Your embarrassing bodies

At the age of 14, I discovered a hole in my armpit. Yes, a hole! You could say it looked like a small gash...by old definition of the word 'gash', thank you!
I had to see the doctor about it, who explained it had come about as a result of a trapped hair.
Having a doctor's face in your armpit isn't a proud moment, but I can imagine much worse scenarios in a doctor's surgery.

We're all friends here, so share your embarrassing body tales leaving out no details.

I'm one of the 40-50% of people in the UK who get skin tags. It is genetic. They form in areas where skin folds up mostly, like the lower neck and armpit areas. Most of them are about the size of a grain of rice. Occasionally a larger one develops. Over the years I had them burnt off, blasted off with liquid nitrogen and cauterised. The biggest one I ever had was in the middle of my back and it was about the size of a grape. If I was wearing a t-shirt and leaned forward to, say, play pool, you could see a lump in my shirt.

About 5 years ago a small tear developed next to my sphinxter through excessive abrasion with toilet roll. It got infected and I had to have an operation. Nice.

largehat wrote:
About 5 years ago a small tear developed next to my sphinxter through excessive abrasion with toilet roll. It got infected and I had to have an operation. Nice.

sorry Largehat... I found this funny as fuck!

Reebok_Rebel wrote:

largehat wrote:
About 5 years ago a small tear developed next to my sphinxter through excessive abrasion with toilet roll. It got infected and I had to have an operation. Nice.

sorry Largehat... I found this funny as fuck!

I wonder if our friend BH has had any sphincter related injuries

I just had to google 'sphincter'. Thanks.

not-so-plain-jayne wrote:I just had to google 'sphincter'. Thanks.

I hope you had google 'safesearch' activated....

When i was about 21 (many many years ago) i had a growth above my penis, i was too scared to do anything about it so after a couple of years it was almost 2 inches in length and was starting to dwarf my nob. eventually went under the scalpel and had it whipped off, but i still have the nickname twodicks today, 40 years later.

You should have kept them - imagine the fun you could have had in Blackburn!

largehat wrote:

About 5 years ago a small tear developed next to my sphinxter through excessive abrasion with toilet roll. It got infected and I had to have an operation. Nice.

They never mention this kind of complaint when they advertise Andrex on TV. LH, your bogroll should come with a government health warning.

WTF were you using ? Sandpaper ?

I dunno, I guess I must have worn away at it over time. I'm one of these people who slams car doors without realising, I don't know my own strength. I guess I must have had a couple of stomach upsets in a short period of time and used particularly crap bog roll and rubbed particularly hard.

Actually it has never healed properly, and never will, because of where it is. I have to use a bit of Savlon every now and then to make sure it doesn't get infected.

My neighbour reckons his wife was born with two arse holes ,one just above the other but only one works. I would like to see this novelty arse hole and he said the next time she,s well pissed after a party and spark out he will let me look, cant wait.

Angry, there's no WAY that can be true! Did he give a hooker ten grand as well?

I've told this before, so here it is once again - as an old fart one of the things that you have to endure is to have your prostate checked. Well the way that is done is by the doctor putting on his gloves and telling you to lay on your side and bring your knees to your chest!

It is a really, really odd experience to meet the doctor socially later both knowing he's had his finger up your bum!

The only bit of comfort I have about this (apart from being all clear) is actually confirming to yourself that the gay life is not the one for you!

Apparently something like 40 percent of gay men don't have penetrative sex anyway. I mentioned in the legendary Prostitute thread that I found out an old school friend is working as an Escort. Naturally, I've asked her all sorts of questions, and she has confirmed that one of the things she does if her client's hour is almost up is still a finger up their arse to help them to ....achieve.... So there are clearly erogenous zones up there somewhere.

largehat wrote:Angry, there's no WAY that can be true! Did he give a hooker ten grand as well?

He brought it up again in the pub one sunday lunch and she went red and told him to shut up and kicked his leg under the table, so there looks to be something in it.

I'm going to have to Wikipedia this. Fascinating. Gives the phrase 'every hole's a goal' a whole new dimension. Nice Sunday lunch topic as well.

Sir Nut's Dad wrote:When i was about 21 (many many years ago) i had a growth above my penis, i was too scared to do anything about it so after a couple of years it was almost 2 inches in length and was starting to dwarf my nob. eventually went under the scalpel and had it whipped off, but i still have the nickname twodicks today, 40 years later.

I'd have been as happy as the proverbial dog with that! There's many a lady who would see the obvious benefits.

largehat wrote:I'm going to have to Wikipedia this. Fascinating. Gives the phrase 'every hole's a goal' a whole new dimension. Nice Sunday lunch topic as well.

Yeah i didn,t finish the pork scratchings.

I had - perhaps more amusing than embarrassing - one night stand with a girl who lived in the flat next door at Uni in the 70s. We were mates really and I got on well with all her flat mates, but we all got leathered one night and for no other reason than we liked each other and were both feeling horny we copped off. Anyhoo when she took her bra off she had "tassles" growing out of her nips. Each nip had a dozen or so long dark hairs about 3" long which dangled down except when she was moving at which point it was like the tassle dancers in an old movie! She wasn't in the slightest bit embarrassed about them and being a gent, I didn't mention it. In a weird kind of way it was a bit of a turn on - probably because she was so much at ease with herself. Only problem for me was I don't like hair in my mouth. We had a great night together and the next day just got on with student life - although we were closer as friends obviously. About 3 weeks later, she slept with my mate and I was sleeping with her mate that night, the four of us in the same flat. Went into the kitchen the next morning to make myself and the girl a brew and my mate was in there, looked at me with a big smile on his face and a knowing look. Neither of us ever mentioned the tassles again until we got back in touch 30 years later when we wondered if she'd ever got round to plucking them.

I think hairy nipples would probably put me off. I'd be a bit worried about the hair getting trapped in my teeth.