What can you invent?

Think of a clever or silly new invention. Maybe something that you think will never happen but you would quite like to have or something pointless but ingenious, eg. virtual reality headsets for battery farm chickens.

What do you wish someone would bring to market?

A device that prevents adverts on TV in my house only and lets me watch programmes uninterrupted .

A kind of pen shaped item that you can point at girls or women inconspicuously that makes them have a  fantastic orgasm anywhere.

A device that makes fat bloke's even fatter.

An object that when pointed at a victim makes them swear in public or say silly things like I fucked a grasshopper today.

A way of delivering an electric shock down the phone to ppi mithering cnuts.

Glasses that enables you to see through women's clothing.

Biggie was this idea inspired by the car periscope episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm?

Soul Kitchen wrote:A way of delivering an electric shock down the phone to ppi mithering cnuts.

Oh yes:D

A 99p coin.

A voice/language translator that can be used by anyone, anywhere, then we won't have 200 hundred versions of English. I appreciate they are 'speaking' our language, but when its so accented that its unintelligible, then its a foreign language again.

An instant spray that you can shoot up your arse to dislodge one of those annoying noblets that wont come out no matter how hard you strain and you have to sit on the bog for ages waiting for it to load into the firing chamber usually happens late at night and stops you from sleeping, happens maybe half a dozen times a year, that'd be good.

A device which you put on your head and it instantly cuts your hair in the style you want.

Angry Dad wrote:An instant spray that you can shoot up your arse to dislodge one of those annoying noblets that wont come out no matter how hard you strain and you have to sit on the bog for ages waiting for it to load into the firing chamber usually happens late at night and stops you from sleeping, happens maybe half a dozen times a year, that'd be good.

dear me,

is this kind of crap really necessary on a football forum.

AD, sounds like you need to either speak to the doctor, or go for one an enema.

Angry Dad wrote:An instant spray that you can shoot up your arse to dislodge one of those annoying noblets that wont come out no matter how hard you strain and you have to sit on the bog for ages waiting for it to load into the firing chamber usually happens late at night and stops you from sleeping, happens maybe half a dozen times a year, that'd be good.

Have you tried lubricating your motion with calamine lotion?

Hipster_Nebula wrote:is this kind of crap really necessary on a football forum.

I see what you did there. You're too clever for this site.

I am not alone in that dilema, loads of the lads get it, one of them say's he runs on the spot for five mins in the bathroom and his wife shouts at him to stop. Come on you lot cant tell me you have never had that little nugget that just doesn't want to come out and play!!!

Bloody things only usually the size of a marble but more nobbly like a small bit of a picnic bar but more rounded.

Next time i get one i'll name it nobula in honour of Hipster, every time i see him post i'll think of one.