Good Advice

Learn to spot which side a person is handed until you can do it in a second.

Don't eat yellow snow.

The early bird gets the worm,but but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Use a condom.

Save money on electricity by switching off all electrical appliances and lights and walk around the house wearing a miners helmet.

Eat super foods.

Save 15% on Car Insurance by switching to Geico.

Don't wear patent leather shoes with a skirt cos boys can see the reflection of your knickers in them

If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

When visiting Thailand, avoid getting tricked into taking a Ladyboy back to your hotel room by first asking them to throw a tennis ball over-arm.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

A master has failed more than a student has tried.

There are two kinds of people those that come in the front door and those that come in the back door.
Which are you?

I like to come in the front door, then park the car, then come in through the back door.

If you had a choice between a man with no woman, or a leopard with no spots which one would you be?