Is the age of chivalry dead?

Guys, When you take a lady out, do you open the door for her, if you have came in the same taxi/car do you open her car door for her getting in and the same getting out, do you open the restaurant/pub door and finally do you pull her chair out for her to sit down on before you sit down?

When it comes to ordering drinks whilst waiting of the food are you secretly keeping up a running total on what has been spend on you and what has been spent on her, same for dinner, or does the man do what was the done thing in the good old days and insist on paying it all or do you go halves? Guys that insist on paying for it all, is there an ulterior motive there and is it a ploy to try and get another notch on the bed post. Done get mad at me asking, but I get some girlfriends complaining that they wouldnt touch him with a barge pole, just looking into their knickers blah blah whereas other friends have said that the guy is soo lovely, he wouldnt let me put my hand my my pocket, he walked me to the front door and wants to see me again' Your getting totally opposites.

What about taking mobile phone calls? I make it clear from the start that I have a child so I might need to be got intouch of, would they mind if I left the phone on silent but facup so that if it would ring we would see it, it it wast my mum or the babysitter then I'd just push cancel. What is the point of accepting a call, you spend the next 10 - 15mins rambling away and your poor date sits mortified not knowing where to look. Has the date went so badly wrong that you just want to end it but dont know how so you hope she will. If thats the case get whoever is on the phone with you to pretend there's an emergency, at least she has a way out too then!! The same with constant text messages, its just wrong, leave it!!

The reason I ask this is when Im in a position that Im able to I like to pay my own way. Personally if a guy insisted on paying everything I would wonder what the hell they were up to. When Squidgy and I first got together we would be having arguments over receipts blah blah till we worked out a compromise.I do like the guy opening the door for me, and pulling back the seat, Ive never had someone do that for be before and the difference it makes, it just the kind little thoughs

I have no idea why I have always been like this, but im the kinda girl you get me a drink, i'll get you the next one. No matter how big or small I do like to pay my way. Someone saying to me 'dont worry about it, its on me' or 'money's no object get what you want and dont worry about the price tag' To me there is just something badly wrong in that. These guys may be totally fine, I just dont know.

We have plenty of men that will hopefully give their view, I hope Natasha gives her view although I suspect she's been wined and dined and never had to put her finger in her pocket and then there's Jane, Whats Janes take on it all? Will be good to hear a little on what everyone has got to say.

Good post!

I am old fashioned to be honest and, if possible, I will always try to pay for dinner/cinema etc. I swear I don't do it to try and sleep with the young lady, it's just the way my folks brought me up.

My wife tends to frown on me taking women out for dinner these days, but back when I was courting my wife I paid for everything and she was more than happy to accept the situation - and she earned more than me!

Like OOO says, it's just the way some people are brought up.

Like OOO I am old-fashioned and brought up that way in that first dates, especially, us men should pay for everything. Its not about getting a notch on the bedpost but just ye-olde good manners.

When I started dating my current girlfriend, I paid for everything first couple of times, but she was definitely not amused - since then we have worked it out that we just split the bill (50/50) between us, nowadays. And when it comes to going out for drinks only it is a case of I buy then she buys and so on...



But doors, chairs, etc etc yep, I cannot get out of the olde routine, no matter how much the girlfriend tells me off. Its just the way I was brought up.

Manners are everything to me so I fully expect the bloke to pay for everything on a first date. If he doesn't there is never a second date.

I also expect doors to be opened for me, particularly car doors, and if there's a big puddle in front of me I expect to be carried. Ok, I made the last one up, but you get the picture.

If a bloke pulled a mobile phone out on a date with me he would spend the evening trying to retreive it from his arse.

I have always paid for everything and never given it a second thought. I would be mortified if I invited a girl on a date and she expected to pay half.

What is wrong with opening a car door for a lady or helping her with her coat and pulling back her chair ? It's just a sign of good manners.

I was on the London Underground last Saturday for the Millwall game. It was very crowded and I gave up my seat for a young lady who was at first reluctant to take up my offer. I guess it has never happened to her before!

One of the problems is all this sexual equality bullshit. Women complaining that men are patronising them by calling them ' Love '. It's just a polite term with no hidden meaning so why do some of these harridans make a big issue of it ?

Chivalry is not dead, it's just that political correctness has dealt it a mortal blow.

yes.

bwfc71 wrote:

- since then we have worked it out that we just split the bill (50/50) between us, nowadays. And when it comes to going out for drinks only it is a case of I buy then she buys and so on...

Isn't that what is referred to as ' going Dutch?'

I am also old school, but a lot of women feel uncomfortable about being paid for or (excessively) "treated like a lady" - and others don't. I guess it's a matter of getting to know the lady in question and doing whatever is necessary to make her feel at ease. Generally speaking I can usually work out what she would prefer fairly quickly, but I always think it's better to be open and talk it through.

At the end of the day, if a guy is interested in a girl he should really want her to be interested in the real him and not a caricature of him so it makes sense to be open and honest from the start and then everything will fall into place, one way or the other.

Reebok Trotter wrote:
Isn't that what is referred to as ' going Dutch?'

Correct. And if the lady can only afford to pay part of her "share", that's referred to as her Dutch cap.

wanderlust wrote:

Reebok Trotter wrote:
Isn't that what is referred to as ' going Dutch?'

Correct. And if the lady can only afford to pay part of her "share", that's referred to as her Dutch cap.

I'll remember that one in future!

It's not dead, it's just most English women don't appreciate good old fashioned manners anymore. Should all go out with Polish women, they love it.

OneOinCoyle wrote:It's not dead, it's just most English women don't appreciate good old fashioned manners anymore. Should all go out with Polish women, they love it.

Look at the women in town on a friday night drinking pints and covered in tramp stamps f,in this and that and fighting beating up thier blokes.Most of them are like BiffaBacons mum.

if you can blag it try a saga cruise, the birds are all sofisticated and loaded as well. a few manners from moi and theyre putty in my hands

my last fella (who introduced me to bwfc) was all manners and money when we first started dating. i let him get away with it because he seemed to want to do it and I was a penniless student at the time, but 6 months in he was asking me to chip in even though he earned a decent wage and I had 50p in my purse.

some might say it was quite fair he ask me to contribute, but for me it was the death of my feelings for him and he was binned.

It is everywhere, I am afraid. I routinely open doors etc. for women and they seem surprised by and large (if they don't know me) but there are 'men' who think they should slip through the door I am holding open for the ladies! I can't get my head around that bit. If I invite a young lady out, I fully expect to pay for everything. It does not mean I expect to be sexually gratified at the end of the evening, it is just the correct way to behave in my humble opinion.

Keegan wrote:It does not mean I expect to be sexually gratified at the end of the evening, it is just the correct way to behave in my humble opinion.

So a woman should give you a blow job just because you bought her pie and chips?

Sexist bugger!

Not at all, Natasha - you misunderstand me. Regular vaginal penetration is fine as well.

not-so-plain-jayne wrote:my last fella (who introduced me to bwfc) was all manners and money when we first started dating. i let him get away with it because he seemed to want to do it and I was a penniless student at the time, but 6 months in he was asking me to chip in even though he earned a decent wage and I had 50p in my purse.

some might say it was quite fair he ask me to contribute, but for me it was the death of my feelings for him and he was binned.

So basically you are saying you were with him because he paid for stuff, and when he stopped paying for stuff you dumped him.

I think Jayne - who clearly has some sort of hang-up about her own appearance given that she feels the need to refer to is in her user name - dumped the guy because he was an inconsiderate [email=tw@t]tw@t[/email] as opposed to being a tight-fisted [email=tw@t]tw@t[/email] - or maybe he was both.



I still hold the car door open for my wife, although she often asks if she should be getting out before we leave the motorway.