Good excuses for ringing in sick.

I've had no sick for over two years, and I'm feeling left out, especially when some people throw one or maybe two a year.

So I'm going to have a week off, starting tomorrow.

I'm going to chill, do some painting and maybe watch  some films, whilst still getting paid of course.

So, I'm thinking of the shits, is there anything better than the shits?

scottjames30 wrote:I've had no sick for over two years, and I'm feeling left out, especially when some people throw one or maybe two a year.

So I'm going to have a week off, starting tomorrow.

I'm going to chill, do some painting and maybe watch  some films, whilst still getting paid of course.

So, I'm thinking of the shits, is there anything better than the shits?

The best one if your boss is male is to say you have "ladies downstairs problems". He'll be too embarrassed to dig deeper and you'll be free to skive off for as long as you want.

Wankers cramp ?

i work for the NHS and they very kindly tell you exactly how much time off sick you can have before they make an issue of it, very good of them i think 

For the record it's either over 18 days in total or 4 separate absences in a 12 month period and there are plenty of people who know how to play it just right

At one place I worked there was a guy that had the same week off sick every year and no one from Personnel ever said anything about it, his supervisor even used to joke about it, unbelievable.

remember playing a works five a side tournament, about 3 lads did ankles / knees and rang in. Suffice to say there was no more work sponsored football , however we where the permanent holders of the trophy, which sat on my desk given I scored the winning Pen in the final.

Fabians Right Peg wrote:given I scored the winning Pen in the final.

Prove it.

No proof of my five minutes of semi stardom, however I do have a pic of the winning team, you'll have to guess which one I am.

The tall one at the back who is clearly just walking by and pretending to be part of the team.

Fabians Right Peg wrote:
No proof of my five minutes of semi stardom, however I do have a pic of the winning team, you'll have to guess which one I am.

it's no wonder you won when you have Hierro playing for you, you tried to hide him at the back but i spotted him 

Fabians Right Peg wrote:
No proof of my five minutes of semi stardom, however I do have a pic of the winning team, you'll have to guess which one I am.

Is that Urban Vision in Swinton were only 6 people work?

Urban vision at the time was the Salford Council engineering and housing arm had a few hundred employees.

So if its not there any longer, did it not live up to its name ?

I once worked at a place in Atherton and I hated it so I had quite a lot of fake sick days. I had used so many I couldn't think of anything else so I rang in one morning and told them that I couldn't come to work today because we've only got one set of keys for our house and my Mrs has gone out and locked the door so there's no way i can get out. I'm locked in for the day. 

They sacked me soon after which was a relief. Shithole.

we had someone who worked out the hospital as a porter who came up with the best one yet, he said his girlfriend had handcuffed him to the bed during a bit of how's your father and lost the key 

He was let go soon after as well

The shits it was, just chilling watching point break.









Fuck um.

Your mother has been strangled by a John.

Not exactly on topic but close enough.

Some years back one of the managers where I worked took on a young man who had a prosthetic hand. Part of his job involved some manual dexterity.

On his first morning in work non of the other staff in the office had been briefed about him having a fake hand and were obviously concerned about his ability to do the job required of him - and them.

When asked by the staff why he had employed someone to do a dexterous job who only had one functioning hand, the bloke was absolutely gobsmacked and had no idea he had done so.

When asked 'surely the must have been some sort of disclosure on his application form and medical form' he replied as follows.

Yes there was mention of him having a congenital issue from birth but the manager had believed that meant he had trouble with his waterworks (he thought he was a bed wetter perhaps) and that he didn't see that as an issue in his ability to do the job!

To end on a happy note the young man proved to be excellent in his job and was a popular member of staff with his colleagues and went on to quickly be promoted higher in his chosen profession.

The manager who was a nice bloke himself - but a bit of a numpty which you can probably tell from this story - never lived the incident down!

I guess there probably is a moral in here somewhere as if the manager had not misunderstand the young mans disability he almost certainly would not have appointed him to the detriment of all.

I guess it is a good example of not being prejudicial and giving everybody an equal opportunity no matter what.