Serious question - how important are looks when it comes to dating?

At work over the last year I got quite chatty with this woman on another team when in the kitchen. We always chatted well and smiled and acknowledged each other whenever we saw each other, but she never gave me any signs she was interested in me. 
She is quite attractive looking but doesn't make a huge amount of effort with her looks, so I thought she may not place huge importance on looks.
Anyway, I heard she was single from someone on her team so before Christmas I was asking her about her plans for over Christmas and I said "Well if you ever fancy meeting me for a drink, I'd be really happy to meet you". But she looked awkward and said "well that's kind but I am going to be pretty busy to be honest" - before walking off. 
I am pretty sure she is not interested in me because I am big boned. I do say to people, looks seem a really important factor to people when it comes to dating, but then a lot of people say no it isn't. So in your opinion, what is the reality of the importance of looks when it comes to dating?

I think you should try friends reunited

Hi Michael. I'll be honest and say I know exactly where you're coming from on this. I'm not ever going to be mistaken for an Adonis or Tom Cruise type of guy. The truth is that looks are important to most people men and women and that's just the way it is. I got lucky when I met my second wife, she's very pretty (to me at least) and I was more than a little surprised when Wendy talked to me at my brother's wedding. When the day was almost over I suggested we meet up somewhere the following day fully expecting what you got from your colleague, a polite brush off. 

However, I do want to ask you something. When you suggested meeting up for a drink did you leave it general or did you suggest a specific time and place? In my humble opinion if you did the former that may have made her believe you weren't all that serious about it which is why you got brushed off with a "sorry I'll be busy". 

One other thing, did you find out if she's already in a relationship? That's really key and could easily be why she said no in a way that was meant to do as little damage to your feelings as possible. I have a lot of female colleagues at work that I get on with very well and did before I met Wendy but some of them were against dating people from work full stop, some were already with someone and some were looking for someone better looking and younger. I guess the main thing you need to find out if you can is why you were turned down. If it's something you can fix then go ahead and do it. But it may be she's not interested in you that way for a more solid reason than your waist size mate.

Hello Mike, I think women loved you more and wanted to date you secretly on the quiet when you threatened to kill people and put them in sport bags then bury them under your patio.

Should this not be on Wandering minds?

Scott's right, you've lost your edge MB. Women like bad boys who put people in suitcases.

To answer your question, looks are important, I can't imagine dating someone I didn't fancy. I wouldn't let being big boned put you off though, there are plenty of bog boned women with pretty faces and chins.

Well I got talking one lunch time with this guy at work and he doesn't have any luck with women either, he asks women out the day they arrive on the first day in their new job which seems a bit odd. I told him about how I sort of asked this woman out but she clearly wasn't interested (luckypeterpiper - she is single) and this guy at work said to me "Women like men who are twats". I said to him - "well I am not being funny, but if that is the case why not start acting like a twat around women?" He didn't really reply to that.
I don't believe women like twats but whatever it is women like and want it doesn't seem to be me.

Michael Bolton wrote:
I don't believe women like twats but whatever it is women like and want it doesn't seem to be me.

I'll always love you MB. Have you tried internet dating, takes the awkwardness out of it a little. You get to know someone via messaging and almost feel like you know that person when you finally meet them.

Ffs

Just because you're loved up Johnny don't presume everyone is.

Hmmmmmn

Women love an older man,with a hint of 'cool'.

You might want to try talking to her about other stuff to see if you actually have anything in common before asking her out. It's good that you enjoy chatting so why not keep that up and broaden the subject matter. If you have a common interest and enjoy each other's company/banter then it would be entirely reasonable to broach the subject of going out for a meal or a drink.
Don't be too eager - most women don't like that in my experience. I'm not saying "play it cool" - I'm saying show that you're interested in her, the person by paying attention and asking pertinent questions.
You may find out the answer to your question. You may find out she likes twats - and other parts of the female anatomy. You may find out that she's a dickhead. You may find out she was busy because she cares for her ageing parents. It could be a thousand reasons. And you may find out she's great. Point is, take the time to get to know her better and don't rush.

What has this thread got to do with Bolton Wanderers?
Sluffy get a grip please?

Soul Kitchen wrote:What has this thread got to do with Bolton Wanderers?

Wrong forum you pillock!

Thanx for placing the thread in the right place.

Soul Kitchen wrote:Thanx for placing the thread in the right place.

No worries.

It gets my OCD as well!

I look very much like Mr Darcy.

when you have a willy the size of a small arm you don't need looks.