Behind Enemy Lines - Coyle Becomes Wigan Manager

Ex-Bolton manager, fanny Coyle, is the new manager of Wigan Athletic. How did this go down in Wigan? Not very well to be honest. Read on and find out more.....

It's not unusual to find Owen Coyle and arse related words in the same sentence:

DiSantoPanto wrote:Woke up this morning to find Owen Coyle was our new manager. I was happier when the doctor told me I had Piles.

Pieman Lee blames the Chairman:

Pieman Lee wrote:Is this a fucking joke? The dickhead who got the shite relegated is the man to lead us back to the Premier League? Whelan is clearly ill.

Kelly-Anne starts a boycott:

Kelly_Anne wrote:OMG, how can this be happening, coyle will take us down to league 1. i'm going to text all my friends to tell them not to buy a season ticket

Coyle arse-fucked BWFC so it's only fair Wigan have some:

McCarthys Right Knee wrote:Steve McClaren or Owen Coyle? It's like choosing between Pete Burns or Boy George to fuck you up the arse

Teddy isn't a fan of Ngog. Join the club:

Teddy Riley wrote:Is this what it's come to, taking the inbreds rejects? This fucker will probably pay £10m for that shit fucker Ngog.

This guy knows Coyle too well:

Whelan's Wallet wrote:Expect a load of ex-Burnley shite to be Wigan players inside a week. That shit bastard Tyrone Mears will be top of the list.

We all feel your pain Raymond:

Razer Raymond wrote:im fukin spitin feathers about dis apointment, I feel like cutting someone bad

I feel Nancy is in for a big disappointment in her life:

NancyDrew wrote:Happy with this. Coyle did well at Burnley and was doing ok at Bolton before they got rid of him. I expect some attacking teams and plenty of good football.

Gordon hits the nail on the head:

Gordon1974 wrote:Nice chap, shit manager

Owen Coyle outfit, coming to a town centre near you very soon:

Mental_Mickey wrote:I fully expect to be parading around town wearing Owen Coyle's skin within 6 months, the shit bastard

Honest John has a better candidate:

Honest John wrote:I have spent my last pound in DW, fuck off Whelan you crazy cunt. I'd rather have fuckin' David Cameron in charge.

Fanny hasn't been getting much of late, he's quite tense:

Fanny_Magnet_23 wrote:Suck my tiny cock Coyle you cocksucker, fuck off back to Horwich Wanderers

Bobby is undecided:

Bobby425 wrote:It could have been worse. It could go either way with Coyle. He did well at Burnley, started well at Bolton but fucked it up big time. We won't be in the Championship this time next year, but I haven't a clue which way Coyle will take us.

This twat has pinched my catchphrase:

Immortal_Ian_G wrote:Coyle Out!

Pie Eater has the inside track......

Pie Eater World Champion wrote:I once did some building work for Own Coyle. He talks exactly like he does on TV......

Would you like a sandwich made with bread sponsored by Hovis?
I'm not sure I like that chimney stack but I'll take my medicine and go from there.
I shouldn't have paid you upfront but I'll learn from my mistakes.
I'm the best housewife I've ever been.

Nice guy though.

This guy has seen the future:

Let's Fly With Martinez wrote:I can see the headline in about 10 months:

"Coyle Gets FA Cup Holders Relegated.....Nice Man Though"

Plenty of Wigan fans had a brief welcome for Mr Coyle:

Fuck You Coyle

Suck my dick

Bolton wanker

Burnley arsewipe

Bolton CUNT!

I've just been sick over my Sky+ box

burnin me seeson ticket as we speek

Relegated by January, bankrupt by April

Come and sit with us you clueless fuckwit

Is he on a mission to relegate as many North West clubs as he can?

Coyle is no fan of the pie, he won't work here

Who put the Estate Agent in charge! Boring fucker!!

What a cunt

Fatman has a theory:

Fatman wrote:Is this the chap who tried to kill Fabrice Muamba? He even failed at that.

No9 prefers Take That to Owen Coyle:

No9 wrote:Oh for fucks sake, what an underwhelming choice. Whenever I see Owen Coyle I just see midtable bollocks. I'd have rather had Mark Owen from Take That.

You can't really argue with Cone:

Cone_with_99 wrote:Be afraid, be very afraid! This guy is absolutely clueless in the transfer market! Look at his signings for the inbreds...spunked £4m on Ngog, £4m on bug eyes Sordell, £2m on Quasimodo Wheater, £2m on Ream of bog roll, the list is fucking endless. The guy has basically taken Bolton to the brink of bankruptcy by buying shit. I think we're next!

Pansy is scared:

Pansy wrote:I've barricaded myself in the cellar, if dipshit Coyle is our new manager Hell must be about to freeze over.

Cassie has high hopes:

RasCassie wrote:Coyle signed all his old Burnley bumchums when he was Bolton manager, so expect half of Bolton's shit first team to be playing for us by August. Still can't believe this.

Violence could be the answer:

Wigan_Warrior wrote:Whelan you fucking twat, just fuck off back to your Spanish brothel and leave the proper decisions to people with braincells. Why the fuck have you employed this proven failure? Is this for a bet? If you think your last broken leg hurt, wait for the next one!! Arsehole!!

Hindsight is a wonderful thing:

Root-a-Toot wrote:Whenever I see Owen Coyle I just see Mr Bean. I suspect Mr Bean would have been a better choice though.

Stan plans for the future:

Blue Stan wrote:Does anyone know where Coyle lives? I like to plan my hits in advance.

Jerry is on acid:

Jerry Ringer wrote:Can't believe all the abuse targeted at Owen Coyle, the guy has a proven record that can't be sniffed at. He didn't have the support of the board at Bolton but here he will have money to spend and resources to get us promoted.

Jason puts things into perspective:

JasonWAFC wrote:The day I caught my wife in bed with the binman was a bad day. The day she told me my daughter wasn't mine was a bad day. The day my business went bust owing thousands was a bad day. The day the dog bit my knob was a bad day. The day my man boobs operation went wrong was a bad day. The day I tried to commit suicide by hanging myself from the rafters only to bring the ceiling down was a bad day. The day my 14 year old caught me with the hoover nozzle up my arse was a bad day. The day Owen Coyle became manager of Wigan Athletic was a fucking terrible day.

Drugs are clearly rife in Wigan right now:

Tezza wrote:Coyle will be better than Martinez. Promoted with 6 games to go.

Field Mobber predicts dancing in Bolton:

Field Mobber wrote:The Bolton inbreds will be getting some wear out of their clogs with all the dancing they'll be doing when they hear this news.

Be careful what you wish for Charlie:

Charlie_Preen wrote:Does it get any worse than this - a Bolton reject as manager? What next....Kevin Davies on a 10 year contract?

I'm pretty sure these were my first words when I heard Coyle was coming to Bolton:

Michael Bumder wrote:Resign Coyle you cunt

Harsh, but probably true:

Springfield Sin Shop wrote:I'd trust Stuart Hall with a Reception class more than I would Owen Coyle with a football team

Is Coyle worse than incest?

Flynn The Trog wrote:Getting caught kissing my brother was awkward, but finding out Coyle was our new manager was worse.

Coyle can impact everywhere:

KingKeith wrote:When I heard the news about Coyle I was busy shagging this sort from Ince, dirty as fuck she is. Unfortunately, upon hearing the announcement my willy went all soft and flaccid - just like the Bolton defence....soon to be the Wigan defence.

You can't argue with this:

Wigan Wizard37 wrote:Cannot understand this one at all. Coyle failed at Bolton and had he not been sacked would have taken them to League 1. Why does Whelan think he will be any better at Wigan with less resources, less crowds and less reputation to fall back on?

Or this:

DickHeadShouldersKneesAndToes wrote:Coyle you Scottish cunt, fuck off back to jockland where shit managers go to die

Or this:

MannyWAFC12 wrote:Coyle did well at Bolton when he inherited players from the previous manager, but when he was forced to sign his own players and mould his own team he simply couldn't do it. So expect some decent results for the first season or so, but then it will all go pear shaped.

We've all been there Harry:

HarryD wrote:Days after the announcement I am still in a state of shock. Work keep ringing to see how I am but all I can say is "Coyle...cunt....going down....wanker", they think I've had a mental breakdown. I think they might be right. Coyle, cunt, going down, wanker, Coyle, cunt, going down, wanker, Coyle, cunt, going down, wanker, Coyle, cunt, going down, wanker.....

We'll fight them on the beaches.....

Boyce Lover wrote:I work in Bolton. My life is now a misery. I am openly mocked from the minute I arrive until the minute I leave. This is the best thing to ever happen to the Bolton inbreds, this is their World Cup, their Waterloo and their Dunkirk all rolled into one. Twats.

Paul clearly watched Bolton under Coyle:

Wigan_Paul wrote:Worst Manager EVER!

I like people who cut to the chase:

Just Say No wrote:FUCK OFF YOU SCOTTISH BOLTON PRICK

You don't often see Wigan and big in the same sentence:

KennyLogan1971 wrote:For years we were in Bolton's shadow, but for the last few seasons we have been the big club with the big players and big matches. We don't need to take their rejects, they should be taking ours. A massive backwards step.

Wife beating is a sport in Wigan:

Jock Wiganer wrote:My missus woke me up to tell me Owen Coyle was our new manager so I punched her in the face. There's no way she feels as bad as I do.

A nice positive post to end on:

BenWatsonGod wrote:I've been on a high since the FA Cup Final. What a day. Best day of my life. Better than my wedding day. Better than the birth of my children. Better than winning the egg-n-spoon race at school in 1985. Superb. I was literally high. I drank more beer than a boat full of sailors, took more drugs than a boat full of junkies, and shagged more hookers than Hugh Grant ever could. I was living the dream. Drugs, beer, women and winning the FA Cup. Then my world shattered. Owen Coyle became manager of my beloved club. The Bolton wanker with all the credentials of a lone Chuckle Brother. My life nosedived. I ran out of money, the beer was watered down, the drugs laced with baby powder, and the women dirtier than a Mexican hooker. Thank you Dave Whelan and thank you Owen Coyle. You pair of twats have fucked me. FUCKED ME!!!!!!!

Nice one Nat

Always a lot of violence and threats in these.

they kind of scare me to be honest.

I don't know who they thought they were gonna get.
The standard of football managers at the minute is pretty shocking. Particularly those Wigan can realistically attract.

Tim Vincent wrote:

I wanted someone to come in and sort our shambles of a defence out. Once we get done with all the Bolton fans coming on taking the p1ss you may get the truth out of a select few of them that Owen Coyles problem was that he couldn't sort out the defence.

Thanks Nat- you've just livened up a really tedious day!!
Great stuff.

Superb stuff as per Nat.

Excellent stuff!

Well done Nat, just what i was hoping for!

Well done Natasha - great work as usual.

Dougie finishing below the pie munchers is not an option.

Excellent stuff

THis made me chuckle: Fatman wrote:Is this the chap who tried to kill Fabrice Muamba? He even failed at that.

Great stuff Nat. Thanks.

My missus woke me up to tell me Owen Coyle was our new manager so I punched her in the face. There's no way she feels as bad as I do.

riiiight.

You clearly haven't been to Wigan recently.

DiSantoPanto wrote:“Woke up this morning to find Owen Coyle was our new manager. I was happier when the doctor told me I had Piles.”

Stupid wiganer can't even spell pies right.

Good work Mr whittam, your BEL is always a good read.