Behind Enemy Lines - Aston Villa

Those of you that follow my work will know that I used to put together a 'Behind Enemy Lines' feature on another forum. It's quite straight forward, on the very rare occasion we win I go on the oppositions forums and put together a few of their rantings just to show that it's not only us that moan all day.

The following snippets are taken from avillafan.com, AstonVilla.vitalfootball.vo.uk, villatalk.com and a few smaller sites.

Peachbum is confident of victory:

Bolton are shit, 3-0 to Villa

Send us details of your funeral holtyboy:

bolton are fuking crap as bad as wolves. if we dont win this i will kill myself

The game gets underway and Villa are all over us, illbeback is relaxed:

wow we're playing like barca, all over bolton, only a matter of time

Half-time and Villa haven't made the breakthrough, Villa fans are worried. Does EatMyShorts have Coyle's ear?:

You just know Coyle's going to bring that fat bastard Davies on at half-time, we're fucked without Dunne

Villa score and their fans are happy, particularly BigDomJackson:

warnock get in my son, shit on the bolton, i just spunked on my keyboard!

But Bolton get a penalty and Fannycraddock is not happy:

you diving bolton twat, never a penalty, fuck off foy you cunt

Petrov scores and AndyLloydJnr is an angry man:

fuck off petrov you bald cunt, never a fucking penalty, never never never. fucking refs want villa to go down, fuck off mcleish you wanker

Oh no, Bolton go in front and the Villa fans have had enough...too may quotes to name them all!

FUCK OFF YOU TWATS

Die McLeish you fucking arsehole

Bolton cunts!!!

why didn't anyone tackle the tranny?

fuck off ngog you skinny fucker

same old Villa, SHIT SHIT SHIT

Did we score?

The game ends and the Villa fans can't quite believe it. Freddy is a fan of Kevin Davies:

---angry at Randy angry at The Clown of a manager we have, and angry at that shower of s**** --who cant hold a goal lead for one f*****g minute"!!! to concede 2 goals AT home immediately after we score is totally unacceptable --this was Bolton ,oh and that old English type number 9 Kevin Davies who so bullied our defence----pathetic

And FedUp1 knew what was going to happen:

Good first half but with the missed opportunities and knowing that Davies and klasnic would come off the bench I just knew what the outcome was going to be!

Appac is another Davies fan:

he came on and ruffed our defenders up, this managers a fuckin joke

lerneravfc blames a higher place:

FUCK YOU GOD.

Col8 blames Heskey:

HESKEY STANDING LIKE A FUCKING DILDO IN A NUNNERY

Malachite has a way with words:

Common sense tells you, with a team as poor as Bolton once you nail them its over, so what happens we go 1 up and they nail us

ciggiesnbeer has seen the light:

True, Bolton is an elite club. We cant compete. Lerner and Faulkner are fucking idiots.

Malachite again, I think I like him:

Can't believe Bolton are playing a passing game around us, beggers belief

RosettaStoned doesn't like Villa tactics:

McLeish the wanker takes heskey off and immediately goes long ball. CLUELESS WANKER

Learneravfc writes the words that every Bolton fan has used in recent years:

Fuck off ginger cunt.

Smallnumber9 needs urgent medical assistance:

my scrotum has just collapsed

Frankus says something not seen on a Bolton forum before:

Terrible. Absolutely terrible. We didn't deserve a thing after the worst half of football ever produced. Plaudits to Bolton for showing some stick and fighting for it. Pity our boys can't do the same.

Kefkaf takes action:

I know there is still 3 games left but I have no heart left for this. i am off to send some death threat e-mails to McLeish and his family.

Wurzel loves Own Coyle:

Our defeat was down to a manager, a good one in charge of Bolton.

Is it a Coyle love-in, Fulford thinks so:

a manager that really cares about his club, players and fans

Iniesta isn't happy:

No massive analysis needed, we were fucking shit and anyone apologising for McLeish anymore can get fucked, I actually do respect everyones opinion but if you can defend that fat ginger wanker then you should be sent to broadmoor.

James06 should be on the BBC:

Second half, Kevin Davies came on and with N'Gog they battered us aerially. Heskey ran out of steam and had to be replaced, but the Villa game plan didn't change, we had no plan B. Fair play we scored a decent goal going totally against our game plan of hoof ball, but the style, the set up, the shape and system was just non-existent.

No excuses last night, they had no plan B and it was a right royal fuck up.

What I find frustrating is that we have a team of outstanding footballers. Bolton, especially first half, were bloody awful. Villa's players should have torn through them playing stylish football on the deck using their pace and overall superior ability. Instead they played a Bolton style and when Bolton reverted back to that and matched fire with fire, Villa never looked like getting anything.

Contact cutiepie18 for the weekend lottery numbers:

However I said to the guy next to me that if Davies comes on we were in trouble.

If I could see that before it happened then why isnt a guy who is on 2m a year seeing that and doing something about it?????????????

KRS186 sums things up well:

Shit manager, shit players, shit board: we are just shit.

But the final word goes to JellyBoyBlue who definitely has a future in journalism:

Fuck McLeish, fuck Mrs LcLeish, Fuck McLeish's kids, fuck his mum & dad for not smothering him at birth, fuck his dog, fuck his cat, fuck all his friends, fuck his binman, fuck his postman, fuck his bank manager, fuck his entire steet, fuck anyone who ever said a good word about fucking Mcleish. JUST FUCK OFF MCLEISH.

Some cracking posts there. It's funny how some rival fans really respect and fear Kevin Davies whereas, because we have seen him play week in and week out we think the total opposite to them.

I think Kevin Davies performance last night showed us a bit of what we have been missing. He still has a role for us as an impact player.

I love reading fans reactions when we win, the last one had me in stitches!

Natasha Whittam wrote:Learneravfc writes the words that every Bolton fan has used in recent years:

Fuck off ginger cunt.

Now that did make me laugh out loud.



It is weird to see other fans praising Davies considering he has been almost useless the whole season. There again maybe a super-sub role for next season - who knows??? - just as long as he doesn't start games.

Good work Natasha and I hope you get to do it at least a couple of more times before this season is out.

wanderlust wrote:Good work Natasha and I hope you get to do it at least a couple of more times before this season is out.

Thanks, it was either this or "How do you tell if your partner is cheating on you?". Hopefully I made the right choice.

You did. I love you really.

Good un Nat. Couldn't stop laughing.

Great journalism Natasha too funny to pick any single one out,maybe the last one.Keep up the great posts.If we do Sunderland are you having them again.Very Funny and great to see others suffer.Hope that guy got some decent cleaning products for his computer.It was a great night.Felt sick when Warnock scored,was just texting my kids the score when we got the pen 1-1 then 2-1 then half an hour of shitting myself.Sunderland saturday last time i went we won 4-1 so maybe a good omen.Bed time work in the morning.

JellyBoyBlue is boss.

Fantastic Natasha!

Thanks for the time and effort you've put into it - really funny!

Natasha, great article.

Largehat,

How would you feel about posting this up on JA606 and giving a plug for both Natasha and here!

I'll do it if you rather not - I just think that with you being well known on there, that you would be far more credible in bringing awareness to others that 'Bolton Nuts' exist and show what we are capable of - talking about the club and having a craic at the same time!

I've already done the same thing myself on the Bolton News forum -

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Anyone prepared to do something similar on other forums, please?

The more people who gets to know about us and joins in the fun the better it will be for everyone!

Just for the record - from the day we started, we are averaging just short of 130 posts per day (128.78), which makes us bigger than all the other dedicated BWFC forums apart from ww and tw.

Spread the word and hopefully we will get even bigger and better for everyone to enjoy.

Thank you.

It's a no-can-do I'm afraid, Sluffy.

JA606 has similar moderation standards/house rules to the original 606. It is a homage site. No bad language allowed.

You take bad language out of Natasha's post and it's ruined.

I could post a link to Natasha's article on here, though. I am concerned about Natasha's ego, however. I'm not plugging Natasha. Lets make that clear.

Also, there doesn't seem to be a specific URL for an article, I navigate everywhere around the site and stay at the same URL. Suggestions?

Ok, thanks.

A link to here would be good though.

Not exactly sure what you mean about the specific URL?

I know some forums you can link to the specific 'post' - doesn't appear that we are that sophisticated on here - I would simply just use the URL for the thread page (it is the first post people will see anyway).

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Is that what you meant?

Actually that's not what I meant.

When I look at this article, in fact any article, I see this:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Notice that my URL bar says boltonnuts.co.uk - rather than a specific URL for the article, therefore I didn't think it was possible to post a URL for a specific article until you posted one.

Anyway, I will post the link you provided on Saturday about 5.30pm, that's when JA606 will have the most BWFC users.

EDIT - if you provide a similar link the the Prostitute thread as well I will post that too. I'm uncomfortable giving Natasha recognition. She is my nemesis.

Ok, thanks, that would be fantastic.

I've no idea about URL's really, I'm a bit of a Luddite when it comes to IT issues, I've no clue why your computer doesn't show the same address as mine - different internet providers perhaps?

Anyway the 'Pretty Woman' thread -

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Natasha, you went to a lot of time and trouble to put this together and it's a very good artical, thank-you.

I don't want to come across as being a prude but I do think there's to much bad language on Villa sites and I'm glad we're not so crude (maybe some are).

Born to be a wanderer wrote:If we do Sunderland are you having them again.

I'll do one for every game we win. So my next one should be posted around August/September time

largehat wrote:

EDIT - if you provide a similar link the the Prostitute thread as well I will post that too. I'm uncomfortable giving Natasha recognition. She is my nemesis.

I've never been anyones nemesis before. Cool.