Bonce The Massive Gobshite

So a few weeks ago Bonce says he's made his last post due to shabby treatment meted out by the bellend mods. In an act of solidarity I decided to stop posting.

But I didn't leave it at that. I glued myself to Slough Town Hall, grassed up the occupants of the queue behind the BB bins to their wives, and took a dump on BTID's seat at the Macron before every home game - all as a protest against their heavy handed treatment of Bonce.

But after logging on by accident (I meant to type Chorley Nuts) what did I find? All is forgotten and Bonce is braiding the Mods' hair and singing Kumbaya round the BB bins.

The man is a massive fuckwit, his word means nothing.

Please ignore him from now on.

Natasha Whittam wrote:So a few weeks ago Bonce says he's made his last post due to shabby treatment meted out by the bellend mods. In an act of solidarity I decided to stop posting.

But I didn't leave it at that. I glued myself to Slough Town Hall, grassed up the occupants of the queue behind the BB bins to their wives, and took a dump on BTID's seat at the Macron before every home game - all as a protest against their heavy handed treatment of Bonce.

But after logging on by accident (I meat to type Chorley Nuts) what did I find? All is forgotten and Bonce is braiding the Mods' hair and singing Kumbaya round the BB bins.

The man is a massive fuckwit, his word means nothing.

Please ignore him from now on.

Outrageous!
You come back in here, twirling your tassels, and have the nerve to accuse ME of being a fuckwit. You know very well you promised to help me get my hair salon up and running.
And after one day, I find you've opened your own place up the road, with sun beds to boot.
Not only that, you'd persuaded Alphonso, my main stylist, to join you.
How you must have laughed over the curlers, as you made your plans. Is it any wonder I returned to Nuts, for comfort?
Alphonso blanked me at the penile dysfunction clinic yesterday. I hope you're happy.
However, You can't help who you are, and, in light of that, I forgive you.
Welcome home, you back stabbing old cow.

Natasha Whittam wrote:So a few weeks ago Bonce says he's made his last post due to shabby treatment meted out by the bellend mods. In an act of solidarity I decided to stop posting.

But I didn't leave it at that. I glued myself to Slough Town Hall, grassed up the occupants of the queue behind the BB bins to their wives, and took a dump on BTID's seat at the Macron before every home game - all as a protest against their heavy handed treatment of Bonce.

But after logging on by accident (I meat to type Chorley Nuts) what did I find? All is forgotten and Bonce is braiding the Mods' hair and singing Kumbaya round the BB bins.

The man is a massive fuckwit, his word means nothing.

Please ignore him from now on.

Wow, I never knew it was you who was glued to the old Town Hall, I just thought  you were some old bag lady taking shelter in the empty offices now that the new Town Hall opened two years ago.

In fact I took pity on you and tried to give you some items of food (although I did think you were by far the fattest tramp I had ever seen) and you threw the kit kat and the bottle of coke I'd brought for you back at me demanding I bring Twirls and Pepsi next time - how ungrateful of you I thought but I cut you some slack as you must have had gone through some horrendous incident at some point in your life to have such a lopsided bosom?

Still you've solved the mystery of who was singing the "Some one scored a goal, John Byrom" song behind the back of the BB off licence - they were dreadfully out of tune too. I much prefer the Lion Sleeps Tonight song myself, you can't go too far wrong singing that.

Anyway belated best wishes for your birthday just gone, I would have started a thread for you actually but I'd been called in by Sharon to see if I could solve the mystery of the Unibol seat shitter.  The CCTV has caught some blurry pictures of someone looking like Lurch from the Adams family and I clearly thought it was the phantom poo person in disguise.

Having now seen you outside the old Town Hall I now realise that they weren't blurry pictures at all and that you weren't in disguise either!

Uggghhhh!!!

Do I have to look at the title of this thread all week?
It's a disgrace.
My character is being assassinated in full view.
I've not been this angry since Norpig got his record player fixed.

boltonbonce wrote:Do I have to look at the title of this thread all week?
It's a disgrace.
My character is being assassinated in full view.
I've not been this angry since Norpig got his record player fixed.

Don't make me post some of my current favourites you massive gobshite 

At last, a chef I understand.

Right, why is this thread now a sticky!!!?

boltonbonce wrote:Right, why is this thread now a sticky!!!?

My money's on that wrongun KP 

Norpig wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Right, why is this thread now a sticky!!!?

My money's on that wrongun KP 

Not guilty.

karlypants wrote:

Norpig wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Right, why is this thread now a sticky!!!?

My money's on that wrongun KP 

Not guilty.

No longer a sticky. And a good job. My lawyers were straining at the leash.

Who took your photo for your avatar?

Natasha Whittam wrote:Who took your photo for your avatar?

Not bad is it? No idea who the old biddy is.

boltonbonce wrote:
Not bad is it? No idea who the old biddy is.

Barbara Cartland?