Naming Ceremony

There's this young woman the wife has been friends with since we moved here we have been out for a meal and to the pub etc. Now they have recently had a baby boy which they want to call Jasper ffs they are a bit too full on for my liking and  as i am as the wife keeps pointing out a bit of a surly fucker i try to limit contact with them. She's ok and i would'nt say no to if i had the time but he's a bit of a tit his first name is Reed ffs. To the point, they want us to be god parents dont know why us? so being polite the wife say's we have to think about it, but the next day she comes round for coffee and say's we are not in the slightest religeous but we like the idea of having god parents, so how does that work if you dont believe in god i ask, well she say's you would be guardians, so i say but we are catholic and dont believe in fucking naming ceremonies and she leaves in tears so i doubt we will see them again which i like. They already knew we were catholic i cant believe the nerve of the cheeky fuckers, Just name it Jasper and leave it at that. Naming ceremonies who dreamed up that shit.

Your rants are top class.

Perhaps they wanted a surly fucker for a God parent AD? Got to say you pretty much convinced them now!! 

Angry Dad wrote:There's this young woman the wife has been friends with since we moved here we have been out for a meal and to the pub etc. Now they have recently had a baby boy

I presume the baby is yours? Or was that another of your stories.

His stories are more credible than yours don't you think? I certainly like reading them.

I didn't say I didn't like reading them, I was just clearing up if the baby was his. His dick gets around.

How do you know?

Soul Kitchen wrote:How do you know?

He sticks it through my letterbox every evening at 9pm.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Angry Dad wrote:There's this young woman the wife has been friends with since we moved here we have been out for a meal and to the pub etc. Now they have recently had a baby boy

I presume the baby is yours? Or was that another of your stories.

No nat its not mine, i dont go around shagging my wifes friends and i'm sure their husbands would notice at some point. Just because we did a very good friend a favour that was a one off only,there's no need to keep bitching at me.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Soul Kitchen wrote:How do you know?

He sticks it through my letterbox every evening at 9pm.

You need to get your front teeth filed down a tad i'm startin to get a sore dick.

How far is the front door from the main gate in the fantasy abode known as Shittum Towers AD? 

Its a terraced house in Breightmet with  a Glory Hole above the letter box SK but if you fancy it better wear a rubber i cant stop itching and the skins all red and coming off 

Better get to the docs AD it could be her pet Kimono Dragon that she let loose on your owd lad!!   

AD, it could be that you're allergic to varnish, or you might have a splinter in it  

Got it caught in my Jeans zip once and had to go to A&E where it was painfully released i thought they would numb it but they did'nt.

These things happen.http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-rescue-mans-penis-toaster-2346520