Nudist Beaches

I'm going on holiday to Nuggy's villa in Bulgaria at the beginning of July. Apparently it's right on the beach in the middle of the nudist section.

From dusk till dawn I will be able to sit on the balcony and see big tits and tiny knobs. It'll be just like The Reebok on matchday.

Anyway, it's not really my cup of tea but I feel I should make an effort - but I have no idea of nudist beach etiquette. Do I arrive naked? Are the nudist beaches full of perverts? Are you allowed to ask ugly people to cover themselves up without being rude?

Anyone got experience?

There used to be a nudist beach on Paros where I went with a girlfriend in the days when I thought an all over tan was important (and before skin cancer was widely publicised!) Every day an old local lady would walk 2 miles out of her way to go to the beach and tell people to put their clothes on. She put up a sign that said "No Nutide". Draw your own conclusions, but I reckon the only reason she'd go so far out of her way was to check out the boys.

Only other time was at Moss Side Swimming Baths which had a naturist night in the '80s. My son and his mate wanted to go swimming and it was the only baths open on that night, so with the mates' mums' agreement me and the ex-missus took them. All went well until I walked around a corner carrying son in arms and almost slapped a seated young lady in the face - the barmaid at my local who worked there as a lifeguard. Got the piss ripped out of me at the pub for being a nudist for several months afterwards.

Protocol was to wear whatever you feel comfortable with and go naked if you're comfortable with that.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'm going on holiday to Nuggy's villa in Bulgaria at the beginning of July. Apparently it's right on the beach in the middle of the nudist section.

From dusk till dawn I will be able to sit on the balcony and see big tits and tiny knobs. It'll be just like The Reebok on matchday.

Anyway, it's not really my cup of tea but I feel I should make an effort - but I have no idea of nudist beach etiquette. Do I arrive naked? Are the nudist beaches full of perverts? Are you allowed to ask ugly people to cover themselves up without being rude?

Anyone got experience?

At the least, we can expect a daily blog from you!

observer wrote:
At the least, we can expect a daily blog from you!

I'll look forward to reading about what stuck out for her on this holiday.

Just waiting for AD to come along with his stories, bet it"s worth the wait.

Bulgaria for your holiday? Jesus, what a shit hole.
I thought you always went topless on the beach Nat, surely you will go nude?
I remember holidays on the South West Atlantic coast in France, it was an absolute treat seeing so many fit women wearing nothing.
Nude beaches though are for people wanting to be looked at naked, people who say they don't want tan lines are just talking bollocks.

Michael Bolton wrote:Bulgaria for your holiday? Jesus, what a shit hole.
I thought you always went topless on the beach Nat, surely you will go nude?
I remember holidays on the South West Atlantic coast in France, it was an absolute treat seeing so many fit women wearing nothing.
Nude beaches though are for people wanting to be looked at naked, people who say they don't want tan lines are just talking bollocks.

I love Bulgaria, if you know where to look it's full of unspoilt villages free from tourists.

Unfortunately Nuggy's villa is in a tourist hell hole, it'll no doubt be full of your kind MB - larger than life wankers.

In my experience most nude beaches are full of elderly overweight men with bloody big beer guts. A woman in a bikini looks much more fetching than having it all on display.

You wouldn't catch me anywhere near a nudist beach. I would be frightened of falling asleep in case a Seagull came to try and snatch my winkle.

Reebok Trotter wrote:

You wouldn't catch me anywhere near a nudist beach. I would be frightened of falling asleep in case a Seagull came to try and snatch my winkle.

Their eyesight isn't good enough to find your winkle.

Seagulls have a marvellous sense of smell. I dip my winkle and scallops in brine every morning to add lustre to my cluster. It's the fishy scent that attracts them.

When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think that sardines will be thrown into the sea.

Michael Bolton wrote:Bulgaria for your holiday? Jesus, what a shit hole.
I thought you always went topless on the beach Nat, surely you will go nude?
I remember holidays on the South West Atlantic coast in France, it was an absolute treat seeing so many fit women wearing nothing.
Nude beaches though are for people wanting to be looked at naked, people who say they don't want tan lines are just talking bollocks.

I concur Mike, it's a shithole. Remember though, N is only dreaming! It'll be two weeks cleaning up chicken shit in reality!!

I viewed a nudist beach in Andros some years ago were two kraut women were laid on their stomachs. Their arses were that big you could park two pushbikes , one in each crack!

I feel sorry for the people on the beach, if Nat gets her lob sided saggy tits out.

Soul Kitchen wrote:
I concur Mike, it's a shithole. Remember though, N is only dreaming! It'll be two weeks cleaning up chicken shit in reality!!

I guarantee you can only dream of being in a place like Nuggy's villa.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Soul Kitchen wrote:
I concur Mike, it's a shithole. Remember though, N is only dreaming! It'll be two weeks cleaning up chicken shit in reality!!

I guarantee you can only dream of being in a place like Nuggy's villa.

That's my point exactly, you are only dreaming. As I ppst it's 26ºC at nearly 23.00 hours! And that's no dream, or should I deal in N currency, bullshite!


POSTED ON MY SAMSUNG S3

Soul Kitchen wrote:


That's my point exactly, you are only dreaming. As I ppst it's 26ºC at nearly 23.00 hours! And that's no dream, or should I deal in N currency, bullshite!


POSTED ON MY SAMSUNG S3

You're posting while on holiday? Get a life you bellend.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Soul Kitchen wrote:


That's my point exactly, you are only dreaming. As I ppst it's 26ºC at nearly 23.00 hours! And that's no dream, or should I deal in N currency, bullshite!


POSTED ON MY SAMSUNG S3

You're posting while on holiday? Get a life you bellend.

That's exactly it, I'm posting while I'm on holiday, reality and not a dream! Anyway wtf do you know about bellends? Yet another dream!!

Soul Kitchen wrote:

That's exactly it, I'm posting while I'm on holiday, reality and not a dream! Anyway wtf do you know about bellends? Yet another dream!!

You must be having a whale of a time if you're posting on here.

I wish it was only 26c here, it's been over 34c in the shade today and same again tomorrow.

Mr Magoo wrote:I feel sorry for the people on the beach, if Nat gets her lob sided saggy tits out.

I'll bet they're like a pair of John Wayne's saddlebags!