Sailing - Anybody know their main sheet from their jibstay?

Serious thread now, so don't all do your usual and start posting Captain Pugwash gags and pictures of Pandas wearing sailor hats.

I'm seriously considering buying a 36ft yacht and berthing it in the South of France with a view to using it as a retirement base in the sun.

And before you all go "Ooh, get her!", this is not just me trying to show off because said yacht is 20 years old and is only going to cost about fifteen grand, which is a damn sight cheaper than buying an apartment or a villa.

Problem is though......I've never even stood on the deck of a yacht and the only sailing I've ever done was in a Mirror Dinghy one weekend with the Scouts up Anglezarke about 30 years ago.

So I'm clueless.

Anybody know their way round a yacht?

Cheers in advance for taking this seriously and not taking the piss.

Because I know you lot won't do that.....

The key is making sure you have the best possible crew around you. 

Right, that's you not invited on-board for drinks in Cannes.

I did warn you.....

And here's something I never thought I'd type on here but I obviously need Magoo.

Anybody know where he is?

Being 20 years old it will be rotten, you will probably have to spend another 15 - 20 grand on it.

scottjames30 wrote:Being 20 years old it will be rotten, you will probably have to spend another 15 - 20 grand on it.

Fully re-furbed in 2013.

(I've seen the docs and certificates.)

Physically sound and seaworthy.

Breadman wrote:

scottjames30 wrote:Being 20 years old it will be rotten, you will probably have to spend another 15 - 20 grand on it.

Fully re-furbed in 2013.

(I've seen the docs and certificates.)

Physically sound and seaworthy.

Check the boat out first, make sure you don't fall through it.

Seriously though, it sounds like an amazing thing to have the opportunity to do. If you can afford it then go for it, what's the worst that could happen? As long as you don't take Boncey you'll be golden. 

Surely there's a YouTube video for this, there's a YouTube video for literally everything. 

Get it done. YOLO.

Cheers, 58.

The plan was always to get to about 50 and then sell up and move somewhere warm (within the EU.)

That may no longer be an affordable option after "certain recent events" which I'm not going to drag up again because it'll all probably kick off if I do.

This looks like a reasonably cheap way to semi-retire and spend 6 months a year in the sun while we weigh up the options and find somewhere more permanent.

Always thought you were a bit of a sailor bread

I'm not good on a boat.

It could be bad timing ( just coming out of the EU) but good luck.

Magoo is your man having owned a boat previously.

Edit: whoops just seen Magoo's name mentioned.

boltonbonce wrote:I'm not good on a boat.

Hahahaha

Breadman wrote:Serious thread now, so don't all do your usual and start posting Captain Pugwash gags and pictures of Pandas wearing sailor hats.

I'm seriously considering buying a 36ft yacht and berthing it in the South of France with a view to using it as a retirement base in the sun.

Don't listen to these bellends, clearly I am your only friend on here.

Are you seriously thinking of spending £15k on a yacht with absolutely no experience of sailing? If you are, think again as it will be fooking disaster and cost you far more than a villa in Bulgaria or Croatia.

It won't be like the films with hoards of beauties dancing on your deck until the early hours, letting you sip wine out of their navel. The berth and insurance alone will suck up tens of thousands a year. Then there's maintenance - think of all the work you have to do on a house, and then imagine that it's rocking back and forth on its foundations all the time. And in a marine environment everything that can will corrode, which, along with the constant vibration, will play havoc with moving parts. And like owning a flash car, everything seems to cost about three times what it ought.

I know fook all about boats but my Uncle is crazy about them. We spent many rainy holidays on his boat wishing it would sink. He slowly learned it was a piss-poor investment (notice how whenever you drive past a European marina there are always loads of boats with tarps over them, rusting away. They're not worth sailing and not worth selling.) Very recently (and 20 years too late) my Uncle said that there are two happiest days in a boat-owners life - the day he buys a boat, and the day he sells it.

You can thank me when you're the proud owner of a villa on dry land.

I bet Mrs B is really looking forward to it.

boltonbonce wrote:I bet Mrs B is really looking forward to it.

Looks like Phillip Green has downgraded his boat.

I suppose it's like buying an aeroplane and not knowing how to fly?

How hard can it be?

It's like driving but without things to crash into.

I passed my driving test when I was 17 and I can't see this being any harder.

Thanks to Nat for the only serious advice thus far offered on the thread but you've not put me off.

I still think it'll be a fairly inexpensive option.

scottjames30 wrote:I suppose it's like buying an aeroplane and not knowing how to fly?

Another no no for me. I land with style though.