If you are a man, you must read this!

My name is Irina. I was born and lived all my life in Ukraine.
But 7 months ago I had to leave there. I think that the reasons for my departure should not be explained to anyone.
I am young beautiful I am 35 years old. I have never been married and have no children.
I cook very well, I have a good education. I don't need money!
On this forum I want to find a man aged 30 to 45 years.
Men respond, I beg you. I am very lonely and bored.
You can see my photo and phone number here. baleema.online
My nick is IRINKASOS. I will be glad to meet you.
Women please do not write!
I hope that I will be nice to someone and he will contact me.
All goodness and peace.

My name is Bonce. I am not 30-45 years old. But I am very good looking.
I'm not very demanding in the bedroom, but can perform, with the aid of an elastic bandage and a bamboo stick.
All I ask is some nicely cooked meals, and good conversation. There'll be very few chores for you to do.
The police are very obliging, and dig up the back garden about twice a year, so that's all taken care of.
You can contact me at my home address, which you can get care of the penile dysfunction clinic at Warrington G H.
I look forward to meeting you.

No news as yet, although I have been contacted by someone called Eric, who seemed overly interested in my bamboo stick.

I’m surprised that Natasha hasn’t been in here yet. This bloke sounds right up her street.

What in the actual... 

Some of it is not far off, mind you. I'm not much of a cook and I've never been to Ukraine, but I really like blue and yellow as a colour combination and have been described as young and beautiful.