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I've Joined A Dating Website

+10
karlypants
Copper Dragon
BoltonTillIDie
Soul Kitchen
Hipster_Nebula
bwfc71
boltonbonce
Boggersbelief
doffcocker
Natasha Whittam
14 posters

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1I've Joined A Dating Website Empty I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 17:37

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Be honest, you expected this topic to have been started by Hipster, Boggers or Doffcocker. But no, I, Natasha Whittam, have decided to take the plunge and join a dating website.

I'm tired of meeting footballers, Z-list celebs, millionaires and all the other wankers I've dated over the years. What I need is a real man. One who reads The Sun or The Mirror, can put up a bookshelf, and doesn't try and burn my genitalia off.

There appears to be lots of dating websites to choose from, but they all seem to want you to sell yourself in the form of an introduction. So I've had a go and I could do with your thoughts and constructive criticism:

Natasha wrote:Hot Businesswoman of the Year, 29, seeks real man for marriage, children and cuddles. I like Vimto, Twirls and Rob Earnshaw. You must be aged 28-45, own your own teeth, be able to do manly things like build and mend, although men with blow-torches will be ignored.

Do you think I'll find the future Mr Whittam?

2I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 17:51

doffcocker

doffcocker
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

I read the Mirror, I can put up a bookshelf, I wouldn't put a light to your vagina.

If only I were six years older.

3I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 17:54

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

doffcocker wrote:If only I were six years older.


And straight.

4I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 18:25

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I really don't think this is a joking matter.

Anyway, I've posted the above introduction on a well known dating website with several photos of me with celebs.

5I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 18:28

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Natasha Whittam wrote:I really don't think this is a joking matter.

Anyway, I've posted the above introduction on a well known dating website with several photos of me with celebs.

Post the link to your profile

6I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 18:34

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Boggersbelief wrote:

Post the link to your profile

You're too young for me.

7I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 18:39

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

::sulk::

8I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 18:40

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I can get you an introduction to Brucie if you'd lower your standards a little.
He's looking for a younger model since Mrs Brucie put her back out shifting the piano.

9I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:05

Guest


Guest

Is that you on the extreme left, Nat?

I've Joined A Dating Website UndateablesMAIN_1652207y

10I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:08

bwfc71

bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Breadman wrote:Is that you on the extreme left, Nat?

I've Joined A Dating Website UndateablesMAIN_1652207y

The one sat on the white block, you mean Breaders?

11I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:09

Hipster_Nebula

Hipster_Nebula
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Is that the "undateables" one of those dudes used to get on my bus when I was at College.

12I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:10

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Is that the "undateables" one of those dudes used to get on my bus when I was at College.

It's always about you isn't it.

13I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:13

Guest


Guest

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Is that the "undateables" one of those dudes used to get on my bus when I was at College.

Was it a Sunshine bus?

I've long held my suspicions about you, Hipster.....

14I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:20

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

My first reply is in:

JasonBourney wrote:Hi SexyBusinessWoman69. My name is Jason and I am 32 years old. I love your profile, you look like my kind of woman! I'm into TV, films & fisting - what about you? Shout me back ASAP. Jase

15I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:25

Guest


Guest

You'd better hope that should've been "fishing" and he's a sloppy typist........

Ask him to send you a photo of his tackle to prove he's genuine.

16I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:29

Soul Kitchen

Soul Kitchen
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Nat, Ffs are you into the same substances as 1874, or are you actually 1874?
Your fantasies are well beyond attainability, you must be on some sort of shit!!

17I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:35

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Soul Kitchen wrote:Nat, Ffs are you into the same substances as 1874, or are you actually 1874?
Your fantasies are well beyond attainability, you must be on some sort of shit!!

Everyone deserves love SK, even Businesswomen of the Year.

18I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:46

bwfc71

bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Natasha Whittam wrote:My first reply is in:

JasonBourney wrote:Hi SexyBusinessWoman69. My name is Jason and I am 32 years old. I love your profile, you look like my kind of woman! I'm into TV, films & fisting - what about you? Shout me back ASAP. Jase


Jason "Trigger" McAteer by any chance?

19I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:51

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

bwfc71 wrote:

Jason "Trigger" McAteer by any chance?

Why do you say that, is he into fisting and films?

20I've Joined A Dating Website Empty Re: I've Joined A Dating Website Mon Aug 25 2014, 19:58

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Nat, be careful - he sounds like a secret agent.

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