The "female Dennis Law" dies.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37201105


Sad news and I offer my sincere condolences to the lady's friends and family but that's not really what this threads's about.

No, it's about something I read in that piece:

The fact that she once scored 134 goals in 1 season.

From midfield.

I'm struggling to discover how many games were played that season, so I'm going to take a conservative guess at 30 based on an assumption that there wouldn't have been that many women's teams back then.

So that's an average of 4.5 goals a game.

That's the sort of stat you only normally get in Pub League football or Youth Football like when Gary Flitcroft scored about 300 one year.

So what does that really tell us?

Was she really the "female Dennis Law" or was she just half decent and very lucky to have played against a bunch of rubbish girlies who should have stuck to Rounders or Netball?

And where do we draw the line in terms of celebrating sporting success?

Should her achievement, laudable as it may be, be discussed in the same breath as her male counterparts?

I'm old enough to remember Bob Latchford winning a prize for netting 30 in 1 season for Everton in the First Division.

It was a marvel at the time and people couldn't believe he'd done it.

So which is more remarkable: Beardy Latchford's 30 or Big Syl's 134?

What about Dixie Dean? Was he really that good?

60 League goals in a season is some feat.

Have you ever seen Dixie Dean and Sylvia Gore in the same room?

Nope, thought not.

Draw your own conclusions.

I conclude they'd have to be on the same pitch to make a fair comparison. Not so easy in a room.

boltonbonce wrote:60 League goals in a season is some feat.

He scored some with his head too

whatsgoingon wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:60 League goals in a season is some feat.

He scored some with his head too

That doesn't actually work.

The "feat / feet" aural gag might work if spoken but the context is still all wrong.

Your "gag" hangs on the fact that the initial statement implies that he scored all his goals with his feet.

But there's no suggestion of that.

So it falls a bit flat.

Smacks of trying too hard, like an eight-year old at a family do who is desperate to make his mark with the adults.

The grown-ups laugh politely but then immediately all go back to the vol au vents, shaking their heads and mumbling "Precocious prick" under their breath.

Good effort though. PM me for tips on the rudiments of writing basic comedy if you like and I'll happily share.

Bread2.0 wrote:

whatsgoingon wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:60 League goals in a season is some feat.

He scored some with his head too

That doesn't actually work.

The "feat / feet" aural gag might work if spoken but the context is still all wrong.

Your "gag" hangs on the fact that the initial statement implies that he scored all his goals with his feet.

But there's no suggestion of that.

So it falls a bit flat.

Smacks of trying too hard, like an eight-year old at a family do who is desperate to make his mark with the adults.

The grown-ups laugh politely but then immediately all go back to the vol au vents, shaking their heads and mumbling "Precocious prick" under their breath.

Good effort though. PM me for tips on the rudiments of writing basic comedy if you like and I'll happily share.

It was a throw away remark but nice of you to explain your put down rather than the usual childish half arsed digs (AKA edgy bants) you've been throwing around stamping your feet because boggers and Scott are back.
I don't think I'll be troubling your pm system anytime soon but thank you for the no doubt sincere and gracious offer.

It's just edgy bants, matey - Calm down.

It's what we do now to keep the site interesting.

Did you not get the memo?

Bread2.0 wrote:PM me for tips on the rudiments of writing basic comedy if you like and I'll happily share.

Why have you PM'd me a photo of your knob?

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Bread2.0 wrote:PM me for tips on the rudiments of writing basic comedy if you like and I'll happily share.

Why have you PM'd me a photo of your knob?

That's his passport photo.

My knob's not big enough to fill a passport photo.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Bread2.0 wrote:PM me for tips on the rudiments of writing basic comedy if you like and I'll happily share.

Why have you PM'd me a photo of your knob?

don't worry we all got one of those, not sure about the attempt to dress it up and make it look like Rick Astley though

Bread2.0 wrote:My knob's not big enough to fill a passport photo.

How often would anyone need to pen a line like this?

The beauty of Nuts.

Did I mention that bloke who obviously had Tourette's or something that was sat behind us on a plane last year?

He was chirping and ticking for eight bastard hours on the flight and when we got to the airport he happened to appear at the next urinal to me.

He unzipped and popped his old man out before looking down at it and saying "Hello again Derek, away you go."

Very strange name for a penis that.

Bread2.0 wrote:He unzipped and popped his old man out before looking down at it and saying "Hello again Derek, away you go."

Very strange name for a penis that.

What is a suitable name?

Went in that bog in the Market Hall in Walkden on Monday (20p),and,nice though it is,I could have done without the disco music.
I like to pee in silence.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Bread2.0 wrote:He unzipped and popped his old man out before looking down at it and saying "Hello again Derek, away you go."

Very strange name for a penis that.

What is a suitable name?

I think we all know the answer to that....

boltonbonce wrote:Went in that bog in the Market Hall in Walkden on Monday (20p),and,nice though it is,I could have done without the disco music.
I like to pee in silence.

You could have gone for nowt in Tesco.

And instead of disco music, they have screaming kids.

Which, thinking about it, probably wouldn't help.

Ignore me, I had far too many last night.

Bread2.0 wrote:It's just edgy bants, matey - Calm down.

It's what we do now to keep the site interesting.

Did you not get the memo?

There goes another "edgy bants" with absolutely no bitter undertones at all

Sure he said Derek, not Dennis. as in Dennis Pennis?