X Factor

I never watch X Factor because it's shit and it pretty much demonstrates everything that's wrong with modern society but I'm just watching five minutes of it now as I wait for the rugby to come on.

It's the end of the show and they're playing musical chairs.

Tears, tension, snot, hype, controversy, blah, blah....what a load of bollocks.

It's obviously pre-determined what's going to happen and I can't believe so many people still think it's kosher.

Utter fucking dross and if I had my way, it'd be banned.

Simon's not happy that he's got the over-25's, you know.

doffcocker wrote:Simon's not happy that he's got the over-25's, you know.

Well that's good.

Long may his misery continue.

If his pants get any higher he'll be breathing through his fly.

Simon Cowell, Jose Mourinho and George Osborne.

One gun, two bullets.

Who survives?

Breadman wrote:Simon Cowell, Jose Mourinho and George Osborne.

One gun, two bullets.

Who survives?

Shoot cowell and mourinho then bludgeon osborne with the butt of the gun

I'd probably shoot myself in the foot.

Two different answers but both correct. 

I'm sure most of these people are miming.

y2johnny wrote:

Breadman wrote:Simon Cowell, Jose Mourinho and George Osborne.

One gun, two bullets.

Who survives?

Shoot cowell and mourinho then bludgeon osborne with the butt of the gun

I have to say that I couldn't just shoot Osborne dead like that, I would have to torture him for a while first.

Every song has just been depressing as hell. Can someone not come on and sing the birdy song or Aggadoo.

The show needs a top class entertainer to show them how it's done.

Thanks KP.

I didn't want to name him myself. People might assume I had an agenda.

It gets worse.

First they announce that the judge's houses aren't actually their houses. Missus was very disappointed as she's a nosey bugger. Looks like they've rented a Travel Lodge in Rome.

Then they say the remaining contestants have been recording at the (not the) judge's houses for weeks so it's pretty much a done deal who progresses. 

But to squeeze even more airtime out of it, they've introduced an additional 30 minute slot so that they can all beg.

I've seen this format in the States years ago and never thought this level of dumbing down would be accepted in the UK (until the Apprentice) but it's finally here.

It's all heading down the road towards that film with Arnie where they hunted down and killed people in a game show, later reprised and given a light coat of paint in the Hunger Games.

Barb Dwyer wrote:Every song has just been depressing as hell. Can someone not come on and sing the birdy song or Aggadoo.

As long as they don't sing anything I've got respect for, I'm happy.

wanderlust wrote:
First they announce that the judge's houses aren't actually their houses.

I thought this was always pretty obvious.

I never thought they'd actually choose to announce it though.

What next?

"We want to make it clear, just to avoid any confusion, this whole thing is scripted!"

I've told this story before on here but a few years ago I was working at Jacobs in Liverpool and one of the contestants worked there, as did his Dad.

(Craig - camp, fat lad.)

Because his Dad was a thick scouser who packed biscuits all day for a living, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box and whilst they were still supposedly deciding who would progress to the live shows on telly, he was walking round showing anybody who'd take him on pictures on his phone of their Craig at Robbie Williams' place in LA.

It turned out that he'd been over there for weeks but the public were still being asked to ring in and vote for their favourite in the hope that they'd get picked to go to the judges' houses.

It's all rigged right from the off.

Craig was a member of some theatre group in Liverpool and they'd been contacted by Cowell's people and asked if they had any suitable candidates for the show, ie can sing a bit and had a bit of a back story.

None of it's random and every facet of the show is scripted.

doffcocker wrote:

wanderlust wrote:
First they announce that the judge's houses aren't actually their houses.

I thought this was always pretty obvious.

My understanding was that in previous years it actually was their pads but not so this year which is why they had to make the disclaimer.