Have you ever blagged an interview.

bwfc1874 wrote:Not sure that counts as blagging, unless you were wearing a disguise of some sort?

Bollotom2014 wrote:Aye. RAF gave me a job and I think it was because of my dad and grandad. The board president asked me if I'd done any flying and I said I'd been to the Costa del Sol twice. The board grimaced more than laughed but must have liked me as they offered me the job.

Breadman wrote:Yes.

In fact, I've paid my mortgage off by doing it.

"Do you have specific experience of X?" they ask when you meet the client.

"But of course!" you say with a beaming grin on your fizzer, "I wrote the book on it."


You then shake hands on the deal, go home and buy the "X For Dummies" book on Amazon and cram like an Asian medical student.

You learn some key phrases, create some spreadsheets to email out to everybody and get them to put wipe boards up so that you can gather everybody round them on a daily basis and use your key phrases whilst looking at KPI graphs that you've just made up 5 minutes beforehand.

And by the time they've sussed you out, your 4 month contract's almost up and you've already sourced your next one, having banked a few quid (plus expenses) along the way.

And because you've devised the KPI metrics and only you properly understand the calculations you can make them say what you want so it looks like you've improved their business and implemented "long-term, sustainable solutions which are robust and will continue to deliver improved levels of performance for the foreseeable."

And when you leave and they all stop doing what you've suggested, performance dips off (because you're not fiddling the KPI data any longer) and it looks like it was you that made the difference and they think you must have done a great job.

Easy peasy.

Bollotom2014 wrote:Aye. RAF gave me a job and I think it was because of my dad and grandad. The board president asked me if I'd done any flying and I said I'd been to the Costa del Sol twice. The board grimaced more than laughed but must have liked me as they offered me the job.

Breadman wrote:Yes.

In fact, I've paid my mortgage off by doing it.

"Do you have specific experience of X?" they ask when you meet the client.

"But of course!" you say with a beaming grin on your fizzer, "I wrote the book on it."


You then shake hands on the deal, go home and buy the "X For Dummies" book on Amazon and cram like an Asian medical student.

You learn some key phrases, create some spreadsheets to email out to everybody and get them to put wipe boards up so that you can gather everybody round them on a daily basis and use your key phrases whilst looking at KPI graphs that you've just made up 5 minutes beforehand.

And by the time they've sussed you out, your 4 month contract's almost up and you've already sourced your next one, having banked a few quid (plus expenses) along the way.

And because you've devised the KPI metrics and only you properly understand the calculations you can make them say what you want so it looks like you've improved their business and implemented "long-term, sustainable solutions which are robust and will continue to deliver improved levels of performance for the foreseeable."

And when you leave and they all stop doing what you've suggested, performance dips off (because you're not fiddling the KPI data any longer) and it looks like it was you that made the difference and they think you must have done a great job.

Easy peasy.

Mr Magoo wrote:My wall is fine.

Breadman wrote:Yes.

In fact, I've paid my mortgage off by doing it.

"Do you have specific experience of X?" they ask when you meet the client.

"But of course!" you say with a beaming grin on your fizzer, "I wrote the book on it."


You then shake hands on the deal, go home and buy the "X For Dummies" book on Amazon and cram like an Asian medical student.

You learn some key phrases, create some spreadsheets to email out to everybody and get them to put wipe boards up so that you can gather everybody round them on a daily basis and use your key phrases whilst looking at KPI graphs that you've just made up 5 minutes beforehand.

And by the time they've sussed you out, your 4 month contract's almost up and you've already sourced your next one, having banked a few quid (plus expenses) along the way.

And because you've devised the KPI metrics and only you properly understand the calculations you can make them say what you want so it looks like you've improved their business and implemented "long-term, sustainable solutions which are robust and will continue to deliver improved levels of performance for the foreseeable."

And when you leave and they all stop doing what you've suggested, performance dips off (because you're not fiddling the KPI data any longer) and it looks like it was you that made the difference and they think you must have done a great job.

Easy peasy.

Breadman wrote:That's not a real panda - it's a cartoon.

The other ones had real pandas in them.

boltonbonce wrote:

Breadman wrote:That's not a real panda - it's a cartoon.

The other ones had real pandas in them.

Don't be so picky.