you'd pulled a tranny

In light of recent revelations, I regret this bit.

i'm sure he see's the funny side Nat.