Bonce's own personal thread. Vol III (The 'Nice to see you' years).

Bamboo shoots must keep you regular.

y2johnny wrote:https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2847545178625987&id=199098633470668

Is that from bonceys animal porn collection

A bear walks into McDonalds orders a burger, eats it pulls out a machine gun spray bullets everywhere and then casually exits.
When the police arrive and the manager explained what had happened he informed the manager it must have been a panda.
When the manager asked how he knew he showed him his dictionary definition of panda - eats shoots and leaves

Bit gutted about Breadman leaving.
His recent email explaining his genuine love for Brucie,and his heartfelt plea for me to get him into the appreciation society,touched me deeply.
He'd been hiding his love for all these years,and now I'm powerless to help him.
If he doesn't come back I'll have to send him the new members pack by post. It contains all he needs,although the wig might need dry cleaning.
Hang in there old chum,and keep your eyes peeled for the parcel man. The box will be marked 'Toxic. Not to be removed from premises',but just ignore that,it means nothing.
I'll sneak a Sammy Davis Jnr tribute DVD in for good measure. Enjoy.

boltonbonce wrote:Bit gutted about Breadman leaving.
His recent email explaining his genuine love for Brucie,and his heartfelt plea for me to get him into the appreciation society,touched me deeply.
He'd been hiding his love for all these years,and now I'm powerless to help him.
If he doesn't come back I'll have to send him the new members pack by post. It contains all he needs,although the wig might need dry cleaning.
Hang in there old chum,and keep your eyes peeled for the parcel man. The box will be marked 'Toxic. Not to be removed from premises',but just ignore that,it means nothing.
I'll sneak a Sammy Davis Jnr tribute DVD in for good measure. Enjoy.

 you're meant to be getting him back on here not driving him farther away 

Don't worry,it's all part of my cunning plan.I'm not stupid.

The bloke who sold me the Brooklyn Bridge found that out. I got it for a song.

Norpig wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Bit gutted about Breadman leaving.
His recent email explaining his genuine love for Brucie,and his heartfelt plea for me to get him into the appreciation society,touched me deeply.
He'd been hiding his love for all these years,and now I'm powerless to help him.
If he doesn't come back I'll have to send him the new members pack by post. It contains all he needs,although the wig might need dry cleaning.
Hang in there old chum,and keep your eyes peeled for the parcel man. The box will be marked 'Toxic. Not to be removed from premises',but just ignore that,it means nothing.
I'll sneak a Sammy Davis Jnr tribute DVD in for good measure. Enjoy.

 you're meant to be getting him back on here not driving him farther away 

Agree Piggers. So come on Boncemeister step up, how far will you go to get breaders back? Renounce your Brucie fan club membership? A sacrifice worth making!?

Chairmanda wrote:

Norpig wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Bit gutted about Breadman leaving.
His recent email explaining his genuine love for Brucie,and his heartfelt plea for me to get him into the appreciation society,touched me deeply.
He'd been hiding his love for all these years,and now I'm powerless to help him.
If he doesn't come back I'll have to send him the new members pack by post. It contains all he needs,although the wig might need dry cleaning.
Hang in there old chum,and keep your eyes peeled for the parcel man. The box will be marked 'Toxic. Not to be removed from premises',but just ignore that,it means nothing.
I'll sneak a Sammy Davis Jnr tribute DVD in for good measure. Enjoy.

 you're meant to be getting him back on here not driving him farther away 

Agree Piggers. So come on Boncemeister step up, how far will you go to get breaders back? Renounce your Brucie fan club membership? A sacrifice worth making!?

I don't think you understand the brucie fan club manda, it's like the mafia once you're in you only ever leave in a bodybag

whatsgoingon wrote:

Chairmanda wrote:

Norpig wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Bit gutted about Breadman leaving.
His recent email explaining his genuine love for Brucie,and his heartfelt plea for me to get him into the appreciation society,touched me deeply.
He'd been hiding his love for all these years,and now I'm powerless to help him.
If he doesn't come back I'll have to send him the new members pack by post. It contains all he needs,although the wig might need dry cleaning.
Hang in there old chum,and keep your eyes peeled for the parcel man. The box will be marked 'Toxic. Not to be removed from premises',but just ignore that,it means nothing.
I'll sneak a Sammy Davis Jnr tribute DVD in for good measure. Enjoy.

 you're meant to be getting him back on here not driving him farther away 

Agree Piggers. So come on Boncemeister step up, how far will you go to get breaders back? Renounce your Brucie fan club membership? A sacrifice worth making!?

I don't think you understand the brucie fan club manda, it's like the mafia once you're in you only ever leave in a bodybag

Eeek thanks for the warning wgo, appreciated. Nice to know you got my back. So come on bonceypoo, what else can you do to tempt Breaders?

I don't want to use strongarm tactics,but the Breadman should always bear in mind that I have at least three copies of a certain video he's been trying to keep quiet.
It's only thirty minutes in length,but mind blowing stuff for a forum like ours.
Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs are involved at one point,but I'll go no further.
I'm making him an offer he can't refuse.

boltonbonce wrote:I don't want to use strongarm tactics,but the Breadman should always bear in mind that I have at least three copies of a certain video he's been trying to keep quiet.
It's only thirty minutes in length,but mind blowing stuff for a forum like ours.
Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs are involved at one point,but I'll go no further.
I'm making him an offer he can't refuse.

Woah bollocks to breaders I've got to see that video, is there an Aunt Sally outfit,

tell him you can arrange another referendum with a fixed remain vote and remove crayons from the school dinners menu

whatsgoingon wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:I don't want to use strongarm tactics,but the Breadman should always bear in mind that I have at least three copies of a certain video he's been trying to keep quiet.
It's only thirty minutes in length,but mind blowing stuff for a forum like ours.
Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs are involved at one point,but I'll go no further.
I'm making him an offer he can't refuse.

Woah bollocks to breaders I've got to see that video, is there an Aunt Sally outfit,

tell him you can arrange another referendum with a fixed remain vote and remove crayons from the school dinners menu

With Brucie as Worzel Gummidge? I've seen that one. The plot is weak, the character development non existent, but there's a certain raw charm in the dialogue.

Chairmanda wrote:

whatsgoingon wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:I don't want to use strongarm tactics,but the Breadman should always bear in mind that I have at least three copies of a certain video he's been trying to keep quiet.
It's only thirty minutes in length,but mind blowing stuff for a forum like ours.
Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs are involved at one point,but I'll go no further.
I'm making him an offer he can't refuse.

Woah bollocks to breaders I've got to see that video, is there an Aunt Sally outfit,

tell him you can arrange another referendum with a fixed remain vote and remove crayons from the school dinners menu

With Brucie as Worzel Gummidge? I've seen that one. The plot is weak, the character development non existent, but there's a certain raw charm in the dialogue.

That's a bit like the German plumber video I've got, I think it was a high budget promotion because his afro and moustache along with the fake tan must have cost a fortune and I swear it was a real spanner he was holding.
As it was in German I'm assuming the dialogue had a raw charm because she said ja ja a lot.

I've been concerned about him for some time.
In fact,ever since his self funded movie 'Tarzan in Worsley Woods' bombed at the box office. 
Taking the lead himself was a mistake. Always go for talent.
Offering Scott the part of Cheetah the chimp also set us on our present road to disaster. Things went from bad to worse when Boggers agreed to take the part of Jane,leaving Scott high and dry.
Breaders has to shoulder at least some of the blame for our present situation.

I thought breaders was familiar it should have clicked when I saw this new business open in the south of France

You should see what he can do with a banana!

boltonbonce wrote:You should see what he can do with a banana!

You can keep that video thanks!

Always worth a try.

Great news. I can post videos again. Don't know what went wrong but it's all back to normal.
This is just a tester.

Been keeping tabs on the Breadman. Followed him over to BA. He didn't see me.

He might simply have got lost,but it's as well to be  prepared for anything.