If Plastic Pam would let him before they turned in and played "Squeaky valve/ PVC Special love time games."
With Archie the spaniel watching and probably wondering what the fuck his owner was doing with that big assed, lipstick and boots wearing balloon thing......
Gary Hallows is his name.
I found that out thanks to the Salford Advertiser. It was a free paper we got before the media companies decided that free news once a week wasn't profitable and binned it and it once carried a story about a bloke called Gary Hallows who was a bit miffed about how his dog Archie had been served with a prohibition notice for shitting in Worsley Woods.
We all knew that his dog wad called Archie so you didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to put the pieces together.
I mentioned it on 606 and he went into an apoplectic rage about how his dog should be allowed to poo wherever he wanted and how he was going to hunt me down and kill me for suggesting that he should actually pick it up and start behaving like a responsible dog owner like the rest of us and stop trying to be a media celebrity....
....based on a crusade to allow his dog to shit with impunity wherever it liked.
And, as it turned out, he was a Utd fan.