How long does it take you?

When your wife/girlfriend/mum and dad say they are going out for a bit, how long do you normally take before you start using the internet... for... you know - it's intended purpose?

i usually wait for the wife to go to bed before i indulge my passion for midget porn

I do it if she is in or not, I love Egg mayo.

Tried it. Not my thing.

I watch synchronised swimming

Not had a go on that yet.