Bonce's own personal thread. Vol III (The 'Nice to see you' years).

Just had a letter from Belfast. 

I'm eligible for a Winter fuel payment.

A nice Brucie bonus every year for you there!

It'll be nice to see it....to see it,nice.

The letter states  that I won't get it if I'm in prison.

But I can still get it if I receive a state pension,and live in Switzerland.

Go to Switzerland then Boncey, there's no extradition treaty so it's win win. ps could you pick me up a large toblerone

No problem Wots. But I'd pass on the Swiss cheese if I were you.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/13/swiss-cheese-pervert_mayfair-pennsylvania_n_4589208.html

Those holes are too big for me bonce, it would be like doing a bucket of wallpaper paste

+ my family pack of Leerdamer would kill me if it found out. Hell have no fury like a family pack of dutch cheese scorned

Ok. I'll just bring you some pipe tobacco. 
I had a bugger of a job lighting mine.

Why did the swiss roll



because it saw the apple turnover

You'll do well on here Wots. Your jokes are worse than mine.

And,as I'm sure Breadman will confirm,that takes some doing.

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb

2 - one to change the bulb and the other to hold my cock ladder

I don't trust the stairs.

They're always up to something.

They just drag me down

I can hear Nat clanking into gear. Luckily,she won't lower herself to come onto this thread,so we may be spared the full force of her wrath.

It's always nice to have a Tash free area.

She doesn't scare me boncey, she's all fur coat and no knickers