The Poetry Thread

I'm starting this thread on behalf of our resident poetry expert, Norpig.

Norpig doesn't think a poetry thread would take off on nuts. Partly because it's quite boring and partly because he thinks your all thick as fuck. I know this, he told me, didn't you Norpig?

Anyway, I think he's wrong.

This should probably be made a sticky, as this will be the biggest thing since the extremely popular dinner thread.

Go on, show Norpig this site has loads of intellectual types. Post your best, most favourite poems here.

No poems about a man from Nantucket please bonce. This is a serious thread ok.

Cue loads of poems about Nat written by Y2j......

Mary had an iron cow.
She milked it with a spanner.
The milk came out in shilling tins.
And little ones a tanner.

Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow?
I live in a flat you silly twat so how the fuck should I know!

But seriously......

HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)

If you're a Bolton Wanderers fan,
I know the site for you,
Called "Bolton Nuts", it's full of fun
and idiots like Magoo.

There's Boncey with his Brucey thread,
and Biggie with his puns,
But Whittam's chest is not the best,
she's got lop-sided buns.

Karly does the radio,
we all tune in each week,
(that's when he's not round Bargain Booze-
the dirty little freak! )

So come on all you Nutters!
Come and join the throng,
Speak your mind and have a laugh,
even if you're wrong!

Breadman wrote:If you're a Bolton Wanderers fan,
I know the site for you,
Called "Bolton Nuts", it's full of fun
and idiots like Magoo.

There's Boncey with his Brucey thread,
and Biggie with his puns,
But Whittam's chest is not the best,
she's got lop-sided buns.

Karly does the radio,
we all tune in each week,
(that's when he's not round Bargain Booze-
the dirty little freak!  )

So come on all you Nutters!
Come and join the throng,
Speak your mind and have a laugh,
even if you're wrong!

Pretty good that Breadders!

Very good Bread!

Nice one Bread. Get it set to music.

Bwfc1958 wrote:I'm starting this thread on behalf of our resident poetry expert, Norpig.

Norpig doesn't think a poetry thread would take off on nuts. Partly because it's quite boring and partly because he thinks your all thick as fuck. I know this, he told me, didn't you Norpig?

Anyway, I think he's wrong.

This should probably be made a sticky, as this will be the biggest thing since the extremely popular dinner thread.

Go on, show Norpig this site has loads of intellectual types. Post your best, most favourite poems here.

No poems about a man from Nantucket please bonce. This is a serious thread ok.

Cue loads of poems about Nat written by Y2j......

i never said any of those things about my fellow nutters honestly  . To be honest the only poetry i do know is John Cooper Clarke

heard this last night, he was supporting John Cooper Clarke, well worth a listen in all seriousness

and one specially for our resident Burnley fan

Darkness.
Despair.
Pain, everywhere.
I feel it in my heart.
I feel it in my joints.
In the last minute, again -
We threw away the points.

and last one honest, my favourite

There once was a man from Horwich,
Who stuck his **** in some porridge.
When asked what he'd done,
He said 'twas in fun - 
And better than going to Norwich!

It was someone thinking they are Vincent Tan.
They gave me a lifetime ban.
Arguing with bread, you know I was right.
But I didn't give up the fight,
I Emailed Sluffy and Nuts,
I said sorry, it took guts.
Bread said NO, I was like a fucking yo yo.
What should I do, I'll come back as jussi22.
But they knew it was me, it was easy you see.
I need a partner in crime, I was mad,
I know I'll get angry dad.
So me and him , tag team-in,
without us the place was grim.
But now we're both back, having the crack,
lets not go back down that beaten track.
I'm off now for me tea,
see you soon, take it easy.

scottjames30 wrote:It was someone thinking they are Vincent Tan.
They gave me a lifetime ban.
Arguing with bread, you know I was right.
But I didn't give up the fight,
I Emailed Sluffy and Nuts,
I said sorry, it took guts.
Bread said NO, I was like a fucking yo yo.
What should I do, I'll come back as jussi22.
But they knew it was me, it was easy you see.
I need a partner in crime, I was mad,
I know I'll get angry dad.
So me and him , tag team-in,
without us the place was grim.
But now we're both back, having the crack,
lets not go back down that beaten track.
I'm off now for me tea,
see you soon, take it easy.

Worst poem ever 

It's very, er......urban, isn't it?

I think Scott draws quite heavily from The Kersal Massive for inspiration:

And I thought my Horwich limerick was bad!

If We Must Die
By Claude McKay

If we must die, let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Making their mock at our accursèd lot.
If we must die, O let us nobly die,
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
O kinsmen! we must meet the common foe!
Though far outnumbered let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one death-blow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we’ll face the murderous, cowardly pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!